Roxana Saberi, an Iranian-American reporter from North Dakota, was sentenced Saturday by the Iranian government to eight years in prison, after being convicted of no penis in the first degree.
The one-day trial was closed to the public, though sources inside the Iranian Justice Department claimed the evidence against Saberi was "overwhelming", and that Saberi herself openly confessed throughout the proceedings to not having a penis.
Iranian President Mahmoud John Ahmadinejad released a statement clarifying Saberi's imprisonment.
"She was reporting news without the proper credentials -- namely, while not being in possession of a penis. This is unacceptable."
U.S. Sen. Kent Conrad (D-ND) called the ruling "not good...maybe even bad," adding, "Iran 
cannot prove she is not a man."
U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton vowed to get to the bottom of the mystery of Saberi's true sexual identity, stating, "We are working closely with the Swiss Protecting Presence to find out if this 'thing' actually is a woman, and to make sure that if he is not a woman, he is promptly released."
Iran, which is a country somewhere near Iraq and China, generally follows a cult called Islam, an ancient belief system condemned by many scholars as "crazy" and "just plain weird."
"What one sees in Iran is a large religious presence in the population," said Dr. Irvin Kushner, a professor of theology and history at Brown University. "Consequently, politicians fight to be seen as loyal to religion in order to win votes from the population. Even one issue of disagreement can lead to shunning from an entire religious group."
Kushner believes that these deep religious roots permeated throughout Saberi's trial, making it difficult to determine whether or not impartial justice has been served.
"She was put on trial based on a set of morals that have no place in the modern world," said Kushner. "The mere fact that all witnesses had to swear on the Koran before giving their testimonies just goes to show how insane the whole proceedings were. Just because a random Middle Eastern person wrote up a bunch of rules two thousand years ago doesn't automatically mean they make any sense."
Unfortunately for Saberi, Islamic law is usually uncompromising in its requirement that all news reporting be conducted by penises, which are considered to be the true human brain. Without a penis, a person -- known scientifically as a "girl" or "female" -- is discouraged from receiving an education, working, or doing anything, ever.
Most Americans were unaware of Saberi's imprisonment, instead focusing their attention on pirates.
"When peace becomes more losing than war," explained local mechanic Thomas Jefferson, "we may prefer the latter on the principle of pecuniary calculation alone."
The Iranian Justice Department says Saberi is expected to try to appeal the sentence but to fail when her female brain is unable to comprehend how exactly to do that.
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94 comments:
They probably got Dick Cheney and Scooter Libby to testify.
This journalist will be used by Iran to show an expression of good will when they finally release her, and they will. Meanwhile, she will be treated very well while in prison so she will have nothing but good things to say about her treatment when she is released. There was no spying here, and Iran knows this. This incident is about political posturing and gamesmanship, nothing more. Just wait and watch. Remember, we captured and mistreated over 6000 men alleging they were terrorist after 9/11. All but a few were later released with nothing more than an "our bad" offered them by US officials. This young woman journalist is safe, will be treated well and will be home soon.
Lets See !!
We Hold Prisoners !!!
They Hold Prisoners !!!
Yikes !!
Living in Iran for Six years doing research? Six years? She moved to Iran. Why would anyone go to Iran let alone move there for six years.
People such as this cause problems for this country.
Pehaps her misfortune could be a lesson to those who want to move to a country with a tendency to throw people in jail for no reason, trumped up reasons.
As "tragic" as it is for her, she went to Iran on her own, (maybe she is a "spy," who knows) but the individual citizens with dual citizenship need to be informed again that when they go to places such as Iran, for whatever the reason, they are on their own.
How long was she planing on doing "research" in Iran? Six more years?
I have news for you: if YOU live in the USA, YOU live in a country that throws people in jail for NO reason, and renditions them to other countries for interrogation and torture.
Unfortunately you are dead on with your comments. Many of America's practices are in line with countries like Iran, N. Korea and Syria. For some reason people must don't seem to be able to put it all together.
Then there is the fact freedom of the press in the U.S. is only ranked 39th world wide.
The press/MSM in america is tightly run by repub corporations that only broadcast their right wing ideology and propaganda masquerading as news - I'm surprised we're as high as 39th!!
we don't know the facts because the trial was held behind closed doors. In light of the Iranian government's conscious decision to withhold information, it's completely reasonable to presume the process unfair.
How could it be fair. She didn't have a penis! (Oh doc, you are soooo
bad LOL)
Of course Iran found her guilty; they do not believe in any way shape or form in independent journalism, so, by their definition (their whole world view, in fact), she was relating stories on Iranians = ergo a spy.
we get it.
a chip to be played for advantage later.
I feel badly for her and her family.
She has "dual" citizenship.
So, not only she has an Iranian father (making her Iranian by blood) but she is also under "full" Iranian jurisdiction as a citizen.
So, for her to put herself into this situation (i.e., working for a foreign news organization with a US passport AND an Iranian passport), even if she is innocent, is not very smart of her.
With all the degrees from blue-chip schools she could have landed a good job in the US.
As a woman, she is not exactly treated as a first-class citizen in Iran, either.
And if she is actually associated with the US intelligence operations, that means, it was quite dumb not for her but many others to put her in this situation.
There are legal protections that she would have as an American citizen spying for Iran that she clearly does not have as an alleged spy in Iran, even though she's a citizen there as well.
ummm what? Protections really?? Remember Jose Padilla??? "George W. Bush designated him an illegal enemy combatant and transferred him to a military prison, arguing that he was thereby not entitled to trial in civilian courts."
Of course we don't remember, we don't even know who he is. Fox Spews or Limbaugh didn't tell us.
Many Americanscum republicons here think it's okay for their country to kill innocent women and children and spy on people.
The term 'American' thanks to the last 8 years is now synonymous internationally with 'hypocrite' and 'nazi'.
There have been women jailed in Iran for failing to trim their fingernails or allowing an ankle to be shown.
Charges of spying are common.
That could mean she had an acquaintance within the university.
It's quite haphazard and unpredictable.
for all our faults, america is still a far cry from theocratic iran and its "judicial" system. sure, we have an extremist element in our country that would be happy with their version of "revolutionary" america, which looks a lot like revolutionary iran, but they were voted out of office and we're moving in another direction, at least for the next 4 years. also, the US is dismantling gitmo, or so I heard.
we are making a course correction under obama, but you have a point. "The damage is done" according to Dr Rachel Maddow, who made a sobering observation as she addressed the plight of two journalists currently in North Korean custody.
See that clip here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Id3d4IPKq6Q
Sometimes, these Iranians can be just plain blockhead stupid.
Beating up on innocent American women, good looking ones too (she's gorgeous, a former Miss North Dakota), is just about the fastest way I can think of to get the tremendous and growing well of American anger pointed at them.
Not bright when there are so many guns pointed in their direction. It would make a nice distraction for the wall street crowd to promote in the news. I'm surprised the drum beat hasn't started already. Mr. Murdoc?
I googled Roxana Saberi's photos after reading what cltclt posted. I was always wondering what Arab men found so stunning about arab women that they would hide them under so much clothing ... I see now ... very nice.
I'm sorry for her. From my reading, sometimes Iran allows women prisoners to be released sooner. But she's in for some very traumatic times.
so far there seems to be a deafening silence from virtually all media here ...You would think there would be some vocal outcry......But TeaBaggers Media seems to have a hatefilled agenda.
Hey, if Julia Child used her cooking as a cover for spy work, anything is possible. :o)~
If she was my daughter I'd take her passport away until she acquired some common sense and decided to stick to civilized countries. Sweden has journalists and they will never behead you.
Maybe she was a spy.
I'm not saying that I trust Iranian justice (because I don't), but it isn't unimaginable that we would have a spy there.
Spy or not; we shouldn't be surprised either way.
If you trust American justice you may be brainwashed. Stop watching Fox and listening to AM talk radio immediately
America is perhaps the LEAST free country in the modern world.
Corrupt thru and thru. Obama's got a hell of a job to do cleaning it up.
My thought as well. The response here, in both media and government circles, is pretty low key.
But doesn't it seem pretty stupid for a spy -- someone who wants to gather information without the authorities knowing about it -- to pose as someone whose job it is to gather information? As a foreign journalist, Saberi would know that the Iranian security apparatus would be watching her every move.
Something doesn't seem right here, only 8 years for spying? In Iran? Really?
Oppressive theocratic regimes are so 16th century. :-o
And to think that the followers of Palin want us to revert back to the 16th century as well.
No wonder the Republican party is in its death throes.
It is very strange that Iran would do this now. Maybe something is going on behind the scenes to win her release. We can hope so.
Meanwhile, we have our own political prisoner her in the good old USA!
Don Siegelman is in prison because of a corrupt political environment in Alabama lead by none other than Carl Rove.
We need to work for his release as well.
Isn't it ironic that people who should be in prison aren't and people who are, shouldn't be.
It's just another way for Iran to flip off Obama, probably.
If we can beg/borrow money from china who is a communist country without a free press and locked up dissidents, why can't we normalize relationships with cuba! and what south american countries are saying about the atrocities of america and europe on south america is true. If you include native americans, asians, africans, Americans and europeans have wreaked havoc on the entire world and it's time to stop lying about it; big guns and a great military will not protect america as it has in the past, and it's time we realize this.
What a sad state of affairs. I wonder if Iran is really just using her as a bargaining chip to get other concessions from the US.
Iran is a theocratic dictatorship.
Foreign journalists are viewed as a major threat to the regime.
The regime is under great pressure because of its collapsing economy.
Hence the regime sets an example....The message: foreign journalists should not travel to Iran.
North Koreans are doing the same thing.
The threat she bore had little to do with journalism.
Obviously...they are sending a signal to foreigners...stay out.
Let's acknowledge the fact that America also has a collapsing economy, brought on by America's recent dictatorship. We should have all screamed as loudly when Vice President Cheney incredibly outed our own US spy, named Valerie Plame. We had 8 years here of the same type Iranian government, no matter what you called it. We were Bush whacked!
What a coincidence. Obama has essentially shamed Iran into agreeing to negotiate from a weak position, and suddenly they create a giant bargaining chip.
Sleazy move, but I suspect that our President will out maneuver them. The guy is amazing.
very interesting coincidence indeed
Good point.
US agreed to joint talks with Iran, and Saberi's charge was upgraded to espionage - BOTH on April 8. Strong elements in Iran whose interests benefit by scuttling detente with US.
If Iran is smart in this they should immediately release Saberi. It would improve their image on the world stage, having the compassion to release a "spy" [hypothetically their characterization, not mine] and human "bargaining chips" are always problematic.
I agree. Saberi's sentencing may have been a serious tactical error on Iran's part.
I trust that our new administration will exploit the misstep and free Saberi in the process.
more fodder for the right wing nutcases and Limbaugh. This is going to leave a mark.
We already know what Limbo will say ...
Something on the lines of, " IF it was a white president who ordered the shooting of 3 BLACK teenage kids ......... "
Limbo is USELESS ...
Like the GOP has ever given a crap about journalists. Just bring up Ann Counter's remarks about them.
Don't they usually EXECUTE convicted spies in Iran? This woman is now going to be used as a bargaining chip.
If the US gives in, she gets out earlier.. if not, then it's ONLY 8 years of her life for getting "caught" doing something stupid.. because if they did indeed execute her, Iran would lose any gains in opening relationship with the US.
The problem, though, is that she's a public relations liability. This conjures up memories of the Terry Anderson incident, which did the Arab world no favors in terms of its international image.
So I'm optimistic that she will be free soon in some ostensible conciliatory diplomatic gesture.
Is the assumption here that she was an American spy? Why would the CIA choose a woman for such a role in a theocracy-ruled country that has their "special" rules re the treatment of women?
I don't get it.
sometimes the "journalist/spy" approaches *them*. theoretically, she may have been in iran for years before she came across something that she thought warranted the attention of the us intelligence.
Hmm, good point, it's a possibility. I just wish we had more information. Don't we all.
Shit happens all over the world but you have to wonder why the MSM picks and chooses its headlines! There is always an agenda folks.
Oh so true. And it is, or should be, common knowledge as to why the MSM picks and chooses headlines. Seems to me as tho the Propaganda machine is fueling unrest amongst the public "against" Iran. Anxious to see how this turns out.
Islam, a religion of mercy charity and peace, strikes again..!
Why so negative about Islam? They always give you a choice: convert or the sword, pay tribute or the sword, sharia or the sword, etc.
I sure hope the US is, quietly, firmly, urgently working on her release.
Iran has released few details about the charges against Saberi. Iranian officials initially said she had been arrested for working in the Islamic Republic without press credentials, and she had told her father in a phone conversation that she was arrested after buying a bottle of wine.
Good grief......she bought a bottle of wine!
Maybe it was a Mogen David...
ha!
President Obama's genius is rooted in his penchant for thoughtful deliberation, followed by resolute action.
I trust that he is on this.
Let her go! She's too hot to be a spy.
The hot ones make the best spies...
Trying to think of whether or not I know anything to be spied upon by a hot chick in a burqa ... (note to self "before you die get girlfriend in a burqa")
Our shameless support of Mohammed Reza Pahlavi was the catalyst for Iran's wild swing back to extreme Islamic fundamentalism.
Obama is not inclined toward sycophancy. His overtures to the despots of the world are steeped in strategy.
Sullenberger in the cockpit, Obama in the Oval Office ... there is great hope.
I hope there are no questions about her going to Iran in the first place. She has family ties to the country.
She is also an American citizen (was a former Miss North Dakota) and she is a Journalist. It seems to me quite normal for someone in her field and family connections to want to go to Iran and report what she sees.
For Iran being a "spy" is not just gathering information for the US Government. If she were to go to a neighborhood and report what the people actually do think and feel about their government that would also be spying.
In the US people report all day and night about the problems of everyday life here, many items that do not present our government in a good light. Yet we don't lock them up.
This is a test by Iran to see how our government will respond. I hope, like other activity by Obama, it is being done quietly, deliberately and will have a positive outcome.
She needs our support, she was right to go there and she is being used as a pawn.
I have a couple of American-Iranian gal buds. One is scared to death when she visits. She refuses to leave the house of her relatives. The other one is more relaxed.
The problem with Iran is how unpredictable it is for women. Things loosen up. Women start to venture out more. Then things tighten down. They end up arrested for the nuttiest of reasons. You can get by with your dish TV for a long time. All of a sudden, the family is arrested for being spies because of your dish network.
It's just pretty much a dysfunctional situation. I think the worst aspect of that type of culture is how it turns everyone into Post Traumatic Stress victims.
Republicans have had a mouthful of Saudi sausage for the last 30 years. They only reason Rethugs care about this women -- she is an excuse for aggression.
Even if she's CIA (doubtful, but who knows) we have to try and get her back. We can't let an American woman from Fargo sit in an Iranian jail for eight years.
If she is CIA, she knew going in that if she was caught she would be on her own. The CIA leaves agents flapping in the wind all over the world. Really.
Throw her in a lake, if she floats she's not a spy. If she doesn't (due to the cement shoes), she is!
End of story.
What happened to the book Roxana Saberi was writing? The book was undergoing it's final edit and was to be published in Iran and in the west.
What is in that book that is so damaging that the author gets 8 years of prison?
Did Iran also suppress the book?
I hope that a copy was sent to the west and is in safety, and that it will be published.
Oprah probably has it.
She's too cute to be in jail. Let's get her out. Who is with me?
Mister Ahmadinejad,
Please free Roxana Saberi.
Thank you very much for your cooperation,
navarro
Most Iranians want to normalize the relationship between our countries and are at odds with their own leadership.
Kinda like our last eight years?
The difference is, we were able to vote out the last guy and his party.
Um, no.
We tried.
They stole the election.
Twice.
Pretty much.
Profile: Roxana Saberi:
When the journalist Roxana Saberi was first arrested in Iran, her family was told it was for buying a bottle of wine - an act banned under the country's Islamic law.
That was in January 2009. Iranian prosecutors then accused her of working as a journalist without a valid press card, before on 8 April she was finally accused of spying for the US.
Between January and March, Ms Saberi was only able to contact her family in the US twice, according to the human rights group Amnesty International.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/8000522.stm
Shock arrest:
The development surprised former BBC Tehran correspondent Frances Harrison, who remembers her as a very careful person.
"She was a very cautious person and the kind of person who wore a headscarf even in diplomatic functions where there were no restrictions," she said.
"She was careful about her reputation being a young, single woman living in Iran."
She added: "She would know as a journalist that she would be under a lot of scrutiny - her phone would be listened to and she would be watched."
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/8000522.stm
In the end, she was arrested for buying a bottle of wine -- which, of course, means she's a spy.
Her arrest serves one purpose: to use her as a bargaining chip.
Precisely. The same is true with North Korea and those two American women they are holding.
Just what I was thinking. It's a simple hostage situation thinly disguised as something else.
Bush definitely set a very bad, bad example of what the U.S. stood for in front of the world. However, he was not the only one. Our arrogant and gun boat diplomacy has been the way that most of our previous administrations have conducted foreign policy.
Countries who have been abused by U.S. are not suddently going to put down their guards just because Obama in in power. The Obama Administration must show through actions that it has changed its ways, words alone are not enough. Many of these countries have heard nice words before only to be proceeded by an invasion, attack and sanctions.
Winning trust is not slam dunk; it requires patience, understanding, smart negotiations, and humility. I hope that President Obama can proceed in this direction.
hear hear!
She was arrested for spying on wine?
UPDATE: TEHRAN, Iran —
Iran's president said Sunday that an American journalist convicted of spying for the U.S. should be allowed to offer a full defense during her appeal, a day after she was sentenced to eight years in prison.
The message was a sign that Iran's leadership does not want the case to derail moves toward a dialogue with the Obama administration to break a 30-year diplomatic deadlock.
Hard-line President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad sent a letter to Tehran's chief prosecutor instructing him to personally ensure that "suspects be given all their rights to defend themselves" against the charges. "Prepare for the court proceedings ... to observe and apply justice precisely," the state news agency IRNA quoted him as saying.
The letter came a day after Iran announced the conviction and sentence for Roxana Saberi, a 31-year-old dual American-Iranian citizen who was born in the U.S. and grew up in Fargo, North Dakota. It was the first time Iran has found an American journalist guilty of espionage, and her lawyer said he'll appeal.
President Barack Obama said Sunday he was "gravely concerned" about Saberi's safety and well-being and was confident she wasn't involved in espionage. The U.S. has called the charges baseless and said Iran would gain U.S. goodwill if it "responded in a positive way" to the case.
"She is an Iranian-American who was interested in the country which her family came from. And it is appropriate for her to be treated as such and to be released," Obama said.
These accusations are more about keeping Iranian women in check, not about very much else. They do not want her to be an icon for the young Iranian women who want careers and more freedoms.
It's a simple warning to them, "Don't think, just do as we say."
Which is the fundamental dark principle behind all Islamic states and their politics (except Turkey).
They will never send her home, but keep her as a hostage to remind females, especially the young bright women of Iran to stay at home, have babies, cook for the men etc. and purge any thoughts of dissent.
It's 12th century policy, a scare tactic to enslave an entire popualtion of wired young people.
This morning on the "news," it was reported that the young lady entered a plea of guilty as part of a deal. Her father claims that she was tricked into taking the plea. Now if you haven't done anything why would you accept a deal? If you are innocent and you accept a deal it makes you look guilty. Of course if you are guilty and you accept a plea you are angling for a reduced sentence. I don't know if she's guilty or innocent and neither do most of the folks that have been expressing great outrage about the verdict. I do know that if she entered a plea, she has some explaining to do.
In this case, yes. If she hadn't plead out, she would have been found guilty anyway, and been subject to the death penalty. And you can bet your sweet ones that the outgoing hard line government would have made damn sure she was executed just before the June election.
A reform party candidate is ahead in the polls. The hard liners have to make a statement. They have no qualms about killing an innocent young woman to do it - especially not a woman.
Be forewarned, people. As Obama and Clinton raise the stakes by gaining the trust of people like Raol Castro and Hugo Chavez, Iran will become even more isolated. That is a smart tactic, and it seems to be working.
Ahmadinejad leaves office in two months, having exhausted his two term limit, and a very popular reformer, backed by former president Khatami, leads in the polls.
The hard line conservative politicians in Iran are increasingly desperate. After eight years of fierce rhetoric from the United States (which drove voters to re-elect hard liners), the United States' softening of its rhetoric seems to have put them on the back foot. They have done this to provoke a response which they can wave around in the lead-up to the June elections as evidence that the US is still "the Great Satan". But - wait - they didn't get threats of bombardment or sanctions. They got instead a response which condemns the verdict but puts its trust in the Iranian legal system to rectify on appeal.
I mean, what are the hard-liner in Iran going to do with that? They are going crazy trying to figure out how to turn this statement into a threat.
I am sorry for the journalist. She has become a political pawn in a high stakes game of chess. I hope the gods of justice and righteousness are looking out for her - I know her lawyers are.
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