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Dates separate each post, barely, so look for the dates on the left. Print is large & readable. Comment section is unchanged. My Profile info was at the bottom, but I moved it back to the top. Deal with it.
[Disclaimer: Pursuant to the UCC (Uniform Comedy Code), all depictions of events and persons on this site are more real than reality itself, and therefore any resemblance to reality is not really real.]
Unbalanced. Unfair. I report. I decide.
ABANDON HOPE ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE. If you have already abandoned hope, please disregard this notice. In this blog, you'll be exposed to the way I see things. Lots of things. Stuff I think of. Things that happen. Random weirdness. Occasional seriousness. My life. My world. My universe. My reality. By reading this, you have given me brief control of your mind....
Dr. B.
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- THE McCAIN FAMILY NEWSLETTER PROUDLY ENDORSES BARA...
- A LETTER TO SARAH PALIN FROM GOD
- HERE'S YOUR REAL AMERICA, GOV. PALIN: REDNECKS FOR...
- BY NOW MOST OF YOU KNOW, BARACK OBAMA'S GRANDMOTH...
- THE UNITED STATES ELECTS BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA, FIR...
- HOW TO SURVIVE LATENT ELECTION BRAINLASHING
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- "WHAT'S A CONTINENT?" "AFRICA." "ISN 'T IT A COUNT...
- 2008 ELECTION RESULTS BY IQ (COMPARE WITH 2004 RE...
- OBAMA WILL USE EXECUTIVE ORDER TO REVERSE BUSH'S D...
- A MAN OF HIS WORD, PRESIDENT-ALMOST BARACK OBAMA S...
- WHY SUPERMAN GOES TO BED WEARING BARACK OBAMA PAJAMAS
- SARAH PALIN'S REJECTED CONCESSION SPEECH LEAKED TO...
- TODAY'S YODA QUOTE: SARAH PALIN IN AN INTERVIEW W...
- LATEST HILLARY-OBAMA SITCOM : HE OFFERS HER SECRE...
- YOUR WEEKLY ADDRESS FROM THE PRESIDENT-ELECT. NO,...
- TELL US PRESIDENT-ELECT OBAMA, WHAT SACRIFICES DO ...
- SARAH PALIN'S $192,366 SHOPPING SPREE
- OBAMA'S USE OF COMPLETE SENTENCES CONTROVERSIAL, A...
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- WORLD LEADERS DON'T SHAKE BUSH'S HAND AT G20 SUMMIT
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57 comments:
Hard to believe this quote is for real, but I checked the transcript and it is. I read this 7 or 8 eight times until my eyes started to hurt. I don't know how it's mentally possible to be a native English speaker and still be able to string these words together in this order. That's not to say I've never heard English spoken like this before. I once heard a panhandler shout some pretty cool beat-poetry stuff outside of a 7-11. I wonder how that dude would fare in an Alaska state election.
I laughed, I cried...I vomited...
I have concluded that the problem that so many people have in understand what Palin is saying is that we make the mistake of assuming that all of the words have some reason for being there. What we have to do instead is decrypt her message by filtering out all of the confusing chatter that keeps her statements encoded and difficult to follow. Let’s take the first sentence, and identify the essential elements in CAPITAL LETTERS:
"Sitting here in these chairs that I’m going to be proposing but in working with THESE GOVERNORS WHO again ON THE FRONT LINES ARE FORCED TO and it’s our privileged obligation to FIND SOLUTIONS TO THE CHALLENGES FACING OUR OWN STATES EVERY DAY being held accountable, not being just one of many just casting votes or voting present every once in a while, we don’t get away with that."
See? If you just cut out about 60% of what she says, it hangs together nicely. By comparison, the second sentence (go to the transcript) is a piece of cake. Pretty much every word in the second sentence serves a function. Once reporters and voters acquire sufficient training in PALINONICS, there should be no more misunderstandings.
What is needed is some kind of computer translation/editing program that could turn Palinspeak into plain English.
Alternatively, and more entertainingly, someone could write a program that turns ordinary speech into Palinspeak.
Someone did that with Snoop Dog’s vernacular, and it was wildly successful.
Just as Newt taught Republicans how to speak in disciplined, coded phrases, Palin might teach a whole new generation of GOP politicians how to imitate her style of speech, and thus bring about a radical transformation of the political landscape.
I can hardly wait.
Well, some people might sneer at Palin for including “confusing chatter” in her statements. But what these psuedo-intellectuals don’t understand is that Palin’s just operating on a more sophisticated level than they are.
Including extraneous words and phrases in important communications has a proud history in the American military as a means of reducing the effectiveness of enemy code-breaking operations. Is the US military “unsophisticated” as well?
Clearly Palin, having had previous statements taken out of context by the liberal media and her political enemies, has decided that she must veil the true meaning of her statements so that only her supporters will know what she’s really saying.
Anyone is unable to understand Gov. Palin, then it follows that they are not in possession of the code book one must use to break the Palin Cipher, and are therefore clearly not REAL AMERICANS, and thus should be ignored when it comes to matters of Palinology.
Camille Paglia says Palin ‘uses language with the jumps, breaks and rippling momentum of a be-bop saxophonist.’
http://www.salon.com/opinion/paglia/2008/11/12/palin/print.html
Clearly, it’s my lack of appreciation for experimental jazz that has soured me on Palin.
Whenever she speaks to the public she sounds like she is preaching.
“Sitting here in these chairs that I’m going to be proposing but in working with these governors who again on the front lines are forced to and it’s our privileged obligation to find solutions to the challenges facing our own states every day being held accountable, not being just one of many just casting votes or voting present every once in a while, we don’t get away with that."
Now lets rework that sentence to normal speak:
“Sitting here in these chairs, I am going to propose solutions to the challenges facing our states. Governors are held accountable. We are not one of many casting votes on legislation. Governors aren’t able to get away with that."
It is too bad she seems to be writing her own material. But in normal speak she could make some sense; in her preacher speak, that is clearly impossible.
"Camille Paglia says Palin ‘uses language with the jumps, breaks and rippling momentum of a be-bop saxophonist.’"
So Sarah Palin has a Charlie Parker-esque gift for improvisation? That wasn’t the impression I got from listening to her in interviews. I’d say that Palin’s use of language more closely resembles the tin-eared screeching of a junior high school saxophonist.
Comparing Palin to an improvisational musician is an insult to musicians who must work for years to learn to listen and hone their skills on their instruments. To suggest Charlie Parker’s in her voice is beyond insulting.
She’s so full of hot air. She has no real ideas. She’s just posturing like it’s yet another pageant. That’s all we’ve had, pageant-speak.
It's possible to track her meaning, but one needs to locate the speech fragments – the ones that track logically. And this is best done by working with transcripts. Listening to her in real time (for example, watch Blitzer, Couric, Lauer or any of her flummoxed interviewers listening to her) is quite another matter.
Palin also strikes me as an aural learner, not a visual learner. This learning preference arms her with the ability to adopt any number of phrases that she has heard here and there. Phrases that are essentially without content (like “it’s our privileged obligation”) and which she tosses into her word salads like cherry tomatoes. Her physical presence and her fluency provide the vinaigrette that, to some {like Paglia} makes the salad palatable.
Kinda like watching Sid Caesar improvisationally speaking in his made-up but real sounding foreign languages...
My guess is that these nonsense elements are her versions of throat-clearing. It could be her nervous habit. Because she is wired for speech, but not educated for thought, she resorts to random vocalizations a little bit frantically until, whew, finally, she manages a declarative sentence.
Sounds like the way I used to fill up 'blue book' essays in college.
LOL
exactly! The more words, the better!
Instead of writing simply "I don't know" I'd write:
"Not knowing for an absolute certainty, I would not presume to affirm with any degree of accuracy".
ROTFLMAO!!!!
What Palin is guilty of here is something most of us recognize very well: It’s the type of thing I used to do in high school and college when I was bluffing my way through an essay test where I didn’t know the material, same as Maddox. Say as many words as possible, throw in substantive-sounding terms whenever you can, but don’t actually say anything. It’s like the old saying: If you can’t dazzle them with intellect, baffle them with bullshit.
I Hate Stupid People:
This apparently works with roughly 1/3 of the American electorate, judging from the election-time polling questions about Palin’s preparedness. I’m giving credit to several million McCain voters for going for him IN SPITE of Palin, presumably in hopes that McCain wouldn’t die in office. The rest were either dazzled, as you say, or else are accomplished in the art of doublethink.
Turkish Towel earlier commented here that Palin’s speech sounds like preaching in Church terms, and I think that's why Palin speaks this way.
She comes from a religious world that is opposed to reason, and has invented an alternative method for talking to God.
Traditional Churches adhere to the notion that God is logos, that our own rational minds are reflections of God, are gifts by which we may come to understand God, whereas Palin’s religious world sees the mind as an obstacle to God.
In their view, pure emotion is the only true path to God, and reason just gets in the way.
So when Palin speaks, she isn’t paying attention to the words, she’s paying attention to her own emotional state, and the emotional state of her audience.
This is why she is such a mesmerizing public speaker, even when she doesn’t make sense, because not making sense is part of the message, part of what allows her to convey a pure emotional feeling to her audience.
This is how preachers of a certain type operate. They often stop making sense, and just shout out emotional declarations and aspirations.
They assume God isn’t listening to the words, but to the emotional meaning behind the words, so he can sort it out himself directly, without any messy grammar and vocabulary.
So Palin doesn’t care if she obeys the rules of grammar, she only cares that she obeys the emotional connection she feels to her God, her audience, her own sense of herself.
This is what these people call “authenticity”. And yes, she’s not alone in approaching life this way.
A large portion of the evangelical community out there instantly recognizes what she’d doing, and enthusiastically supports her for it.
Those who don’t “get it” are thus instantly recognized as not being part of the “word of God”, and she knows that “they don’t see the world the way you and I do”.
Exactly! Palin's social milieu, fringe Assembly of God meetings, and charismatic prayer groups have influenced her speech with the impressionistic, fuzzy patterns of group supplications that range willy-nilly from the spirit of witchcraft at the library, to churchgoers’ druggy teenagers, to Angela’s lost schnauzer, to Ted and Donna’s struggle with infertility, etc.
In supplication (prayer) mode, Palin has become accustomed to careening from topic to topic – none of them logically related. Again, in her Assembly of God milieu, where well-educated listeners are not present to ask “WTF?”, Palin creates the appearance of coherent speech with resort to linking words and phrases like: also, over there, again, there again, just, and so on.
And political speeches, for Palin, are perhaps another form of prayer: it’s a supplication addressed not to God but to potential believers in her.
Palin may have found that the combination of her physical beauty, personal charm, and curious force of will (what people describe variously as magnetism, the “it” factor,” her “sparkling” personality) utterly disarm most of her listeners. Reading just her words from a transcript breaks the spell.
Here’s the thing: her charmed experience with disarmed listeners has made her linguistically lazy, and she was never linguistically fit to begin with. So, on a national stage, dealing perhaps for the first time with incredulous listeners unaccustomed to the cadences of Wasilla Assembly of God prayer meetings, Palin blames aghast listeners. It’s THEIR partisanship, not HER incoherence.
For someone who spent so much time railing against the mainstream media in the run-up to the election, Sarah Palin sure is spending a lot of time giving the dread mainstream media post-election interviews.
Giving interviews to big-deal media personalities like Wolf Blitzer is a necessity if Palin wants to maintain any sort of presence as a national political figure, but if this is the best she’s got (still!), I’m not so certain she’s doing herself any favors.
listened to her babble in 'Pageant Speak' to Larry King last night.
Awful is too kind.
She is simply dreadful.
Impossible to imagine her as president of anything …..except MAYBE the Wasilla PTA.
She’s basically saying that “Governors are on the ‘front line’ making decisions and aren’t just casting votes in a big legislature”.
It doesn’t really answer Blitzer's question, but I think I get what she’s trying to say.
“Sitting here in these chairs that I’m going to be proposing but in working with these governors who again on the front lines are forced to and it’s our privileged obligation…”
I think this is a secret prophecy that Russia will attack Iran during the next lunar eclipse. You just have to know how to interpret the Oracle’s pronouncements.
My eyes, they bleed again.
Geez...she should at least take a break long enough to learn something other than pageant speak.
Go back to Alaska for a year, hire a debate coach, troopergate is heating up again, she needs to freaking get out of the spotlight while that dies.
Act like a governor instead of a beauty pageant contestant on a comeback.
If that is possible.
She can’t have her bigself out there everyday babbling like a stone moron while the video record is soaking up every drop of this idiocy.
Listening to Palin, I keep thinking of those movie actors in the 1920´s and 30´s, the ones whose careers were ruined when they added SOUND TO MOTION PICTURES.
I notice the articles quote her EXACTLY, with all the UMS, and the YOU KNOWS, all the circuitous ramlings. Does she ever read these articles and say, GOLLY, I have to learn how to connect a sentence.´
We aren´t rid of one rambling retard yet (Bush), and ANOTHER one has been embraced by the American public!
The GOP is between a rock and a hard place.
Palin is either hateful deathpoison or a ludicrous joke to all the demographics they need to court for 2012, but the base worships her.
Even NRO secretly knows she is a complete horrorshow as a candidate.
They just can’t say it.
She is news, if it bleeds it leads, and she drives ratings.
Interesting times.
Anyone care to diagram this sentence?
Sitting here in these chairs that I’m going to be proposing but in working with these governors who again on the front lines are forced to and it’s our privileged obligation to find solutions to the challenges facing our own states every day being held accountable not being just one of many just casting votes or voting present every once in a while we don’t get away with that
Tejano, I tried. I think the Sarah Palin Sentence Diagrams might be the linguistic equivalent of Pascal’s Theorem. They are like Frankenstein’s monster: foul, obscene, bastardized dopplegangers of actual speech.
I remain completely flummoxed over the contradiction of conservatives who are incensed when their gardener doesn’t speak English but don’t require it of their candidates for high office.
She speaks like a badly translated, Japanese motherboard manual reads. To criticize her parallel sentence structure is to imply the existence of any structure at all.
This statement is like Yoda (good headline Dr. B.) explaining the Jedi Council, 4 hours into an acid trip. How is it that someone so aggressive is only capable of speaking in passive voice?
When I watch her speak, there is no punctuation in her speech either. Seriously. She just, without pause, goes on and on...as if it is just a word salad.
When one reads a full transcript of most speakers, the transcriber will add ellipses, commas and such to suggest the flow and pace of the speaker.
She just emits fountains of words.
This woman can’t complete a full sentence! It’s maddening. I’m not saying she’s stupid, I’m saying she is utterly and completely incapable of articulating thoughts clearly. She needs serious verbal coaching. I wonder if she writes sentences like she says them?
It isn’t her celebrity that people have a problem with. . .it is the fact that she cannot speak in complete sentences.
Now, I don’t care who or what the people of Alaska vote in as their governor, but I sure as hell care who my president and even vice president is.
The President has to be able to speak clearly, concisely, intelligibly with presidents, ambassadors, rulers, prime ministers, and even kings and queens all over the world. Many of these world leaders have been educated in some of the world’s best universities, can speak multiple languages, are often experts in various fields, and if my president/vice president cannot make himself or herself understood in the most basic of ways, communication can be derailed.
If my students wrote such sentences or even spoke them in a presentation, they would receive failing grades, no question. To not demand the highest intelligence from our leaders is stupid – period. I don’t want someone ‘just like me.’ If I were smart enough, I would run for president.
Get a clue.
I really don’t know what is more impressive: her constant, unrelenting stupidity, or the astonishing, desperate denial on the part of right wingers.
Something tells me that most educated right-wingers don’t like her either – at least those that don’t consider her to be a potential figurehead that they can take advantage of from behind the scenes.
But the “base” LOVES her. They love every gosh darn and darn tootin’. They love a women who feels Jesus like a brother, and who blows away animals like a video game. They love finally having someone prominent in national politics who is 'Just Like Them', instead of the suits the GOP usually serves up.
The monster has been unleashed. The genie can’t be put back in the bottle. Because whatever Palin lacks in policy knowledge and book smarts, she more than makes up for in political acumen, charm, and street smarts. She is a force to be reckoned with; just for the wrong reasons.
Quite simply, the GOP is STUCK with her. At least for now; until someone else comes along.
“Pageant Speak” is a great way to put it. To prepare their “interview skills” the girls work hard to memorize and rehearse catch phrase answers for common pageant questions, then learn to sandwich their snippets into some sort of context with the actual interview.
Our Sarah uses this technique to answer questions she doesn’t totally understand. The “word salad” is meant to camouflage the fact that the answer has little or nothing to do with what was asked.
Another tip-off is her tendency to use “passive voice” a lot; “...all these things that are being found there..." We see this pop up a lot in undergraduate journalism students who are trying to sound somehow more “writerly.”
None of this says anything about her intelligence or overall ability, only that she is profoundly uninformed regarding the subjects she is discussing and trying to use pageant techniques to get by.
I think one shouldn’t be so mean to the Wasilla PTA. :)
You would think that a journalism major would know how to construct a sentence.
She does nothing but ramble.
Someone somewhere referred to Palin’s speaking style as “Word Spray”.
Pretty descriptive, I’d say.
Constructing sentences she does fine.
Breaking them up into shorter sentences that actually make sense, not so much.
I think the REAL truth is this:
EVERYONE ON THE PLANET knows that Palin would make for a ridiculous, dangerous, embarrassing President.
But the Wingers support her precisely because they know the very idea makes Liberals insane.
There’s really no other explanation, is there?
Right-wingers aren’t driving liberals insane currently – they are making them very happy!
You’ll notice the GOP just got smoked in the election, after all...
It’s like word salad. She tap dances in place as she tries in vain to organize her thought(s).
Utterly incapable of presenting her ideas in a structured, logical manner. When she finally does get to her point, it’s either lost in the word salad or she simply rests her laurels on the cheap shot which passes as wit.
It’s kinda fascinating. her hubby Todd must be a very patient guy.
This woman suffers acute political Tourette's syndrome. Try to find it in your hearts to refrain from making fun of the ill and mentally misaligned.
I swear if I had the cash, I would start a line of toys - See n’ Say toys in the likeness of Sarah Palin.
Just press a button and hear the recordings.. "Joe the plumber", "this too also", "vote no present", "Mavericky", "I can see Russia", "this that about which we stand today".....
Man, I could make a killing.
The Poetry of Sarah Palin (from Slate.com)
“On the Bailout”
Ultimately,
What the bailout does
Is help those who are concerned
About the health care reform
That is needed
To help shore up our economy,
Helping the—
It’s got to be all about job creation, too.
Shoring up our economy
And putting it back on the right track.
So health care reform
And reducing taxes
And reining in spending
Has got to accompany tax reductions
And tax relief for Americans.
And trade.
We’ve got to see trade
As opportunity
Not as a competitive, scary thing.
But one in five jobs
Being created in the trade sector today,
We’ve got to look at that
As more opportunity.
All those things.
‘Word salad’ is the term that has been used to describe her blatherings, and I think it fits.
‘Pageant speak’ is pretty good, however.
Also.
What annoys me most watching Palin’s interviews is the way she makes eye contact with the interviewer and delivers her answers with righteous certitude. This is where the lack of self-awareness comes in. The fact that she can answer questions confidently with gibberish shows how unaware she is of the farce she has become. I find myself thinking “how can she say that with a straight face?”
My eyes, they bleed again indeed.
And now for something completely different:
Q: What do you call Christian conservatives oppose sex education for their teens?
A: Grandparents
Critics are still analyzing Sarah Palin's interview with Wolf Blitzer Tuesday, and they're saying she was halting, repetitive and stumped on basic questions.
In other words, Palin appeared very presidential.
Whats the difference between sarah palin’s mouth and her birth canal?
Only one-fifth of what came out of her birth canal is retarded.
Ewwwwww
no more
please?
Just make her go away.......
I think she is "speaking in tongues" When this happens the only one who is going to understand you is God.
...which is why God voted for Obama.
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