"Gentlemen! Kindly note that I will be going all Godzilla on your asses and destroying Japan as you know it."
"But please remember to vote for me and my evil mastermind cue-ball head on election day."
If you no speakie Japanese, follow along using the convenient closed captioning.
And breathe a deep
sigh of relief, because Japan's newly empowered leader Yukio Hatoyama rushed Monday to select Cabinet ministers after his party trounced the ruling conservatives in elections, sending them out of power for only the second time in 54 years.
Hatoyama said in a victory speech that he would focus on making a quick and smooth transition, and said his priority was choosing the nation's next finance minister.
Official results were still being counted, but exit polls by all major media said Hatoyama's Democratic Party of Japan had won more than 300 of the 480 seats in the lower house of parliament. That would easily be enough to ensure that he is installed as prime minister in a special session of parliament that is expected to be held in mid-September. If Toyama Koichi the video guy, doesn't get a job, I feel he should take a laxative, get laid, and enroll in an anger management class for constipated ninjas. The dude has issues....
Oh, and by the way, The Hatoyamas should make for an interesting couple-in-chief: he's nicknamed "The Alien" thanks to his unruly head of hair, frozen appearance, and large eyes. And, according to Reuters, Miyuki said she's been to outer space. 
"While my body was asleep, I think my soul rode on a triangular-shaped UFO and went to Venus," Miyuki Hatoyama, the wife of premier-in-waiting Yukio Hatoyama, wrote in a book published last year."It was a very beautiful place and it was really green."
.
125 comments:
I'm making the first comment here, just to explain why today's blog is the way it is.
First, because the video made me LMAO.
Second, I also apologize for disrespectfully LMAO'ing at Japan's first couple - he's nicknamed "The Alien" as I said, and she's been to Venus. You can't make this shit up, gang.
Third, because though you might have been expecting me to blog about President Obama's back-to-school message to America's students, I won't be able to critique Obama's speech (I mean the wingnut reaction to it) until I see it for myself.
This proved to be problematic. I had to DVR C-Span from 10am to 1pm because there was no way to zero in on noon - 12:30.
Before even doing that, I could find no mention on TVGuide.com of when or where the president's speech would be shown, and I had to Google all over the fucking place just to find out that it would be carried only on C-Span. Then I had to go to C-Span.com to find out which C-Span would carry the speech (there are 3!). Go ahead, look in your TV section, or go to TVGuide.com, or just read all the articles about his speech. You'll find no better information than what I just gave. Go on. Try.
And wingnuts are worried about his speech to kids?!? I think they're really too technologically impaired and embarrassed to admit that they DON'T KNOW HOW TO FIND THE FRIGGIN' SPEECH TO EVEN SHOW IT TO THEIR KIDS!
So, in place of our President's speech, I have given you what I termed the "WORST YET MOST AWESOME POLITICAL SPEECH EVER..." along with Japan's new first couple- the Alien and the Abducted.
Enjoy.
Carry on....
"It was a very beautiful place and it was really green." --- Uhhh, lady, Venus has a temperature of 900 degrees so you might want to pack some roll-on deodorant.
Maybe molten lead turns green at a high enough temperature.
Boy I'll bet that little revelation gives all the folks in Japan who voted for them that warm fuzzy feeling of having made the right choice. Yikes.
Better them than the angry violent guy "Gentlemen! kindly note that I will be going all Godzilla on your asses and destroying Japan as you know it but please remember to vote for me and my evil mastermind cue-ball head on election day". The Hatoyamas sound like they were the lesser of the evils.
I think Obama should run 'violent guy's' speech at noon on C-span. That would really mess with the wingnuts bigtime.
LOL I cosign
Japanese Lex Luthor?
he is REALLY saying that. the translations are spot on. This guy is REALLY insane.
Nice hair.
MUHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!The funniest Thing I`ve seen for a while (with the exception of doc's colonoscopy blog)!!! Hilarious..:-D
He did not blink at all.
This man is A GOD...
(..zilla)
Man I wish they did this in the US. It would be entertaining! They could make a reality show of it.. "Who wants to be President?" lol
I think this guy crashed a local Town Hall meeting in my area the other day.
He's a lobbyist for the Insurance companies sent to scare all the neocons.
They should use captioning for when Palin speaks....
Nah, wouldn't help.
He should move to America. There's a future for him as a neocon:
Not a single constructive proposal? Check.
I despise each and every one of you? Check.
Elections do not matter?
Check.
ROTFLMAO!
So very true!
Sounds like he is sitting at the toilet trying to push something really big out
Or maybe he's doing a colonoscopy prep
he looks a Japanese version of Dr. Evil from Goldmember
Looks and sounds to me like he is constipated and could use a major colonoscopy prep!!
This guy would make a great James Bond villain!
I loved every minute of this, and i'm totally serious.
Have him speak to America's kids! LOL
he scared me a little
not as much as Glenn Beck though
agreed
OK, obviously the guy lost and Hatoyama won. The new premier can't help if people nicknamed him The Alien - his hair is freaky, he looks like he bathes in botox, and his eyes do bulge out a little.
But WTF is with his wife Miyuki? She said she's been to outer space (Venus) in a book she wrote, and her other claims to fame include acting, interior designing and writing cookbooks..
Japan velly intelesting prace.
Sounds to me like all the political candidates, winners and losers, are
cocoa for cuckoo poops.
ROFLMAO!
She rode to Venus! Has she met Sarah Palin who must have been there too?
Fact is
No one
Can prove
Or
Disprove
What she says.
Including her
There are a lot of things that I can't prove, but I'm pretty confident that Mrs. Hatoyama has never been to Venus.
If she asked nicely, would you show her Uranus?
HA!
Ok venus is a little ridiculous. But suppose one day there is a station on the moon or mars. I wonder how the astrologers will spin it? Oh sure the constellations are the same but you'll have things like "You were born a taurus with the earth in Pisces..."
I'm sure that more than a few of us were conceived in a Taurus.
Seen the pictures from Pioneer and Magellan, Ms. Hatoyama? Venus ain't green. And I'm sure you can afford the requisite medication for your schizo-affective disorder, though it's doubtful you would take it. Happy traveling!
See what dropping the acid will do to you?
I blame Yoko Ono.
Didn't Mary Todd Lincoln talk to ghosts and Nancy Reagan use an astrologer? As long as it doesn't affect her husband's ability to govern, it should be viewed as an interesting side show. She's no more delusional than the pundits on Fox News and they represent themselves as factual.
Glenn Beck is delusional. Seriously.
"L ucy in the S ky, with D iamonds."
ever since doc posted the beatles singing Revolution, we seem to be referring more and more to them...
If she saw green, she wasn't on Venus. At least from what I've heard.
Maybe it was some distant marijuana field.
She is an entertaining addition to a global collection of nutty politicians and their spouses.
Last night I took a trip in a box and wound up on Saturn.
It was real pretty.
All them rings.
No take-out though.
uh oh. They are sending a message to the GOP telling them that they 'get' where they are coming from (which is obviously somewhere around Venus). I hope the progressives in Japan have picked up on this code and watch this new government very closely.
She sounds like my last girlfriend...
I think CLSA should invite her to speak at their Hong Kong conference. I think she'd make a lot more sense than Sister Sarah.
Visiting Venus would be like sitting at the bottom of an ocean of acid.
I'm sure acid is how she got to Venus in the first place!
My best friend, also Japanese, is similarly batty; it's a very odd combination - extremely down to earth on many aspects, including work, but with this "alternative" edge, if you like. Tarots, horoscopes, tea leaves, earth coordinates. angels, shells, coins - you name it - everything is mixed together into a mystic cauldron for the most prosaic of events and is supposed to give us a "sign". My son calls her the "weird one" and she just laughs it off.
One gets used to it, though...after a while.
Miyuki rode to Venus once.
Sarah speaks in tongues to Jesus ALL the time.
Who's nuttier?
I'll have to get back to you on that,
Charlie..
OH NO!!!!! NOT ANOTHER TEABEGGER! Sounds wacked out like them, doesn't she. Could she be related to the congresswoman from Minnesota -- Michele Bachmann?
I think Michele B. is her aunt
Maybe she just went to Vegas instead.
Easy mistake.
Oh Boy ! I hope the translator screwed up and it really WAS Vegas. (Vegas is not that far from Area 51, where her alien husband came from)
All righty then. Thanks for sharing that bit of information with us Miyuki. Please let us know when you are going again - maybe we can send along a few people with you.
The Japanese have a very quirky sense of humor. Ever catch any of their TV shows on YouTube? Just don't take everything you hear from them literally... I seriously doubt she's a mental case.
Except that there is no liquid water on Venus, only water vapor, the surface temperature is about 873 degrees Fahrenheit (250 degrees hotter than needed to melt lead) and the atmospheric surface pressure is about the same as being 3,000 feet under water on Earth. Oh well.
Not to mention that the atmosphere constantly rains sulfuric acid.
Sounds like an ideal place for the 2012 Republican Convention.
heh heh
Wow! Sounds like Bush and Palin talking with (not to) God
Uncanny similarity. Equally whacked.
When we went to Venus, she sat in the window seat next to me and hogged all the snacks
Is Sarah Palin going to stop by for a visit when she's in Asia? What is it lately about politicians and nutty?
The sane ones are quietly taking a few steps back and leaving the nutcases front and center.
Japan's New First Lady Says She Rode A UFO To Venus And Had A Happy Ending
Just an alternate headline for doc's blog today.
Ooooookaaaaaaaayyyyyyy. . . . .
Paris Hilton commented on this story: "That's hot."
Venus? Extremely!
I want her drugs!
I don't care if they curdle my liver like a slug in salt! I've want to get that high, to the tune of RHCP: "Subway to Venus" !
Once you read any of doc's blogs....
you can't un-read them.
ever read doc's blog intro?
this part: "By reading this, you have given me brief control of your mind...."
I've heard that if Sarah Palin doesn't run for president in 2012 that the GOP will get Miyuki Hatoyama to run instead...
Our last President had an imaginary friend who told him to invade Iraq. At least hers don't tell her to hurt anyone.
Cheney's imaginary? Whew. That's a relief!
Well it was either his imaginary friend or Jeff Gannon.
I always picture W asking himself "what would Jeff do?"
sorry but it was that cheney dude all the way, he was the running the country ya know.......
Nancy Reagan?
She was obviously mistaken about the location being Venus.
There's nothing green about Venus, the atmosphere is hostile to life and the atmospheric pressure will crush a spacecraft in seconds. Then there is the extremely high temperature.
She was probably taken to Zeta 2 Reticuli. I hear it's pretty nice there.
Alien abductors are known to trick their captives. Who knows where they really took her? At least they brought her back.
These people got nuked...
radioactivity must still be fucking their heads up :)
I thought I saw her there...
I did too.
I took two helpings of her soul.
Must've been good if you went back for seconds.
On Fox News today, Glenn Beck stated that he happens to know that this is a true story because he was piloting the space ship.
Bless the Hatoyama's little hearts. I'll bet the citizens didn't know about the first lady's little alien trip BEFORE they voted for her and her husband.
let them know that your unstable from the gate huh? nice real nice.
Is there an Appalachian trail on Venus?
The First Lady of Japan is Empress Michiko Shoda.
The Prime Minister's wife is just the Prime Minister's wife.
Ahhhhhhhhhhh so....
I bet she always has something interesting, different, and slightly wild on her mind.
Isn't that better than an absent minded person just wandering life wondering what life is or means?
And she can no doubt see Alaska from her backyard, too.
I can see Venus from my back yard, but then I own a good telescope.
Wow - Japan has Republicans too? Who knew....
Actually, Hatoyama's party, the Democratic Party of Japan, beat the Liberal Democratic Party.
We should take a clue from Japan, eliminate repubs, and just have a few democratic parties run against each other. That way, whoever wins will be a democrat. Problem solved. Next?
Come on. I mean seriously, who hasn't been on a spaceship ride to Venus and back? That is so "been there, done that, got the Venus t-shirt"....
It's fine to take ride in a UFO to Venus as long as you consult your astrologer to determine the best day to go.
Sincerely,
Nancy Reagan
I believe her...the truth is out there...
The truth is Way out there, and only exists on 'I want to believe' re-runs of the X-Files.
Some of you are being so unfair!
Maybe she just likes warm weather.
A 900-degree day and crushing atmosphere of sulfuric acid can be so relaxing.
It's just like a day at the Klingon Spa.
Did the Venusians ask to see her birth certificate?
I wonder if she also built a Devil's Tower in her living room..
...out of mashed potatoes.
Sarah Palin - Asian Style !
I don't think she shot at anything while she was flying.
I believe the whole "ethereal out-of-body soul traveling to Venus on a triangle shaped UFO" bit, but there's no way on God's green earth that she was a stylist.
How about exchanging US nutcases for Japanese ones? Southern GOP needs updating its nutcase skills.
I don't see what the big deal is. After all, women ARE from Venus, we guys are from Mars. Or so they say...
She must have been there on a different weekend than I was.
I checked all my photos and I couldn't find her in any of them.
I would be much more concerned if she said she had been taken to Mars. We have been there with Japan.
But give the uninformed crap a rest, she is not the Prime Minister. Her husband was elected to end about 54 years of a single governing party. Can any of you spell complacency and corruption?
I'm ok with a trip to Venus, as long as it is not on taxpayers' money.
Previous leaders worshiped war shrines dedicated to the war criminals, who participated in the Rape of Nanking and horrific acts against humanity, all over Asia.
They were much worse than the Nazis; never held accountable. Those still alive are very very old and still insist they were "right".
She said that her SOUL went to Venus in a DREAM. It's a long way from there to cuckoo-land. She might be in eccentricville, but that's O.K. There's plenty of nice folks there.
I believe her. We all have the ability to astral travel! I have!!!
I want her drugs, and the ones the madman in the video has.
Why are so many Americans just plain dumb ? No one has heard of astral projection ? To deny the invisible and to deny what cannot be explained in a soundbite is to deny all that is most vital to our lives - love, music, happiness, a higher being.
Just a hop and a skip, galaxy travel wise.
Not much atmosphere, tho.
I agree...if by "not much" you mean 92 times that of the Earth at the surface.
If that women was an American First Lady her husband would never get reelected but this is not weird in Japan, nothing is.
How on earth did Sarah Palin become the first lady of Japan?
Well, she was going to Asia, and one thing led to another.....
Post a Comment