With unprecedented crises engulfing the world, millions of television viewers are finding the news too stressful to watch – and are turning to the Fox News Channel instead.
“Things are so bad in the world right now, many people are afraid to watch the news,” says psychologist Davis Logsdon, who studies the relationship between news consumption and stress at the University of Minnesota. “For them, Fox News represents a welcome break from reality.”
Tracy Klugian, 37, a systems analyst from Lansing, Michigan, said that he was flipping the channels to find “anything but news” and found himself watching Fox for the first time.
“They had this guy on – something Beck I think his name was – and he was just going on and on, making stuff up,” he said. “I was like, this is the kind of mindless junk I need right now.”
Mr. Klugian says he now records the program and watches it every day when he gets home for work: “For one hour at least, I know that I can kick back and not hear anything that’s going on in the world.”
He said that watching Fox had also introduced him to “my favorite new comedian – this hysterical woman named Michele Bachmann.”
“She was doing this bit about how the American Revolution started in New Hampshire, not Massachusetts, and then she started mixing up where Lexington and Concord were,” he said. “Okay, I know it sounds really stupid, but I almost peed myself.”
Elsewhere, Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker said he is not worried how history will remember him “because if I have my way, there won’t be any history teachers.”
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199 comments:
Michele Bachmann on the Ivory Coast: "They are both excellent soaps. What's the problem?"
Unfortunately, she really said this: "If we took away the minimum wage — if conceivably it was gone — we could potentially virtually wipe out unemployment completely because we would be able to offer jobs at whatever level."
She goes right past Palin dumb all the way to crazy!
"And what a bizarre time we're in, when a judge will say to little children that you can't say the pledge of allegiance, but you must learn that homosexuality is normal and you should try it."
Is she the 1st mentally handicapped person elected to Congress? If so good on you Minnesota, way to get everyone involved in the political process.
I love Michele Bachmann, but I feel so sorry for the people she represents. How is it that she is continually re-elected? Are all the Republicans in her district too afraid of her to challenge her for the nomination? p.s. I only love her the way I do Palin, for the theater she provides.
Michele Bachmann: "I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out under another, then under another Democrat president, Jimmy Carter. I'm not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it's an interesting coincidence."
The woman is an idiot...she was home schooled. She thinks the founding fathers were for abolishing slavery.... James Madison would have been very surprised. The woman is an idiot. I really hope she does run for President.
Another actual quote - "I don't know where they're going to get all this money because we're running out of rich people in this country."
For tons of Bachmann crazy, go here:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/the-ultimate-collection-of-stupid-michele-bachmann
Wow! Never thought I'd see the day where Sarah Palin isn't the biggest female laughingstock in politics. This chic is truly delusional, says the most outlandish, inaccurate statements I've heard from a potential candidate. You almost feel sorry for people like Christine O'Donnell, who at least seems likeable albeit quirky and aloof. But Bachmann doesn't come off as naive and simple-minded, she's just megalomanial!
Can you imagine her gridlocked in a debate with President Obama? I would pay to see that massacre.
She's living proof of not-so-intelligent design.
It seems that Ms. Bachmann may be carrying more than the usual 1-4% of Neanderthal DNA...
Is this woman crazy? Is she really for real?
Either crazy or a better actor than Charlie Sheen.
"Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn't even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas." - Bachmann
What a fucktard.
"Normalization (of gayness) through desensitization. Very effective way to do this with a bunch of second graders, is take a picture of 'The Lion King' for instance, and a teacher might say, 'Do you know that the music for this movie was written by a gay man?' The message is: I'm better at what I do, because I'm gay." Michele 'Bonkers' Bachmann
It is such a shame that every time I sit down at my piano to write music, society reminds me that I'm not gay, and you have to be gay to write music. Thanks a lot society!
I believe this woman is a dumbagogue.
And I'm agog anticipating this demi-loaf's next half-baked, nut-filled utterance!
Your satire on the Fox audience is dead on, doc, but people are really responding to the fact that Bachmann is actually going to run for president, which is fucking scary! Why is it that the GOP cannot come up with a single sane candidate of either gender?
It's a definitional thing. It's part of their litmus test.
Not a single sane or educated person of either gender would identify themselves as a member of the GOP. Their motto: "Don't confuse my mind (either cell) with the facts"!
Oh yeah, she's ready to be President.
The craziest Michele Bachmann quote is: "Hi. I'm Michele Bachmann. I'm thinking of running for President."
mindless narcissist
I think "psychopath" is the more accurate clinical diagnosis.
Well, I gotta say she ain't no Einstein. And she has a bat in her belfry.
That sir, is animal abuse.
I do hope she runs. Watching her come up with these looney statements is so much fun. Could you see her in a real debate? How entertaining would that be. Then every time she made a loon statement we could just call it a Bachmann and have a drink.
In a sane world, she'd be in a rubber room where she could not harm herself or others.
In this world, there are actually people who vote for looney tunes like her.
I'm starting to feel like Inspector Drefuss to this woman's Clouseau. Every time she opens her mouth, my face starts to twitch and my body temperature rises. If it weren't funny, it would be phenomenally dangerous.
But she IS dangerous, along with all the repub teapartiers that have been elected to congress... Fox Noise watchers have been brainwashed with constant Glenn Beck craziness, Bachmann/Palin/O'Donnell craziness, O'Reilly craziness, etc., in effect making practically ALL GOPers crazy. They BELIEVE this shit. And they've obstructed Pres Obama's rational ideas from the get-go with their crazy irrational shouts of "NO"
Got THAT right.
Hear hear!
Rant on, Tommy! Love it.
You've inspired me to rant, Tommy. Obama can't do anything right with these people, so he shouldn't try.
Look at his travel. When he goes anywhere, these people break out calculators to tell us how much this trip costs. These accountants never figured out the cost to travel to ranches in Crawford, but now they're alert.
So, if he travels, that's bad. Bad to spend money with so many Americans unemployed (however that logic works!)
You know what though? If he stayed in DC, they would have another story. The story would become how he cannot relate to real Americans, but just stays in the Beltway, where he is comfortable.
See how that works?
We just saw this thinking in action in Libya. When we didn't go in, they had a problem with it.
When we went in, they had a problem with it.
I recall listening to Bob Grant on NY radio for years, as he signed off he would say "Your influence counts! Use it!....Get Gadaffi!"
Bob's retired now, but was an iconic talk show host when Limbaugh was sucking cotton candy.
Now someone's actually trying to "get Gadaffi", and they all have a problem with that!
Exactly....their position is always to be directly opposite of whatever Obama does. Allows them to not have to do any of their own thinking. Which they can't do very well anyway.
Bachmann, Palin, O'Donnell, Angle, Brewer, Foxx, Coulter et al... embarassments to women.
Oy, it's not about them being women! It's about making sense or not! (Let me bow to the writers of The West Wing here.) It's about smart and not. It's about engaged and not.
I am a woman and I am happy that women have made such strides towards equality in the last century. But these loonies are not doing any harm to the image of women in general. They are only making fools of themselves.
I expect the leaders elected by the people to work in the best interests of the people they represent. Bachmann, Palin, O'Donnell, Angle and all the others looped into the same corral---they are not harming women. They are harming EVERYONE!
That's why I laugh at them, that's why I vote against them, that's why I donate to their opponents.
But why is it that so many people say that they are embarrassing to women? They are an embarrassment to ALL people!
Dubya Bush said the same kinds of loony things and nobody ever said that he was an embarrassment to men. He humiliated all of us, made himself a laughingstock all over the world, unfortunately giving the impression all over the world that HE represented the views of all Americans. Nobody ever said that men shouldn't be in positions of leadership. They said that HE shouldn't.
Let me amend my previous statement: Bachmann, Palin, O'Donnell, Angle, Brewer, Foxx, Coulter et al... embarassments to humanity and America.
Much better :)
Hey doc, you probably did a good thing closing comments on your March Madness blog. Had Arizona won today, I would have gone around Tucson flipping cars over, but since they lost, I'm going around Tucson flipping cars over.
Yeah, UConn just beat AZ's ass. Sorry, but yay!
Yeah, UConn just beat AZ's ass. Sorry, but yay!
65-63, that was a close one. OK, enough basketball. We've got enough March Madness with Michele Bachmann.
Doc's satire today was about watching Fox News to get away from actual news, pretty funny, but I'll never watch Fox News because I'm afraid all the rightwing propaganda might actually brainwash me like it does to its regular viewers. Creeps me out.
I think I figured it out - Michele Bachmann is the GOP's way of trying to make Sarah Palin look smart.
BuzzFeed has 31 of Michele Bachmann’s more memorable quotes. We already knew she was a ditz but there’s something unsettling about seeing her zaniness bundled up in a package, especially with the knowledge that Michele Bachmann is a Republican member of the House Intelligence Committee. Republicans chose Bachmann to be a member of the House Intelligence Committee so she could use her own highly developed intellect to keep you safe from the evil forces that wish to do harm to the United States of America. Isn’t that reassuring? And they say Republicans don’t have your best interests at heart.
Doc also mentioned Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker. Any thoughts?
Yeah, that whole union-busting thing out there. This is new:
An Indiana deputy prosecutor and Republican activist resigned Thursday over an e-mail in which he suggested faking an attack on Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker to make pro-union protestors look violent.
http://www.leadertelegram.com/news/daily_updates/article_843ffc3e-565f-11e0-bd67-001cc4c03286.html
I find the saddest part of this entire article is that it doesn't even surprise me anymore. I see the republican party as being desperate. The tea party is splitting them right down the middle and they know they will not survive, so resort to tactics, or suggesting tactics like this to win their argument. Their party has become a joke, albeit a sick joke, a joke just the same.
It's a fact that a GOP deputy prosecutor suggested false flag operations to sway public opinion in favor of Walker and his union-busting bill.
Not only that, but it's also a fact that team Walker also considered planting agitators in the crowds! We can also add the fact... yes FACT that another Indiana GOP Deputy Attorney General named Jeff Cox stepped down after 'tweeting' protesters should be dealt with using 'live ammunition.'
WOW. At what point did Wisconsin become the middle east?
This kind of activity is typical of the republican-corporate power structure currently in place in Wisconsin today. One of the best and quickest actions that can be taken by those live there and who oppose this in Wisconsin is to vote on April 5 and remove the corporate delegate, David Prosser, from the Supreme Court of Wisconsin.
Typical repug last ditch effort to save a sinking ship. The recall of scarwalker IS happening so expect more of these false flags to go up from the repugs. 280 days before the ship goes down and they send squatwalker packing, tic-toc-tic-toc.
The "dominoes" are falling. Just not quite the direction old Scotty Walker expected...Recall the GovernError!
Republicans will do nearly anything to win regardless of the injustice or harm caused to other people, much like corporations and sociopaths. All three seem to have a deficiency of empathy.
Indiana Deputy Prosecutor Carlos Lam to Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker:
"I think that the situation in Wisconsin presents a good opportunity for what's called a 'False Flag' operation. If you could employ an associate who pretends to be sympathetic to the unions' cause to physically attack you (or even use a firearm against you), you could discredit the public unions."
aaaaand.......he's resigned.
Isn't that what Fox "News" already does for the GOP 24/7: False flag journalism?
Brilliant, doc. Fox News, Beck, Bachmann, and Gov. Walker, all skewered in one satiric blog. Love your work.
PS - for anyone who still follows March Madness (it's cool you closed comments on that doc, we get it) VCU vs Kansas started 4 minutes ago, and Kentucky vs N Carolina starts at 5:05
There's enough Madness this March without adding college basketball to the mix. That's why doc satirized Fox news as a better alternative to real news of any kind LMFAO
That 'false flag operation'...isn't soliciting violence over state lines a federal crime?
Punishable by resigning, apparently.
Even though the state is supposedly broke, top officials in Gov. Scott Walker's team were able to scrape together enough money to give a state job to the woman identified as Sen. Randy Hopper's girlfriend.
Anything for a political ally.
And we thought Chicago was corrupt!
http://www.jsonline.com/news/statepolitics/118341669.html
Republicans used to trick Americans into supporting economic policies that have their worst interests at heart by raising the terrorism threat level or inflaming homo hatred. But that’s so Bush era.
Today’s economic elites have found a new scapegoat in their war for every last dollar that America produces: school teachers.
According to Gov. Scott Walker and his fellow Republican corporate shills, public school teachers are lazy, incompetent and shockingly well paid. They work part-time for nine months, then take off the summer to enjoy fabulous vacations on your hard-earned tax dollars.
Of course, this is all an utter fabrication, as anyone who knows a school teacher can attest.
It’s true that many public school teachers today, unlike a generation ago, earn livable wages and enjoy good benefits. Such benefits were standard for most Americans back when the middle class was strong, before greed-driven corporate policies widened the gap between the nation’s haves and have-nots into a shocking chasm.
But it’s tragic that Walker et al are able to fuel middle class resentment of teachers’ modest benefits. Instead of resenting those benefits, people should ask why they’re not getting them too, as their parents did.
Paper calls for Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker to resign, citing a history of unethical behavior that began in college. WisconsinGazette.com
How does someone w/a background like this get elected! It always amazes me! Like Rick Scott (FL) and who knows how many others! Why didn't all this come out before election? Somebody slipped up somewhere and it was a very costly mistake!
I think mentioning he dropped out of college under those circumstances was to show a pattern of behavior. If he was expelled due to cheating, he would have been suspended for 2 or 3 semesters and could come back IF he admitted his mistake. This guy doesn't strike me as one who admits his mistakes. Even now if he said that he made a mistake on how he went about the budget and he will work with the legislature to heal the rifts that have developed, many would forgive him.
Not sure if it came out during the elections but Walker did the same thing as a county commissioner (was that his previous position). He overreached and fired the unionized public safety officers and hired a private contractor. The contractor cost more than he said and following a lawsuit the safety officers got their jobs with backpay. Now Milwaukee County has twice as many safety officers. That must be a drain on their budget.
I am noticing that these Republican politicians in particular are passing laws that they know will be overturned in court, but once the legal mess is untangled they have moved on to another officer or have become a lobbyist leaving the financial matters for someone else to clean up. And leaving their donors or political contributors with fat contracts that the court will not break as in the case of Milwaukee County. So it's a win/win for them and their friends.
...No offense but if the guy was known for unethical behavior in college wouldn't that have been reason enough NOT TO VOTE FOR HIM?
Why don't people pay attention to who the hell they're voting for? I mean, wouldn't that solve most of the problems we're having right now?
"Hey, instead of voting for idiot A or idiot B, why can't I look around for a lesser known but ethical/responsible candidate who will serve the interests of the people?"
"Nah, I'll just vote for whoever Fox News tells me to."
People never listen when I tell them that the "(R)" next to a candidate's name is a warning sign.
VCU just beat Kansas. Really unexpected, they were 11th seed.
Score now: Kentucky 38, N Carolina 30, first half.
anyway, Michele Bachmann is a crazy fucking idiot, am I right?
Kentucky wins! WTF! OK, so now we have the final four playing in Houston on April 2nd --- VCU vs Butler @ 6:05 and Kentucky vs UConn @ 8:49.
Anyway, Michele Bachmann is a crazy fucking idiot, you're right.
Quick! Wondering if you know who George Bernard Shaw might have been talking about when he said: "The problem with her is that she lacks the power of conversation, but not the power of speech."
Think maybe he saw Bachmann in one of her interviews?
Maybe in one of his nightmares he did...
Either that or he saw her in a previous life
Yeah, because they didn't have time machines back in his day the way we do now.
MICHELE THE MALICIOUS PROPOSES RAISING TAXES ON SINGLE MOTHERS.
Rep. Bachmann (R-Minn) proposes tax code to promote 'family formation' (Video)
www.examiner.com
Say it isn't so!! What a ridiculous, horrid bigot of a woman!
This sounds like another example of a so-called Christian doing exactly the opposite of what Jesus taught.
This from the woman who gets pissed when the government wants her to buy CFL bulbs. THAT'S an intrusive hardship, but this isn't? I say we tax uber-"Christian" families who believe it is their sole responsibility to populate the earth and have more than one child. Aren't they the ones using up all our resources?
She claims that she represents less government interference in the daily lives of citizens, yet she seems to want to regulate every function of the body, mind and soul... Do republicans and 'baggers really want this wingnut as their leadership??? really??? Dems, get off your butts this time, look at what's possible here, inform yourselves...and VOTE!
More evidence indicating the Republican Party's insidious war against women...Michele is one of two token far right conservative women which the party of No trots out to validate their boy's club agenda, unfortunately, these two women are the most stupid of my species...I can only hope that Palin or Bachmann win the Republican nomination, paving the way for those of us who are "elitist intellectuals" (loosely defined, we don't breathe through our mouths) to sweep the 2012 elections...in the wake of the debacle created by the governor of Wisconsin, along with all the other batshit crazy tea bagger plans, Bachmann and Palin would be my Progressive dream team...
This woman needs to be the GOP standard bearer in 2012. Please Michele? With Sarah Palin it could be the new BP ticket with a motto' Bringing toxic sludge out of the gulf and into Middle America!"
You really want her nominated? Please, no, there is too big of chance she will win. I'd like to think that she would get laughed off the stage, but I don't think so, I just don't trust the American People at this point to see through her talk. She scares the crap out of me. I don't think the Dems will sweep the election if she wins, I fear the opposite will happen.
Typical Bachmann. Conservatives picking on single mothers, minorities, the indigent, etc. These morons aren't bright enough to come up with intelligent solutions to our country's problems. They just keep going after the low hanging fruit.
Seriously, doesn't she understand that with this proposal, she would be encouraging single women to get abortions, something she and her right-wing Tea Bagging cohorts abhor?
Please, oh please, run Michele. Bring Caribou Barbie along for the ride, too. The ticket will be known as: Dumb and Dumber.
Bachmann is mainly for people who think Palin is too sophisticated.
Bachmann panders to the fringe. At least she knows where she's welcome.
oh! and how about the quote where she says carbon dioxide is not dangerous... how about putting her in a room with just CO2 and see how long she lasts... i blame it on the parents! hope they never had another!
when she starts her "rolling blunder" red, white and blue bus-trips around these corporate states of amerika, puncture the freakin tires. no nazis in 2012, no nazis in 2012, no nazis in 2012!
She makes me miss the reality of "My Mother The Car".
Who said there was 57 States? I forget - was it Palin or Bachmann?
That was Palin. She posted a message on facebook wishing a happy thanksgiving to the 57 States.
Unencumbered by the thought process.
I don't think Bachmann should make any statements on American history AT ALL. She manages to get EVERY historical "fact" she mentions WRONG, including placing those Revolutionary War towns she mentioned in New Hampshire, instead of Massachusetts, where they actually occurred. I can't imagine anyone taking a woman with such a dismal record on American history seriously as a candidate for POTUS.
I'm not American but I do follow US politics. It's so hard for me to understand why in one of the most advanced country in the world, a country branded as the land of the "free", there exist people like this woman and her "likes". I have not heard one informative quote from them regarding foreign policy or even the state of your nation. If she gets elected, God forbid, Good Luck America!
The really scary thing -- I've seen some of her opinions posted, in all seriousness, by friends and relatives on Facebook. There are people who honestly DO believe that federal judges have banned the Pledge of Allegiance in schools (because of the "under God bit") and at the same time have mandated that grade schoolers be taught the mechanics of gay sex. They actually, truly believe this to be so. My question is WHY do they WANT to believe this so badly? What is it about them or our times that makes it so easy to ignore reality and hold fast to a hateful lie?
Seriously, there are people who believe this crap? As a non-American and student of world politics, I always admired America, what it stands for, the liberal, progressive, "freedom" ideas. You guys invented those concepts! And to hear this comments regarding people what this woman says, its like someone turned back time, back to the Medieval Ages! lol
I saw Republican women applaud when Rep. Steve King said he was against children receiving a "non-sexist" education. What can be done with people such as these?
Why does MN keep voting her in? She is a total embarrassment to the state and to our Nation. She is a million times worse than Palin ever was.
underinformed/misinformed/deceived/apathetic voters?
Being from MN, I am a bit shocked that she was re-elected. She says things that are just insane. She once said that there would be no unemployment if the minimum wage law was repealed. Her logic being that people would take a $2 an hour job if it was available. Who the hell can live off of that?
Plus, when visiting MN over the holidays, we ventured through a Walmart for a last minute gift, I am sad to report that I may have found her voting base. It kills me to say this, but some of the folks there looked as if they could barely dress themselves. Mouths agape and the whole bit. I was honestly shocked and saddened to see this.
Meanwhile, several prominent Republicans voiced criticism of President Obama’s Libya policy, including former President George W. Bush, who urged Mr. Obama to define the mission: “That way, you can hang up a really cool banner once it’s accomplished.”
LOL!
Whoa! That video wasn't up Saturday. Good find, doc LMFAO!!!
It wasn't up Sunday or Monday either, so just put up today. I'm pretty sure that's Sara Benincasa, who did a whole series of Sarah Palin YouTube videos back in '08. Tina Fey eat your heart out.
Michelle Bachmann is a product of three generations of inbreeding.
Michele, can you name one, just ONE, of the signers of either the Declaration of Independence or the Constitution who "worked tirelessly" until the Emancipation Proclamation was issued?
And this woman thinks she is qualified to be president of the United States? God help us.
Palin/Bachmann for Mordor 2012
Bachmann-Snooki in 2012!
In a sane world, she'd be in a rubber room where she could not harm herself or others.
In this world, there are actually people who vote for looney tunes like her.
I think Michele should set the goal posts extremely high for herself and aspire towards mediocrity for the rest of the year.
Doc mentions Beck also in his blog... so who's crazier, Beck or Bachmann?
It's a tie. I don't think Beck is crazy enough to run for president though.
She's like Typhoid Mary infecting people with her mental retardation
Move over Sara, the left has found their new woman to bully and try to destroy. They no longer see Sara as a threat. But they see Michelle as a rising star which needs to be smothered
1) You spelled their names wrong: it's Sarah and Michele.
2) Rising star? Please. Flickering firefly at best. No smothering required. Minor league moth.
She is a star of minus gazillion magnitude. An already washed up, dead star.
Sorry, she's a freaking train wreck and you're a freaking troll.
Yes, but he's OUR troll :)
Bachmann... Palin....Gingrich... Barbour.... Trump... What a bunch of schmucks! Looks like it's Mitt's to lose.
"When you got nothin', you got nothin' to lose" - B Dylan
Can we share a bunch of the old classic blond jokes and just substitute Bachmann's name wherever it says blond?
Let me start: Why does Michele Bachmann salute her refrigerator every day? Because its name is General Electric.
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his neighbor Michele Bachmann came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”
To which she replied, “There certainly is!”
My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!”
Michele Bachmann had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" Michele chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" Michele began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."
Michele B. has just gotten a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does. The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around and sees she's smiling. So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car. He looks back to see that she's laughing. He's really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she's laughing so hard, she's about to fall down. He demands, "What's so funny?" She says, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!"
Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Even the phones are out.
After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight, Michele says to Sarah, "I think the best way to call for help is by yelling together."
Sarah agrees, so they both inhale deeply and begin to yell loudly: "Together! Together! Together!"
There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.
If you told a lie it would suck you in.
One day Sarah Palin walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.
Then the next day Michele Bachmann walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.
Michele Bachmann went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked her if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.
"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"
Q: How do you make Michele Bachmann's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in her ear.
Q: What do Michele Bachmann and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Q: Why is Michele Bachmann's brain the size of a pea in the morning?
A: It swells at night.
Those were good. Now behave yourselves LOL.
Things which are smarter than Michelle Bachmann:
1. Mold
2. Ice
3. Cockroaches
4. Hamsters
5. Eels
6. Lemmings
7. Leaves
8. Emus
9. Bread
10. Ants
11. Colanders
12. Hockey pucks
13. Mice
14. Apples
15. Newts (both kinds)
16. Nachos
17. Colostomy bags
18. Squirrels
19. Acorns
20. Fish
21. Umbrellas
22. Clams
23. Kumquats
24. Iguanas
25. Nickels
26. Grease
27. Mice
28. Olives
29. Raisins
30. Opossums
31. Nails
This list is by no means exhaustive, but it is representative in its own special way.
32. Rocks
There really are people who actually think she could run for President. The patients have taken over the asylum.
'people who actually think'? Doubtful.
Ignorance is dangerous. Bachmann is the nuclear bomb of stupid.
The republicans would never elect her. She's stupid and she has no idea what she's talking about.... never mind, I just remembered that those are both requirements to be on the republican ballot.
Minnesota did not elect her, the sixth congressional district of Minnesota elected her. She knows for a fact that she would get creamed in a state-wide election, that's why you are not hearing about her possibly running against Klobechar for the Senate.
Keep in mind she is elected by three groups: Christian conservatives, fiscal conservatives and middle aged men who like to look at her. Most of the money she raised came from out of state last election, her opponent raised most of her money from outside her district. Believe me most of the people in the 7 other congressional districts in the state are embarrassed by her and would love to see her disappear.
Michele Bachmann adheres to a religious theology that tells her that she isn't adequate to hold office. Bachmann doesn't believe in the separation of church and state, uses her office to fight against that First Amendment right, a blatant contradiction to an oath she made to uphold the Constitution. Being a serious Tea Party member, a group that likens it's political position to that of the founding fathers, Bachmann isn't knowledgable about history on a grade school level. These aren't behaviors of a serious presidential candidate, are they? Oh, and she's also a birther.
She home-schools her kids too, which is kind of like passing stupid down as an heirloom
"OK kids, today we will learn about the American Revolution, which was fought in the 13th century against our oppressive Hottentot masters. George Washington won the war singlehandedly when he slew the great Hottentot leader, Fred Mertz, with nothing but an oatmeal spoon."
Bachmann's worst statement was blaming the Great Depression on the Democrats because of the Hoot-Smalley Tariff Act which she said was signed into law by Roosevelt. It was the Hawley-Smoot Tariff Act and Hawley was a Republican Rep from Oregon and Smoot was a Republican Senator from Utah and it was signed into law by Hoover in 1930 and it did worsen the depression worldwide. Republican idea.
I am so hoping for a Bachmann/Palin ticket, it would guarantee Obama a 2nd term. Talk about motivating the Liberal base, that ticket would scare the bejesus out of anyone that didn't drop out of middle school.
My very autistic cousin was watching TV with us and she came on the news. He turns to us and says, "That lady's eyes aren't right."
We watched a news segment on her the other night and my 5th grade daughter asked me if "that lady" was crazy. :)
There is a sign of hope. A tea party convention in Tampa, Florida over the weekend that featured 25 tea party favorites (including Ron Paul and Tom Tancredo) had a turnout of only 300 people.
My daughter waitresses to pay for school (she's a Dem too - imagine that!) and was serving at a teaparty meeting. She said it was so vile that even some of the attendees walked out. So the repubs are being co-opted by the baggers and now within the baggers there is yet an even crazier faction that are co-opting them. It's like a reverse food chain.
She also stated that companies are taxed on gross sales. She is supposed to be a tax lawyer! I would not let her near my tax forms.
A tax lawyer as Bachmann claims to be really should know that companies are taxed on profit not gross sales. Kind of basic.
That she was ever elected is a testament to the extreme lack of judgment and intellectual functioning in an unfortunately large part of her constituency.
It pains me to say this but I'm afraid it's true. Michelle Bachmann is actually more extremist, paranoid, and dangerous than Sarah Palin.
Ultimately Palin was mostly ego. Her willingness to serve her corporate bosses was just her way of getting on the gravy train. She put her own mean girl spin on the established talking points in service of that end.
Bachmann, on the other hand, pulls many of her opinions and talking points from her own fevered imagination and they are frequently scarier than anything Palin ever said.
At a 2005 protest of her proposed constitutional ban of same-sex marriage, Bachmann and her cronies were actually seen hiding in the bushes, spying on the rally. When reached for comment regarding the incident, Bachmann complained that her feet were sore, saying, "I had high heels on and I just couldn't stand anymore. I was not in the bushes." The last part is true, as she was hiding behind the bushes. Getting in them would just be insane. Bachmann later acknowledged that she was spying on the rally, but only because she heard a "dirty rumor that they may screen 'Aladdin,' and 'Aladdin' can't get any gayer."
I have seen Michele Bachmann in an organized political debate. It was like sitting in a restaurant with the Dalai Lama explaining the meaning of life while some woman was screaming at her kids on a cell phone at the next table.
She panders to her base. Someone should tell her that 3rd graders can't vote.
I would like to point out that everything about her body language shows someone in an aggressive "fight or flight" pose, with a large measure of disgust and hostile attitude. This 'woman' is fearful, hostile, and full of hate. It shows plain on her face, and in her gestures.
Then you hear what comes out of her mouth, and you know you're dealing with a whole lot of crazy. When you have someone this cowardly, angry and crazy in a seat of power, then you're dealing with someone who's dangerous. She's going to get people hurt, if she hasn't already.
And to think, this lady homeschooled her children. She's so ignorant of so many things. I feel bad/sad for her kids.
Where do they find these women? It's like dragging through a state fair beauty pageant, picking up the fifth runners up, slapping a suit on them and sticking a microphone under their noses. Boom! You've got another female Tea Party candidate.
The fundies have been doing that for about the last 10-15 years. It used to be that guests at a religious event would be female speakers/singers of all ages, weights, appearances. Now the females all look just as you described, either the former beauty pageant or ex-cheerleader types even when frankly middle-aged. It's a marketing ploy.
Well, I guess it had to happen: After making herself the spokeswoman of the Tea Party, Michele Bachmann is now leader of the House Tea Party Caucus. Days ago, she announced an exploratory group to consider running for President. Seems she’s able to run for office but NOT represent the needs of her district which leads the nation in foreclosures. Mrs. Bachmann votes against every piece of legislation that would help her people. She’s the all mouth negative voice we hear on TV railing against this and that. How is she qualified to be President? What are her POSITIVE achievements? None!!!!
Gadhafi doesn't know how to spell Bachmann
LOL Here's how his name is spelled:
Qaddafi, Muammar
Al-Gathafi, Muammar
al-Qadhafi, Muammar
Al Qathafi, Mu'ammar
Al Qathafi, Muammar
El Gaddafi, Moamar
El Kadhafi, Moammar
El Kazzafi, Moamer
El Qathafi, Mu'Ammar
Gadafi, Muammar
Gaddafi, Moamar
Gadhafi, Mo'ammar
Gathafi, Muammar
Ghadafi, Muammar
Ghaddafi, Muammar
Ghaddafy, Muammar
Gheddafi, Muammar
Gheddafi, Muhammar
Kadaffi, Momar
Kad'afi, Mu`amar al- 20
Kaddafi, Muamar
Kaddafi, Muammar
Kadhafi, Moammar
Kadhafi, Mouammar
Kazzafi, Moammar
Khadafy, Moammar
Khaddafi, Muammar
Moamar al-Gaddafi
Moamar el Gaddafi
Moamar El Kadhafi
Moamar Gaddafi
Moamer El Kazzafi
Mo'ammar el-Gadhafi
Moammar El Kadhafi
Mo'ammar Gadhafi
Moammar Kadhafi
Moammar Khadafy
Moammar Qudhafi
Mu`amar al-Kad'afi
Mu'amar al-Kadafi
Muamar Al-Kaddafi
Muamar Kaddafi
Muamer Gadafi
Muammar Al-Gathafi
Muammar al-Khaddafi
Mu'ammar al-Qadafi
Mu'ammar al-Qaddafi
Muammar al-Qadhafi
Mu'ammar al-Qadhdhafi
Mu`ammar al-Qadhdhāfī 50
Mu'ammar Al Qathafi
Muammar Al Qathafi
Muammar Gadafi
Muammar Gaddafi
Muammar Ghadafi
Muammar Ghaddafi
Muammar Ghaddafy
Muammar Gheddafi
Muammar Kaddafi
Muammar Khaddafi
Mu'ammar Qadafi
Muammar Qaddafi
Muammar Qadhafi
Mu'ammar Qadhdhafi
Muammar Quathafi
Mulazim Awwal Mu'ammar Muhammad Abu Minyar al-Qadhafi
Qadafi, Mu'ammar
Qadhafi, Muammar
Qadhdhāfī, Mu`ammar
Qathafi, Mu'Ammar el 70
Quathafi, Muammar
Qudhafi, Moammar
Moamar AI Kadafi
Maummar Gaddafi
Moamar Gadhafi
Moamer Gaddafi
Moamer Kadhafi
Moamma Gaddafi
Moammar Gaddafi
Moammar Gadhafi
Moammar Ghadafi
Moammar Khadaffy
Moammar Khaddafi
Moammar el Gadhafi
Moammer Gaddafi
Mouammer al Gaddafi
Muamar Gaddafi
Muammar Al Ghaddafi
Muammar Al Qaddafi
Muammar Al Qaddafi
Muammar El Qaddafi
Muammar Gadaffi
Muammar Gadafy
Muammar Gaddhafi
Muammar Gadhafi
Muammar Ghadaffi
Muammar Qadthafi
Muammar al Gaddafi
Muammar el Gaddafy
Muammar el Gaddafi
Muammar el Qaddafi
Muammer Gadaffi
Muammer Gaddafi
Mummar Gaddafi
Omar Al Qathafi
Omar Mouammer Al Gaddafi
Omar Muammar Al Ghaddafi
Omar Muammar Al Qaddafi
Omar Muammar Al Qathafi
Omar Muammar Gaddafi
Omar Muammar Ghaddafi
Omar al Ghaddafi
Michele Bachmann: I Wouldn't Have Gone Into Libya
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/03/30/michele-bachmann-i-wouldn_n_842398.html
Her Highness Queen Thorazine enlightens us once more. She is so impressive, she even has a throne that flushes.
but Iraq was OK....
Of course not. But then, she'd never have been elected president, either.
Well, now I know Obama made the right decision.
...... "because I don't know where that is."
It's the same old shit, I "woulda" done whatever the opposite of what Obama did, no matter what it is. I wish he would come out and say he wouldn't eat babies, just so Palin and Bachmann would eat babies.
Michele's new Doctrine: In the future I will look towards the TV camera that has the 'red' light on!
I predict she'll be doing Sham-Wow! infomercials within five years.
I really wish she would run with Palin. It'd be like Thelma and Louise. After the car hit the ground.
If Obama hadn't gone in, she would have stated that she's unhappy that he wouldn't send support to people fighting a dictator. No matter what he did, she'd say she was on the opposite side
That's OK - I wouldn't go into her Libya either...
*snap*
Didn't we hear this same bullshit from Palin just the other day? OMG, they would be against Obama if he discovered the cure for cancer, it doesn't matter what he does.
Why don't we save air time by posting what they agree with Obama on, then we'll never have to see or hear from them since all they ever have is criticism.....Their minds are still stuck in the third grade.
M. Bachmann: "Obama doesn't have a medical license. He shouldn't be a'doctrine anybody."
Reporter: "We're talking about foreign policy."
MB: "If we can't buy insurance across state lines, he shouldn't be able to get a policy from a foreign country."
HAHAHAHA.....
She and her neocon buddies would have gone in the second their oil company patrons gave their orders - and they wouldn't have waited for any stinkin' UN resolution.
Exactly.
At the outset of the Libyan conflict repubs were screaming Obama was not moving quick enough.
These people will switch positions to whatever is opposite of the Pres. It doesn't matter what they say from one day to another. But the sad thing is that so many people can't see through their rhetoric and continue to buy their bullshit.
I believe her, "I wouldn't have gone into Libya," statement. She'd just sit back, get popcorn and watch the genocide play out. She cares nothing for Black and Brown people.
If she did care about them, her base would drop her like a hot potato.
The Bachman Doctrine:
"I would have gone into Libya and depose Qaddafi and I would have made Sarah Palin governor of Libya. As governor of our new 51st state, she would immediately grant tax breaks for reality show TV productions to promote economic recovery and re-construction. I'd never support a government made up of resistance leaders because they're all Arabs and Arabs are Muslims and Muslims are in Al Qaida. America must resist terrorists and produce bad TV shows ---- that's the American way. My doctrine is flawless because it's based on a conversation with God."
Nailed Bachmann (but your Palin is beyond hilarious)
Thankyou kind sir.
The Bachmann Doctrine is much simpler than that, adlib.
"If Obama is for it I'm against it, If Obama is against it I'm for it."
In fact that pretty much sums up the republican doctrine across the board.
Remember the big deal that Limbaugh and the rest of them all made after the election about how they wanted him to fail?
When you preface your position with a statement like that how can anyone believe anything you do is actually because you believe it's good for the country and not because it's bad for Obama.
"Bachmann says she's against giving military assistance to the rebels fighting Gadhafi, saying she fears there are al Qaida elements among their numbers."
******************************
So, does she have any evidence that there are al Qaida elements involved, or did she just want to throw out the idea that President Obama is "palling around with terrorists" again? This woman really, REALLY just grates on my nerves.
And once again the woman proves she has no place on an Intelligence Committee.
Boehner has thrown a bone to the Tea Party (as well as every comedian and satirist in the country) by naming Michelle Bachmann to the National Intelligence committee.
I can’t help but want to thank John Boehner for this gift. To be able to look forward to Fox News anchors, and pundits, introducing Michelle Bachmann as an intelligence expert, is just too good to be true. LMAO
I had to check the calendar to make sure this wasn’t April Fools Day.
Hysterical! Especially as she goes on and on about “carbon dioxide!” LOLz!!! OMG who does her research? Who writes her speeches?! A 4th grader? None of her points were factual. What a joke! How can anyone, even teagaggers, look up to this woman and appoint her to the Intelligence Committee? Aren’t they afraid she’ll let slip some vital intel? For that matter, aren’t they afraid she won’t be able to comprehend the subject matter?!
I’m sure this is the GOP leadership’s attempt to shut her up. Much of the Intelligence Committee’s work involves classified information that she’s not allowed to talk about.
Ain't nothin' like the leader of the Intelligence committee yapping out loud about the President's war policy
Yeah. I thought they were supposed to keep this stuff confidential. Guess she didn't get the memo.
Headline from an Alternate Universe where Obama didn't act on Libyan crisis:
Michele Bachmann: "I Would Have Gone Into Libya"
If Obama ordered a BLT, the GOP would try to outlaw bacon.
No, Congresswoman. Based on your keen sense of geography, you would have attacked Morocco.
Bachmann: a Woman of Mass Delusion.
Well of course this Teaparty Queen is going to be against whatever Obama does, but clearly she didn't care to watch the president's interview with Brian Williams last night where he cautioned against people trying to assign an "Obama doctrine" to this situation, because this was a very particular issue with very particular opportunities.
In other words, he did not act because of some predetermined ideology, but acted pragmatically to the particular situation. Again, she's to shallow to understand the nuance of Obama's genius.
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