Ever since Pastor Glenn Beck delivered his sermon on the Lincoln Memorial steps, I've been wondering how he and his followers can love Jesus, but hate welfare, health care and gun control. I mean, charity, healing, pacifism...that's pretty much Jesus's whole platform.
Then it hit me - the Teabaggers are talking about a different Jesus.
I mean, it was a pretty common name back then. You could walk into any crowd and be sure that you'd hear someone yelling, "Oh, Jesus!"
But this other Jesus was obviously a pretty special guy, too....
The type of guy who'd refuse to cure lepers because it was a pre-existing condition.
People would ask him for a miracle to feed a multitude, and he'd tell them to go out and work for their loaves and fishes, like he did.
He wouldn't render squat unto Caesar - he was Taxed Enough Already!
And you can bet your ass he wouldn't lie down and be crucified by a bunch of sword-grabbing Romans. Not this guy. He wants his Judea back!
So be comforted by the special wisdom to be found in the
12 Sayings of Tea Party Jesus:
1. Blessed are the rich.... for their kids shall inherit the earth, with no death tax.
2. Blessed are the warmongers.... for they shall escape investigation.
3. Whoever shall smite thee on the cheek.... turn thou to another country that had nothing to do with it, and smite them a hundredfold... and take their oil.
4. It is easier for a rich man to enter the kingdom of Heaven... for he can afford to puree a camel and force it through the eye of a needle.
5. Let him who has not yet been caught sinning in a men's room cast the first stone.
6. Ask and ye shall be given.... a lecture on why getting Unemployment doeth make ye a bunch of commies.
7. Knock and the door shall be opened.... as long as thou hast the right birth certificate.
8. Love one another.... unless thou art gay, in which case, burn in Hell, thou perv!
9. Ye hast made this place a den of thieves, but God forbid anyone should regulate it
10. Consider the lilies of the field.... they neither vote, nor own, so go ahead and strip mine that field.
11. What shall it profit a man if he gain the whole world, but lose his soul?.... Duh! His profit is the whole world!
12. All those who live by the sword.... shall die by my .44 Magnum, punk!
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199 comments:
Hilarious!
I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time! Just what I needed! Thanks, doc.
Glenn Beck and his ilk are to be congratulated on their stupidity and use of Christ as a prop.
But, count on some ignorant teabaggers like AZ INDY and awake and sing taking this seriously and believing that Jesus really did say those nasty things.
"I like your Christ. I don't like your Christians. For your Christians are so unlike your Christ." - Mahatma Gandhi
It's about time that these so-called christians' views are brought to light. Picturing their words coming out the mouth of Jesus, shows just how hypocritical they are. Doc is right: clearly teabaggers worship a different Jesus.
Great idea, doc. The smugness and self-delusion of many Christians, especially the tea party variety, is stupefying. Don't expect them to get the message, however. If they had any self-awareness, they would never have become blind hypocrites to begin with.
The tea party is rabidly right-wing, has a shaky grasp of history, is intolerant, xenophobic, and paranoid, and has an unhealthy reverence for Fox News.
Right wing conservatives, who mostly claim to be socially conservative Christians, are the most socially Darwinian people on the planet. They are completely invested in survival of the fittest capitalism.
In other news, the party that idolizes those who screw other people out of their money isn't careful when they are put in charge of other people's money.
But right wing nutjobs don't believe in Darwin.
It's amazing that a country that survived the Revolution, War of 1812, slavery and a Civil Wat, World War I and II, civil rights conflicts, internal upheaval during Vietnam, a cold war that lasted decades with the USSR, and 9/11 is looking like it's going to destroy itself because of the freaking bible thumpers wanting everyone to love their version of Jesus as much as they do.
they don't love Jesus, they just need people to think they do.
I think that was doc's point. They love a totally different Jesus from the rest of us.
Spend until there is nothing left: Check
Exhaust every resource:
Nearly there
Be saved by Jesus:
I don't think he's going to be happy with us when he gets back, so we're kinda boned
What a glorious time to be alive.
We have technology from the future AND we get to watch mankind destroy itself. In the name of God. I'm all tingly. Oh, I'll bet that's cancer.
lol?
Pissing off the mob is never a good idea. Some weird Tea Party shit went down in Tuesday's elections.
The tea baggers are morons, plain and simple. They cry for lower taxes? They're the lowest since the 1960s. They cry about decreased spending? Where were they when Bush turned a surplus into a record deficit?
The thing is the Tea Partiers are right to be pissed off. The problem is that they're pissed off at the wrong people about the wrong problems and pushing the wrong solutions.
"Small government" is code word for "by and for white men." That's what teabaggers care about. Literally everything they espouse boils down to those five words.
There is a real difference between the left, which rejects the fringe, and the right, which embraces it.
Racism may be a driving force behind the tea parties, but, if one considers the events of the Clinton years, it's hard not to conclude that had any other democrat won, the basic outline of the events of the past 1.5 years would have been essentially the same.
Conservatives view liberal and democratic election victories as inherently illegitimate. Now WHY they view them as illegitimate does have something do with race. However, don't fool yourself into believing that if Kerry had won in 2004 or Hillary in 2008 that the loons would have accepted it because the person is white.
I just can't see where they can have the clarity to recognize problems and the complete blindness when it comes to solving them.
They're only being supplied with the problems, not the solutions.
Doc got it right.. the teabaggers don't believe in the socialist Jesus (the real one) so they made him a capitalist Jesus.
I could buy a parrot and train it to say, 'tax cuts,' but at the end of the day, it's still a parrot, not a conservative.
And yet that parrot can still accurately describe 100% of the Republican's economic policy.
Fair enough. Parrots are probably more cognitively capable than most conservatives.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alex_%28parrot%29
I don't know, wouldn't it be a parrot and a republican, then?
In fact aren't most republicans basically parrots, anyway?
Limbaugh addicts call themselves "ditto-heads"....
The Tea Party is just a cover for getting a bunch of Christianist Theocrats into office. They have absolutely nothing to do with taxes or spending.
Republican TAX Cut plan:
Tax cuts for Rich
CBO estimate : 3.9 TRILLION DOLLARS 100% UNFUNDED
5x cost of Obama's Stimulus.
This is why I don't get Palin supporters. I know she agrees with them, but doesn't the fact that she can't articulate why she agrees with them bother them at all?
The KKK was a "people's movement".
The Brownshirts and Blackguards were a "people's movement".
Fascist movements start with populist sentiments.
It all leads to some poetic justice though. In the end, the people used for a populist build-up wonder why things aren't going as planned, and they're executed or imprisoned for being true believers or a threat to the real agenda behind their movement.
Let the Night of the Long Knives and Stalin's political purges be a lesson to everyone.
The Tea Party movement was tiny until Fox poured millions into advertising it and promotion.
It's pure astroturf, being fertilized by a steady stream of Fox's lies and propaganda.
What bothers me most is the huge number of Democrats and Independents that watch Fox news and are being brainwashed along with the repubs.
Next up on Fox News:
Should women be allowed to vote?
Should we execute gays?
Should we bring back Prohibition?
Was slavery as bad as The Left makes it out to be?
Montana GOP policy: Make homosexuality illegal
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_gays_in_montana
Know what they call someone in Montana who owns more than three sheep?
A Pimp
I miss the old days when Teabagger didn't refer to a political movement but to putting your balls on someone's face.
The Tea Party - thousands of hard-working middle-class FOX viewers fighting to make sure the rich pay less in taxes.
In the Delaware GOP Senate primary, Christine O' Donnell was the most recent Tea Party candidate to send a Republican favorite Mike Castle looking for a job as a Walmart greeter.
But O'Donnell, a Sarah Palin clone, is packing so much baggage the GOP establishment isn't even planning to waste any money or political spin on her at the checkout line.
The thang about the Tea Party is they say they're all about being against too much guvmint.
Too much spending.
But where was the Tea Party when one of their own goobers was doin' the spending?
Republicans had control of the Congressional purse-strings for a decade, six years of it while Dubya was squanderin' a surplus.
And then he started the first big stimulus plan, which he handed over to Obama.
All without a peep from his peeps.
The Tea Party didn't start squawkin' until the new guy with the funny name and the Hawaiian birth certificate took office.
They didn't believe America was dumb enough to elect a Muslim, I reckon.
Well by gum, now they're fired up to take America back.
Even if it means taking it back away from the rich guys who brung 'em to the dance.
lol ain't that the truth
Can I get an Amen!
The mis-led followers of Beck, Palin, etc. are being duped by wealthy industrialists who are feeding them messages of hate disguised as innocuous slogans about taking the country back and restoring freedom. This movement is more about class and race than it is about liberty.
Someday Jesus will line Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin, Christine O'Donnell and Jerry Falwell up, slap them in the face and shout, "That's not what I meant!"
Palin and O'Donnell are by any definition of the term mentally ill. You decry the death penalty for the weak-minded( and justly so), because they are not responsible for their actions...they cannot determine what is real and what is not. doesn't that fit Palin, and O'Donnell?
Go after the teabaggers who vote for them, it is very much acceptable to ask them why they back a mentally unbalanced person.
Have you seen what Bill Maher has just released from O'Donnell's appearances on his show in the late 90s? 22 weeks worth of batshit crazy - and he's going to show something weekly until she agrees to an interview!
This does not begin to touch on the depth of the bizarre things this woman has said. I see that she is being steered clear of the Sunday talk shows this week. It seems that Palin, Brewer, Angle and now O'Donnell can't be trusted to answer questions in public in real time without making fools of themselves.
Where are these Tea Party candidates/idiots getting their money from?
Good question. The Tea Party is supposed to be a grass roots movement, but these candidates are supported by many of the usual corporate donors:
http://www.sourcewatch.org/index.php?title=Tea_Party_movement_funding
My Jesus is better than your Jesus.
Face the Nation discusses Rep. DE candidate Christine O'Donnell's, dabblings in witchcraft. Yep. Her Jesus is definitely not mine.
http://bit.ly/djCMHX #p2
Story : My Ex-Gay Life With the Tea Party Queen (Christine O'Donnell)
http://shar.es/0uXh4 #votedem #p2 #tcot #gop
Surely the dems can find someone to win in Delaware in Nov. This repub teabagger is a nut who was voted for by nuts, more apparently than there are in other repub Delaware voters whose candidate lost.
This O'Donnell freak represents the "Tea Party"? What drug was in the tea voters drank in Delaware spiked with to get them to vote for this... um, let me be gentle here, fruitloop. Will nonteabagging republicans actually vote for her against whoever the democrat candidate is in Nov?
It's sad that people who have The Bible never have one that God autographed during his book tour.
These are Palingenetic times.
Fight Palingenetic Disorder. Never vote for a Republican.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palingenetic_ultranationalism
O'Donnell has never had a real job. She's been a tool of the special moneyed interests of the far right since college.
She wants to have a smaller government and "legislate morality"? She hasn't paid people who worked for her 2008 campaign but is going to bring fiscal responsibility to Washington? She doesn't believe in sex before marriage, even with yourself, but has lived "in sin" two times - including right now? This is gonna be a great Senate race to watch.
In normal times, it would be hard to believe that a religious fundamentalist like Christine O'Donnell could be a triumphant major party nominee for US senate.
"In normal times, it would be hard to believe that a religious fundamentalist like Christine O'Donnell could be a triumphant major party nominee for US senate".
Really?
Ever hear of the founding fathers?
To much Phil Donahue indoctrination.
I think you've had too much tea. Go read more.
The founding fathers were not religious fundamentalists. Were you home schooled?
guess you have never actually read any biographies of the founders--they were not religious nuts---bet you do get all your info from the lies glenn dreck spews
Either the Democrats and Independents in Delaware need to get to the polls in record numbers on election day or start packing their bags to live in a more moderate State. If O'Donnell wins the Senate seat her public policy positions will be guided by Satan...
Please excuse me for not understanding this woman or where she came from or how she won the nomination.
I am not able to lower the level of my thinking far enough to even begin to comprehend the irrationality of voting for someone like this.
These remarks have nothing to do with ideology or politics by the way. Intelligence is not liberal or conservative and ignorance is unbecoming to either as well as extremely dangerous to the nation.
In what possible scenario does electing stupid people sound like a winning proposition?
She is anti womens right to choose an abortion
She is anti social security
She is anti unemployment insurance
She believes her rigid views on morality can be legislated
Egads!
All I've heard from these tea bag candidates is they want to take our country back (take our country away from us, they mean). Back to those policies that were working so splendidly during the Bush years. They bring absolutely nothing to the table but the total destruction of this country, and I really believe they are too stupid to even know it.
Teabaggers: Pursuing the American't Dream.
Have we beat this Christine O'Donnell thing to death yet? Because I could do it all day.
"I'm not a prude, I experimented in college," says Christine O'Donnell. With... wait for it... WITCHCRAFT
http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2010/09/christine-odonnell-flashback-i-dabbled-into-witchcraft-video.php?ref=fpb
I'm pretty sure the witches, at this point, would not admit to letting her 'in'.
THROW HER INTO THE POND!
I love the current version of the GOP. Not only are these dummies a source of unending comedy, they have managed to turn what should have been a slam-dunk GOP November sweep into a horse race.
Nice going, Half-Governor Palin.
Warms the heart, doesn't it? It seems only like 2009 when the GOP was bragging about how they were going to sweep both the House and the Senate - until the teabaggers arrived.
Now, the Senate's a wash for the Republicans and there's an actual contest for House majority. At this rate, they're going to have to concede Congress come December and realize that, perhaps, releasing the "derpy hordes" may not have been a good long-term bet.
I called it. I said it the other day. There was just something about her. The sly, come-hither stare.
Her fingers through my hair.
It stripped my conscience bare.
It's witchcraft.
bet she has a birth cirtificate........ and is willing to show it to anyone who askes.
Heh. Birthers are stupid.
And teabagging birthers can't spell.
Christine O'Donnell once had a date on a blood-covered satanic altar, but masturbation is entirely out of the realm of acceptable behavior because it offends her version of Jesus.
Doc, your blog is PRICELESS! Right on the money.
Fruticake season starts earlier every year.
bet she has a birth cirtificate........ and is willing to show it to anyone who askes.
Not one that I am willing to accept!
bet she has a birth cirtificate........ and is willing to show it to anyone who askes.
Aren't you just adorable? I think somebody needs a hug...
Crazy conservative religious woman is unmarried at her age. You know that means she's too crazy even for members of her own church.
Has she denounced the Pope as the Antichrist yet?
bet she has a birth cirtificate........ and is willing to show it to anyone who askes.
Whar ar birf cirtifcate? WHAR!?
Well, I guess it's at least a good thing the Republicans have given up both saying or pretending that they're going to be grown ups and bring dignity back to Washington.
This chick sounds like a high school narc who someone called a poser and now she's trying to prove she's hip and cool.
It's obvious she's not a stable person or a good leader. She ricochets between ridiculous or extreme positions and has no real substance.
Bill Maher plans to show a new crazy clip of Christine O'Donnell every week until she appears on his show again: "It's like a hostage crisis, every week you don't show up, I'm going to throw another body out" He has over 20 clips of when he interviewed her at her craziest.
WILMINGTON DELAWARE - Galvanized by Republican senatorial nominee Christine O'Donnell's anti-masturbation stance, masturbators from across the state converged on Wilmington today in what some are calling the largest pro-wanking protest in American history.
Carrying signs reading, "O'Donnell: Hands Off Our Masturbation," the angry masturbators clogged downtown Wilmington, stopping traffic for blocks.
Harley Farger, a leading Delaware masturbator and planner of the Million Masturbators March, said it was difficult to organize masturbators "because they're used to acting alone."
LMFAO
No comment. You can't expect me to get my hands around that.
that is hilarious, if Masturbation were a crime , I would be on death row!
My new workout regimen: a double dose of Viagra and no girlfriend.
Masturbation is adultery? WTF is wrong with that woman?
Still, she won her primary. Let's all give her a hand. Ha!
...and so began the GOP's campaign to criminalize masturbation and Pornography....
Can you imagine living in a world where fapping was illegal?
They can have my penis when they pry it from my cold dead fingers!
The Tea Party is basically a chicken that's just had it's head lopped off running around the barn yard... It sure looks like it's doing something, but in reality it's just bleeding and shitting everywhere before it falls over dead.
The tea party is basically a chicken with a rare genetic defect that gives it no head but allows it to eat through its ass.
Hmmm. Now, who do I know that can arrange a whispering campaign to get a few thousand people to each send her a vibrator as a "campaign contribution"....
But.. but.. she says she won't diddle around with sexual morality in Washington. Heh. diddle. Heh.
but... but... she says she will be guided by the Constitution, 'not my personal beliefs' about abstinence, masturbation and other social issues.
Right. Except for gay marriage, abortion and interjecting her religious beliefs.
Delaware is a real small state with a big military base.
That might be part of the reason this nut case won the primary.
Fuckin military people are crazy. They had a more balanced group in the military when there was a draft.
Yeah but believe it or not, Delaware is mostly rural and suburban. And the rural people are redneck chicken farmers.
There is also a NASCAR track and pretty much everyone who lives south of Wilmington is about as literate as the average third grader.
They feel a bond with this bimbo as she is just as dumb as they are, does not pay her bills and has not had a regular job in 8 years.
She's tea party, so she's supposedly into fiscal conservatism.
Except her 2008 campaign finances were so bad she ended up paying her rent using campaign contributions; getting the cited by the federal election commission; and is 2 years late on paychecks to her staff.
Oh, yeah, and it took her from 1993 to 2010 to pay her college bills. Not pay off loans, pay the bursars office.
She's said she wouldn't lie to Nazis if they asked her if she had an Jews in her house.
But she lied for 17 years that she had a college degree.
And as of today, her campaign web site has her picture, and a way to donate money. No positions, no contact us, nothing other than send money.
"I'll tell you, I just came back from the Middle East, and it was refreshing. With all that is going on, it was refreshing not to be constantly bombarded with smut all the time."
-Christine O'Donnell
Considering her financial woes how did she afford such an expensive holiday?
I am so very offended when anybody uses the name of Jesus for their own political agenda. First, what has happened to separation of church and state? "Tea bagging for Jesus" It just is wrong on so many levels. I would be offended if there were signs that said "Jesus is a Democrat." None of it makes sense. (Good job Doc with the satire.) It's no wonder so many people think If you are a Christian you must be a whack job.
I need to say this. I am a Christian. Sometimes I feel I have to justify that statement by saying more. Like I believe in the teachings of Jesus, and feel the whole world would be better if we followed them. We are not following His teachings when we hate that is not what I believe He was trying to tell us. I can not imagine ever that Jesus Christ would be a member of any political party--none of them.
At the risk of offending my fundamentalist friends and possibly giving myself a one way ticket to hell :) I also believe in the validity of other people's beliefs.Do we have to have the reformation all over again? Stop the madness. Atheists and agnostics I think you have the right to believe what you believe. And when the Lord God welcomes you into heaven (as I believe He will) then we'll all have a little party.
As far as Christine O'Donnell is concerned I think a little medication might be very good for her.
Enough said. Buffy
Wow! Just... wow! Buffy rules!!!
Buffy nailed it. Now THAT's a Christian! Excellent.
Doc's wife could have her own blog. Seriously. She just said all that needed to be said about Tea Party Jesus/Christians. I'd love to hear more from her (although I disagree on one point: I think O'Donnell needs more than medication. A straight-jacket to go with 'em)
'Buffy' is the light of my life, I love her with my whole being. She's smart, funny, loving, generous, and so much more (eg: a Democrat). She's the kind of Christian I believe would get Jesus's 'stamp of approval' - she actually DOES love her neighbor (many of her friends and acquaintances are Republicans), she's a great mother and grandmother to both hers and mine,and she's continually evolving spiritually. Last but not least, she's also a terrific cook! Love you, Buffy.
Awww.. that's sweet. We love you guys too.
The Tea Party is full of people who won't touch themselves? No wonder they're so angry and frustrated.
"American scientific companies are crossbreeding humans and animals and coming up with mice with fully functioning human brains," warned Delaware senate candidate Christine O'Donnell
So they're cloning the next generation of Republican voters?
Well, this nicely sums up most people's understanding of and appreciation for biological science.
We can develop new bombs that melt the skin right off our enemies' faces, airplanes that can attack our enemies without the pilot ever setting foot on the continent they're deployed in, robots that drive around the combat zone armed with a machine gun... but heaven forbid we do anything unnatural! Why that's just perverted and sick!
Female Republicans lately seem to be raging lunatics worthy of nothing but derision. But they loves their Jesus (not mine, Doc's, or Buffy's)
This is going from bad to unbelievably fucking stupid. How did this stuff not come up before Tuesday?
This woman became a Republican nominee for Senate less than a week ago, and has been endorsed by key Republican leaders. It is important to let everyone know how full of crazy this lady is as soon as possible. It's not our fault she's overflowing with crazy.
We Democrats don't want her to go away. We want to push her to the forefront for all to see and say "Look upon this person America. This is what the GOP wants for you. Tremble, despair, and vote Dem."
And sadly the people will say: "Hurrr, she's kinda cute. I'm voting for her."
As hard as it is to believe, republican tea party voters really elected their candidates over GOP backed candidates.
They elected Christian fundie idiots who believe masturbation will earn you box seats in hell, have "dabbled into witchcraft", want to abolish state education, would allow discrimination on the basis of race, want to ship welfare recipients to prison and believe that "healthcare will kill more people than terrorism."
If Democrats can't win against these morons in November... damn!
From Twitter: "Palin warns O'Donnell that the national media seeks her destruction". Which is Tea Party speak for they're "reporting what you said".
"Should any political party attempt to abolish social security, unemployment insurance and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again in our history. There is a tiny splinter group, of course, that believes you can do these things...their number is negligible and they are stupid" -
Dwight D. Eisenhower
It's true: O'Donnell said they are cloning mice with fully functional human brains.
Who would listen to and respect anything someone like this who makes stuff up to scare people to her delusional point of view.
A favorite right-wing tactic - fear: commies, socialists, internment camps, new world order, pulling the plug on grandma, and death panels.
The Teaparty's Jesus is all fear based. The majority of Christians know that Jesus is love based!
"I think O'Donnell needs more than medication. A straight-jacket to go with 'em." - DJ BA Rock obama
To call her insane is an insult to people with mental illness. If she was insane then at least she'd have an excuse for her ridiculous world view. She's just plain ignorant, a Palin clone with fucked up values.
O'Donnell, Palin, Beck, Limbaugh, and the rest of the fundie repubs follow the secret 11th commandment: "Thou Shalt shit upon thy neighbor if he/she doth be different"
While I'd like to believe O'Donnell has learned her lesson and will never appear in an embarrassing video again, the revelations that she has been living off campaign donations and has racked up thousands in debt by not paying her staff leads me to believe if things don't rapidly get better for the spunky young Senatorial candidate from Delaware we may see another shameful video of her on the internet spearheading a campaign making it illegal to have sex with the lights on.
"Christine O'Donnell is clearly a criminal, and like any crook she should be prosecuted," said Melanie Sloan, CREW Executive Director. "Ms. O'Donnell has spent years embezzling money from her campaign to cover her personal expenses. Republicans and Democrats don't agree on much these days, but both sides should agree on one point: thieves belong in jail not the United States Senate."
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-20016966-503544.html
from the article: Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington, or CREW, today filed a pair of complaints concerning Delaware Republican Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell's use of more than $20,000 in campaign funds for personal expenses.
Well, no surprise. She is obviously a Sarah Palin wannabe. Same hair, same red jacket, same lack of ethics. Republicans can really pick some winners.
Corruption isn't a downfall to a Republican,... it's a requirement.
sign CREW's petition:
http://salsa.democracyinaction.org/o/550/p/dia/action/public/?action_KEY=4837
Christine O'Donnell spends money she doesn't have, hired employees she doesn't pay, stiffed businesses, and didn't pay her taxes. One former employee said she was "completely financially irresponsible."
Sarah Palin Tweeted: "The Hill: get it right, please; I did NOT tell O'Donnell to only speak to Fox News. Where do u all get this stuff? Pls report truth. Thanks"
What planet is she from? She definitely told O'Donnell to speak only through Fox.
Of course she did. I saw the clip five or six times last week. Another Palin lie.
Looks like she's really is just like Sarah Palin.
But at least Palin is an experienced grifter. O'Donnell is just an amateur making the mistakes of an amateur.
Too bad she can't use her witchcraft to conjure up a job or make her debt disappear
This alleged woman can't possibly be real. She's a conservative cyborg, built in a special lab where the Derp is always set to 11. Her mission? Fairly obvious.
Destroy the outer bounds of what is reasonable to make slightly less fringe candidates like Palin appear intelligent, worldly and refined by comparison.
My fear is that it works.
She'd actually have to be photographed sucking Jell-O shots from the anus of an aborted fetus for any misgiving to be aired.
Do you think FOX will touch this, even if/when the FEC officially determines wrongdoing?
No.
Her supporters don't get information from anywhere but a homogeneous bubble, so don't expect any of her skeletons to actually gain traction.
These folks can be hypocrites and grifters safe in the knowledge that their voters will either never find out, never care, or blame it on liberal media persecution (or reverse vampires, or that we're scared of strong, conservative women, or some shit).
Does any TV News outlet, local or national, have a reporter who's enough of a journalist to "cover" this story by doing more than a "he said/ she said" video clip of one campaign spokesperson making the charge and the other denying it, followed an interview with a political science professor about how these stories might help or hurt O'Donnell in the polls?
How is it that this woman with a closet full of skeletons got zero media attention/scrutiny BEFORE the general election?
Probably the same way Palin got vetted. "She's a cutie!"
this whole Tea Party movement is fucking retarded. People who are sooooo concerned about fiscal responsibility that they think the President is a Mooslim who is out to destroy their Christian land... but they're voting for a broke-ass former witch.
I saw a segment on 360 where they interviewed her supporters and asked if their opinion of her changed in light of the latest scandal with her paying personal bills with her 2008 campaign money.
I was disgusted when they said that it made them like her MORE because "It's relatable that she's got bills to pay just like they do."
*groan*
Okay, I know this is going to be a difficult concept for repubs to grasp, but let's give it a shot: Lawmakers aren't supposed to be your masturbation fantasy.
Pffft. don't you know looks are the only important thing in life? last week I hired a cute neurosurgeon to remove my brain tumor, and I toruned ogtt joooooooost finders.
whenever i watch a typical teapartier try to make a point, an appropriate rebuttal would almost ALWAYS be "well, it's really more complicated than that because..." but they have no capacity for thoughts that don't involve jesus, nascar, guns or flag clothing, so the minutiae just get ignored.
This is why I usually balk at the incredibly dumb solution (usually from Tea Party-type people) of "term limits for everyone!" and "throw out all the incumbents".
Of course we need some fresh blood at various levels. But the notion that Joe Bob Billy from the local bait store can go be senator, and then after 1 term replace him with Martha Ethel who runs a produce stand at the farmer's market is ridiculous.
Politics is not and never has been some simple thing where anyone can just walk in and do a great job.
O'Donnell is a con man. Plain and simple. Or at most she's hoping that eventually she'll get elected to the Senate and can go from conning money out of citizens to conning money out of lobbyists.
She's proof that White and average is accepted more readily than black and qualified by many Americans.
Imagine if a black candidate had "dabbled in witchcraft".
I don't have to imagine it. Just because it isn't real doesn't mean I haven't seen it.
Conservatives have at least two image macros I've seen that have Obama as a witch doctor. And this guy is one of the most reserved, intelligent & dignified guys to ever hold the office... I can't even imagine how they'd react if someone like Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton ever made it big....
True. The shitstorm would reach domestic terrorism levels, I won't lie to you. Hell, there's already a lot of images circulating of Obama dressed up like an African witchdoctor. Imagine if he had actually practiced some freaky voodoo or something in his past.
"Homosexuality is an identity adopted through societal factors. It's an identity disorder." - O'Donnell
First she claims it's a choice, and a few milliseconds later she's claiming it's a disorder.
*This* is a perfect example of why this woman isn't taken seriously. She can't brain.
Just so long as at the end of the day she can still convince herself that homosexuality is "unnatural", then she probably could care less about the details.
Christine O'Donnell, the wisdom of teaparty Jesus: Example #8974359834 of why religion shouldn't be a part of politics
Membership in the GOP is an identity disorder. Homosexuality has a combination of factors, both genetic and social.
Did she learn that during her sexual congress with the devil?
She is the one with the identity disorder. Look at her choices throughout her life - she can't figure out if she wants to be a Satanist, a Witch, a slut, or an ultra conservative Christian. I bet if she is interviewed about 10 years from now she will probably be an atheist and a liberal.
Christine O'Donnell is a personality disorder.
...now I know why GOP conservatives wanted Terri Schiavo to live.. She could have been the female intellectual heavyweight in this election cycle.
Christine O'Donnell "I wouldn't lie to Hitler if Jews were hiding in my house"
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/09/15/flashback-gop-senate-cand_n_717936.html
To be fair, to the best of her knowledge she's never LET any Jews into her house...
Oh, man, this woman scares the bejesus out of me. Apparently "truth," even if it results in the deaths of millions, is of higher value to her than DECENCY.
God wants you to put unimaginably stupid and irresponsible people in positions of power.
The Nazis are at your door, they ask if you have any Jews. What do you tell them?
"Of course I do? Would you like some? I've got orange or apple."
The Nazis are at your door, they ask if you've masturbated recently...
lol
"Well, as the senator from Tennessee mentioned, evolution is a theory and it's exactly that. There is not enough evidence, consistent evidence to make it as fact, and I say that because for theory to become a fact, it needs to consistently have the same results after it goes through a series of tests. The tests that they put - that they use to support evolution do not have consistent results. Now too many people are blindly accepting evolution as fact. But when you get down to the hard evidence, it's merely a theory.
Well, creationism, in essence, is believing that the world began as the Bible in Genesis says, that God created the Earth in six days, six 24-hour periods. And there is just as much, if not more, evidence supporting that." - O'Donnell
fuck that gravity shit, man. It's just a theory.
She strikes me as the type who would probably not even wait for the Nazis to knock on her door but call them up to tell them that Jews were hiding in her house. She would even allow that carpenter from Nazareth to be taken away because he was Jewish. Cause that's how she rolls.
"We took the Bible and prayer out of public schools, now we're having weekly shootings practically."
- Christine O'Donnell, possible future Senator of Delaware (TP).
My God, this woman is just a treasure trove of retard.
O boy, this girl cracks me up.
I know it can get worse than this. I know people worse than this.
What I didn't know was that they could win elections.
"People look at something like a stick insect as proof of evolution. They say it developed the ability to mimic plant material as a disguise. Don't believe it. All it shows is that at some point, an insect was having it's way with a leaf."
-Christine O'Donnell
Jesus save us from Teaparty Jesus.
"When I die, I want the funeral home to remove all the mirrors, because I don't want my soul to get trapped in one."
-Christine O'Donnell
These are real quotes. You can't make this shit up.
"Bill Clinton should be put on trial for the murder of Vince Foster"
-Christine O'Donnell
"I hear it's amazing when the famous purple stuffed worm in flap-jaw space with the tuning fork does a raw blink on Hari-kari rock. I need scissors! 61!" -Christine O'Donnell
Now THAT one I get.
Hey, gang! Let's make up some quotes for her! They'll be all over the internet soon as the real thing!
"The Bible states that all cats must be declawed or else they and their owners will be sent to Hell."
-Christine O'Donnell
"I know its tuna, but the can says Chicken of the Sea. Is it really chicken?" - Christine O'Donnell
(actual quote from Jessica Simpson)
"I don't understand why God made buffalo wings so delicious, yet so small. No wonder buffalo never get off the ground." -Christine O'Donnell.
"America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between."
-Christine O'Donnell
Hey, that was Oscar Wilde. Don't give O'Donnell any smarts she hasn't got!
"I can't wait for the new Twilight movie!"
-Christine O'Donnell
"Evolution is a very shaky theory. A false one. If evolution is so brilliant, why didn't it make a giraffe good at carpentry so it could build a ladder?"
-Christine O'Donnell
"I did not have sexual relations with that woman." - Christine O'Donnell.
"I like the smell of my own farts."
- Christine O'Donnell
"The Bible is the inherent and eternal word of God, as is 'Police Academy 4.' "
- Christine O'Donnell
"When God created humans, we were perfect. When we ate and drank, our bodies processed everything with 100% efficiency, and there was no need to go to the bathroom. But after the Fall, this was no longer the case, and Adam and Eve started pooping. Therefore, we can say that while going to the bathroom is probably not a direct sin, it is certainly a result of sin. And we should feel terrible about it, and we should teach our children to feel terrible about it. This is why in our house, we had pictures of Jesus dying on the cross hanging in front of the toilet. To remind us of our sinful nature and that going to the bathroom is horrible. Really, really horrible."
- Christine O'Donnell
"And, when the doctor said I didn't have worms any more, that was the happiest day of my life."
- Christine O'Donnell
"They keep saying that sea levels are rising and all this. It has nothing to do with Global Warming or the icebergs melting, it's because there's too many fish. Get rid of some of the fish and the water will drop. Simple. Basic science."
- Christine O'Donnell
"Let's go eat a goddamn snack."
- Christine O'Donnell
"640K of memory should be enough for anybody." - Christine O'Donnell
"This is a matter of culpability. What freak dancing is isn't just like the safety of mosh pitting. This is sexually explicit activity for minors. We do limit the expression of minors. There are drinking laws. There are -- you know, you have to be 18 to smoke. You can't go to school in a bikini. On one hand, you have people saying this is squelching their freedom, and then you scratch your head and say look over here, date rape is such an epidemic. There's a connection, and, if people realize that there's a connection, then they'll realize that these limitations and restrictions exist for a very valid reason."
-Christine O'Donnell (ACTUAL QUOTE)
"It's only an island if you look at it from the water."
-Christine O'Donnell
"I know my reward awaits me in Heaven. I just hope I die after I've been to the beach. All those people in Heaven have been up there ages with a chance to get a bit of sun on the body so they'll look alright. I'll be wandering about with underpant marks and stuff."
-Christine O'Donnell
"Look at the significance that he gives to Eowyn, the lady of Rohan. She was a warrior spirit and, to me, that's who I love. I mean, I aspire to be soft and gentle like Arwen, but realistically, I'm a fighter, like Eowyn." - Christine O'Donnell (actual quote)
O'Donnell: "What is all this fuss I hear about the Supreme Court decision on a "deaf" penalty? It's terrible! Deaf people have enough problems as it is!"
O'Donnell Aide: [whispers in O'Donnell's ear]
O'Donnell: "Oh, that's very different...." [pauses] "Never mind."
"How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home wine making course, and I forgot how to drive?"
-Christine O'Donnell
"One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know."
- Christine O'Donnell
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