VATICAN CITY - In the latest development in the ongoing Catholic Church child abuse scandal, Pope Benedict XVI is blaming his failure to stop pedophile priests on a hearing problem that has plagued him for decades, or at least since the first abuse reports surfaced.
"For years, I thought my aides were telling me that people had come forward to say the priests were amusing children in their parishes," said Benedict in a prepared statement released by the Vatican. "With laughter being one of God's greatest gifts to mankind, you can understand why I didn't think this would be a problem."
Benedict claims he reassigned the accused priests, rather than remove them from a position where they would come into contact with children, because he was trying to "spread the laughter. That's just the type of Pontiff I am. I love to laugh."
"Now I understand why the Cardinals would give me such funny looks when I would react with such delight every time the topic of children being amused came up," added the Pope, noting it was similar to the times when he would tell them long, wistful stories about his time spent in the Hitler Youth, only to find out recently that it wasn't actually the Bavaria chapter of the Boys & Girls Club.
Some are skeptical about the Pope's claims, though, pointing out that many of the accusations came in lengthy written reports outlining the potential scope of the abuse claims. But Benedict says most of his memos and reports were read to him by an aide who had a speech impediment, which compounded his hearing problem.
"For years when we were discussing keeping abortion under control, I thought the topic was portion control," explained the Pope. "Which frankly I could stand to have a little more of, the way I love that apfelstrudel."
Pope Benedict's claim comes at a time when the church is desperately trying to restore its image in the wake of the hundreds of abuse claims that have dogged it in recent years. To improve his image, the Pope has gone so far as to skate for the N.Y. Rangers vs. the N.J. Devils, and distribute hundreds of get-out-of-confession-free cards.
"We're getting a little tired of the whole confession thing," admitted one Vatican official who asked not be named. "I can't tell you how many people come into the booth now and say 'Bless me father, for YOU have sinned.' It gets old real fast."
Vatican spokesman Father Federico Lombardi presented the Pope's statement at a press conference Saturday morning, prompting reporters to ask him if they honestly expected people to believe that the failure to effectively deal with hundreds of abuse claims over many decades could be attributed to the Pope being hard of hearing.
"Well, I'll say this about that," responded Father Lombardi, before shuffling his notes around a bit, pausing for a full two minutes, and then saying, "Um ... that's all we got."
Then he added, "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go become Episcopalian."
.
199 comments:
Pope sees sex scandal as a test, which explains all the cramming going on in the priesthood
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100401/ap_on_re_eu/eu_church_abuse
Was it a proctology test?
I think it involved a blood test. I heard them say something about feeling a small prick.
LOL!
A 'Guess Which Orifice This Fits In' test?
Then - "Hey our clergy are porking young boys, shhhh don't say anything, cover it up."
Now - "This is a test, it is not fair, we did not bring this upon ourselves. Shame on you for this. Shame, shame, shame," Vatican says wagging their righteous fingers at us.
At least it isn't a test test.
I have an idea: church-sanctioned "relief centers" specializing in Christ-approved methods of getting off.
People give religion a bad name.
They say many sex criminals were themselves victims in their childhood. Perhaps life in the Hitler Youth had more in common with life as an Altar Boy than we were led to believe...
Yes, blame the messenger, an excellent course of action.
Next: the kids were practically begging for it.
So they're all going to bone up on their studies?
(groan)
It was a test.
They failed miserably.
To be fair, they haven't had a lot time to correct the problem, it was just sprung on them 47 years ago.
http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5h9O9pDzoOP4MhFpu2FhO326s_y8wD9EPSB980
The church should have handed the priests over to the due civil authorities without hesitation if they were truly Christians.
This is what gets me...how do they get away with this?
If a teacher assaulted a kid in school, the police would be carting him/her away in handcuffs. If someone helped cover it up, they'd be charged with something as well.
Why aren't priests getting arrested for this crap?
The same kind of test as when the devil put fossils underground to trick us in to thinking the Earth was over 6,000 years old?
I guess they have decided to deny, twist, and spin right to the bitter end. Screw those traumatized kids (again), the most important thing is to avoid embarrassing the church!!!!
Hey Pope!
The FUCKING TEST was when you had a chance to do something about children being abused.
You failed.
You failed your church, you failed those children, you failed your God, and you failed as a decent human being.
thank you Pope Benedict for making the world safer for pedophiles.
douche.
Seriously, if I hadn't written the Catholic church off long, long ago for being a hypocritical, out-of-touch and corrupt institution this would have made me walk away.
My Mom won't write it off though, because she's a "good Catholic," meaning she sings in the choir and shows up on Sundays. Never mind that she's not buying at least 75% of what the church is selling these days.
I'm sure if I were to bring this scandal up she'd say something like, "Well, OUR priests are nice guys. It's a shame a few bad apples..." etc. etc.
Regardless of the fact that her father (my grandfather) ran a pedo priest out of town with a small, angry mob when she was a kid, AND the priest for my parish when I was in high school was quietly shuffled off to another parish when he was found to be hitting on the high school boys.
No, totally just a few bad apples...
I wonder what would happen if a school official, instead of reporting the students being diddled by a teacher, just moved that teacher to a different school.
Probably be strung up. At least in a public school system. Catholic schools, he'd be defended and have his ego stroked. Um, something like that.
It's time someone (me) gave doc kudos for his clever satire on this serious subject. 'Amusing' for 'abusing' children. Genius.
Agreed. Kudos, doc. Brilliant, as usual.
co-sign
I was made to believe that it was somehow my fault that it happened and that I had to protect the secret "for the good of the church". My parents acted like it never happened and I was just making stuff up or something. I don't know what my life would've been like if it had never happened, but I know it couldn't have been worse. I've never been able to have a relationship with a person, intimacy is out of the question. I've combated substance abuse since I was 12. I never did well in school. I still have nightmares about those days, Father Jackson and his special friend. Puppet shows are actually one of my worse nightmares because that's how he got me "in". At this point, how can the Catholic Church give me my life back? They can't. But I can tell you, from first hand experience, as bad as the abuse was, the cover up over the years is way worse. If they had just acknowledged it and tried to help me, I believe I may have been able to move past it at some point. Now, I never will. Thanks to them those actions are THE defining moments of my life. My life is defined by fear and hatred thanks to them. They are monsters by every definition I know of, and that includes the pope.
Welcome Aidan. My heart goes out to you, and I hope you do find some solace.
I'll give you a 50% discount on the pitchforks and torches.
The corruption in the catholic church goes straight to the top, and that's where we should start cutting.
I'm really sorry Aidan. I hope you see some resolution in this whole mess.
Yes this is wrong, but you have to look at the big picture. It's only one life. How many other people does the priest help by saying prayers, attending the sick and dying, etc.
Exactly! Just how many people did Jeffrey Dahmer NOT eat. He should be applauded for that. It all balances out.
awake and sneeze: I'm sorry, but your troll pass has exceeded its limit. Please insert $1.50 for an additional 2 minutes.
Right on! The families of the eaten victims ought to be ashamed of themselves for persecuting such a merciful saint as Jeffrey Dahmer!
Priests go after altar boys instead of nuns because it's hard to get into the habit.
But....but....they prayed really hard went to confession and said they were super sorry to God! As far as the Vatican is concerned, the matter is closed.
1 Ratzinger needs to resign.
2 Any cardinal or bishop involved need to resign.
3 Any figure believed guilty by the Church needs to be dealt with by the secular authorities.
4 All accusations against the clergy need to be reported to the proper secular authorities.
5 Clerical celibacy needs to be kicked into the dustbin.
1 won't happen
2 won't happen
3 won't happen
4 won't happen
5 won't happen
Is the pope guilty of abusing boys? Not as far as we know.
Did he know of priest that were abusing boys and either ignored the issue or simply moved the abuser to another parish?
Absolutely and without question.
And keep in mind he was the head of the arm of the church that dealt with abusers. It was his job to stop the abuse, and in more than one case he did nothing to stop the abuse.
My understanding is that there were two separate cases. The first, when he was Archbishop of Munich, involved his removing of an abusing priest from his parish and sending him to therapy. The abuser was later reinstated, but without Ratzinger's knowledge.
The second case concerned his failure to respond to the letter about the priest in Wisconsin. This was because the case had already been dropped by the civil authorities in the US.
In the fist case, Fr. Hullermann was sent to a psychiatrist who told the church that he should never again be allowed to be around children. Fr. Hullermann was then given his own parish. No one believes that Ratzinger did not know about it. Ratzinger was famous for being a micro-manager.
In the second case, Fr. Murphy admitted he had abused 200 deaf boys. The archbishop, when it came to his attention, wrote Ratzinger and asked what they should do as Fr. Murphy was still a active priest. Ratzinger never responded. The fact that the case was not being investigate as a criminal matter has nothing to do with the church knowingly allowing an abuser to remain a priest.
Actually, Oh Wise One, the archbishop wanted to punish Fr. Murphy with an internal tribunal followed by stripping him from the priesthood and wrote to Ratzinger for permission.
At the same time, Fr. Murphy made a plea for leniency to Ratzinger.
Ratzinger shut down the tribunal, allowing Fr. Murphy to die a priest.
Ooooo - someone corrected Nostradamus. I thought he was infallible. No, wait. That would be the Pope. But not after all this pedo coverup shit.
New revelations about the Vatican's role in covering up hundreds of cases of abuse by priests is really putting a kink in the whole "make Pope John Paul II a saint" thing.
http://abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory?id=10227064
Maybe he can still qualify for tainthood.
He invented "The Pope Mobile" and sleeping on the job.
WHAT MORE DO YOU GODDAMN PEOPLE WANT???
Hey, how about this: you admit the Pope is not the infallable voice of Jesus, and admit he's just the head of your church? And while you're at it, admit that a relationship with God can be more personal and direct, and all this ritual isn't really necessary. And maybe let priests get married or be women while they're at it.
I've made a whole list of suggestions. I'm gonna go nail it to a church's door now.
Nah... that would negatively impact profit too much.
Got any indulgences for sale? Do you accept competitor coupons?
the pope is a politician hiding behind religion. As much I as respect Catholics and the education the provide to kids public schools (inner city) have failed, this cover up is inexcusable.
given their track record, i expect an apology from the church in 400 years.
They really aren't used to people questioning their judgment.
The whole, "Do as we say or go to hell" bit is wearing thin.
No wonder the Catholic Church is very anti-abortion... They want more kids to abuse.
The Catholic church is starting to make Scientology look legitimate.
Good thing my dad abandoned his dream of belonging in the priesthood. He loves boobs and never would have been accepted amongst his peers.
true story
While in a perfect world I'd love to see all major religious organizations dissolve, as they help on the whole only themselves, and only grow on the stupidity and desperation of their "flock".
Mix in a bunch of pedophile priests, extremist christians, catholics and muslims and it's just one big clusterfuck of stupidity.
By and large major "big" religious camps are all composed of people who are too weak minded to think for themselves and need the whole "Safety in numbers" thing to survive mentally.
I'd settle for all of them just shutting the hell up, stop molesting little boys and girls, and stop killing in the name of God, mind your own business and actually treat others the way you want to be treated. Simple, effective, and sane.
I guess I'm catholic if I had to put a label on myself, but I don't believe in the church. It's a business and conducts itself in the most basic fundamental meaning of the word. They worship the Almighty Dollar. If there's a scandal that could hurt business, of course they cover it up. It's bad for business if that stuff gets out.
Here's a blast from the past:
There's a man who lives over the ocean
And who has got a great notion
That he is the World's Greatest Hope
He's Giovanni Montini, the Pope
Giovanni Batista Montini
He lives in the Vatican-nini
He's Italian; he doesn't use soap
He's Giovanni Montini, the Pope!
When Atheists try to distract him
He doesn't let it upset him,
He just makes the High Sign on his chest,
Lets his Boss Man take care of the rest!
No sheriff could ever sub-pee-ni
Giovanni Batista Montini
For how can you possibly quibble
With a man who is infalli-bibble?
Giovanni Batista Montini
He lives in the Vatican-nini
And he don't even have to smoke dope
'Cause he's Giovanni Montini
You know who I mean-i
The one with the beanie!
Giovanni Montini, the Pope!
Is it just me, or does the Pope seem a bit 'touchy' lately? Get it? 'touchy' Hahaha I made me LOL
Gave me my first grin of the day, so yes Lol
The three most effective submission holds of all time: (1) The Half Nelson; (2) The Full Nelson; and (3) The Father Nelson.
But only two of those allow you to tap out.
You know what really bothers me about this? They had it within their power to end the scandal AND to keep the scandal quiet. Find out there's a pedophile in a parish? Transfer him - for the rest of his life - to a remote monastery where there are no children. He must stay there and make hand-illuminated prayer cards, work the fields, whatever. Should the offending priest choose not to be obedient to the order, he is released from his vows and turned over to the authorities. This would even be better than the penal system because the offender is removed from society (and from the presence of children) for the rest of his life.
But did the Church choose to do this? Nope. They kept transferring the bastards around, so that there was a new, unsuspecting crop of innocents to molest.
There's no problem due to Papal Infallibility. If the Pope covered it up, then covering it up was the right thing to do. QED.
There's no problem due to Papal Infallibility. If the Pope covered it up, then covering it up was the right thing to do. QED.
The Pope is considered infallible ONLY when he is speaking "ex cathedra" - that is, on behalf of the entire church - and this applies ONLY to matters of faith and morals.
Nobody says the pope can't say stupid shit, can't sin, etc. There are not many things AT ALL that come out of a pope's mouth that would fall under infallibility - quite the opposite actually.
Additionally, most things considered infallible by popes, aren't things that were said - they are normally published works that clarify church teaching.
The Pope is considered infallible ONLY when he is speaking "ex cathedra" - that is, on behalf of the entire church - and this applies ONLY to matters of faith and morals.
Nobody says the pope can't say stupid shit, can't sin, etc. There are not many things AT ALL that come out of a pope's mouth that would fall under infallibility - quite the opposite actually.
Additionally, most things considered infallible by popes, aren't things that were said - they are normally published works that clarify church teaching.
All right, let's take belief in God out of it for just a second. Say you have a kid in day care. Now imagine that it's not a privately owned day care, but a giant corporate day care. Like it's the Wal-Mart of day cares. Okay, now the person in charge of your specific day care rapes your kid.
Whoa, man. Outrage right? You probably want to kill this a-hole, right? Well, that kind of outrage is normal and perfectly understandable.
But wait, there's more. Turns out the guy has done this a few times before. And when his regional manager found out about it, he gave him a slap on the wrist and reassigned him to a different location with different kids.
Oh yeah, and on top of that, top management in the organization is aware that there is a bit of a kid diddling problem throughout the company. Turns out in a group of adult males who want to make a career out of looking after small children, there are a few weirdos. The practice of just reassigning the molesters is sort of unwritten company policy to avoid the scandal and bad press that would come about if this ever went public.
I could probably go on even longer, but I think you get the point.
If the Church had taken action the very first time the problem might have been ended. As it is, they do nothing and it continues.
One priest fucks one boy, one priest covering it up fucks the entire church.
Considering Popes used to lead armies into battle all across the Middle East, had incestuous relationships w/ daughters, killed earlier Popes to become Pope, etc., I'm pretty sure the Church will get out of this vile crap eventually.
Just don't hold your breath (for the next few centuries).
Makes one think how much John Paul II knew about all of this, seeing how Ratzinger was his right hand man...
Its not enough the the Pope was a Nazi. He was a child molester enabler too.
Nice. Good pick, Cardinals!
Abstinence makes the church grow fondlers.
heh good one
Hitler wanted to steal the Turin Shroud - 'but was thwarted by the Vatican'
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1264150/Hitler-plot-steal-Turin-Shroud-thwarted-Vatican.html
Nice cut & paste job AZ. Your contributions are always appreciated.
"I mean, yeah, we've been abusing kids forever, but Hitler right? You guys HATE Hitler. So we uh.. we ... hid... this thing. From Hitler. High-five? ......Don't keep a Cardinal hanging, brah.."
'Don't keep a Cardinal hanging'
Especially when an altar boy can fix that.
What?
Did the priests hide young Jewish boys under their robes? Sort of like Schindler's List but more near the groin area?
from AZ's article: "the Nazi swastika has long been considered a black magic symbol"
Uh.... WTF?
Bear in mind that, to the Catholic church, anything religious that they don't control is "black magic"
Also from the article: "Whether it is genuine or an elaborate 500-year-old fake has remained one of the greatest mysteries of time."
No, it really hasn't.
Remember: radiocarbon dating is a tool of the devil except when it happens to match your beliefs.
"So, Adolf, as long as you let us keep the Shroud of Turin, we won't bat an eye toward what you're doing with all those Jews that you've been boxing up and moving around. Deal?"
Is this about the Vatican waiting until the last second, and then withdrawing their support for Hitler?
I can remember when little boys wanted to go into the priesthood, not the other way around.
nazi's are horrible at stealing religious relics. just look at that historical reenactment that is 'raiders of the lost ark'
It's pretty telling that you guys give the Vatican a harder time than the nazis
The Nazis have been soundly dealt with.
"Also from the article: Whether it is genuine or an elaborate 500-year-old fake has remained one of the greatest mysteries of time."
No, it really hasn't. - I hate stupid people
No, you don't understand. If you insist that you don't understand then the mystery is maintained. Language makes reality.
"from AZ's article: the Nazi swastika has long been considered a black magic symbol"
Uh.... WTF? - pensiveobserver
It's a good luck symbol in India and has been for thousands of years.
Doesn't Pope Ratzy have an old "Hitler Youth" membership card laying around somewhere?
Yeah we fucked altar boys and kinda kept silent during the Holocaust but we hid a fake relic from Hitler so it's balanced out.
I recommend 'Hitler's Pope', as it nicely documents the Church's complicity and assistance to the Nazi in rounding up Jews and its close ties to the Italian Fascists.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hitler%27s_Pope
Doesn't Pope Ratzy have an old "Hitler Youth" membership card laying around somewhere? --- Ogre
Yeah, he's still hanging on to it because he has only 9 holes punched in it, one more youth and he gets one free!
Well, old Adolf DID get those six million or so Jews while Pius XII said and did pretty much nothing, bummer about that, can't win 'em all, but at least the Precious Magical Relic was saved! Hooray!
Jesus, the things some people (AZ INDY, who posted the article) think are important.
NO WAY, Mr. Hitler, you CANNOT have the shroud of Turin.
But take all the Jews you want! Enjoy!
Yo, Daily Mail. I know you think the true story of the Shroud of Turin is a great mystery and ima let you finish, but the identity of Jack the Ripper is one of the greatest mysteries of ALL TIME. - Kanye
Except that they didn't defeat him but they did help him rise to power.
They also helped to create the hate and mistrust of the Jews which Hitler used to focus the public's attention on...
I call shenanigans on AZ's whole article.
Hitler had the Pope's number on his "Friends and Family" plan and you all know it.
If you guys want to talk about people doing cool things to keep Hitler from getting his hands on what he wanted, you don't have to look any further than the French Resistance's efforts to protect works of art from the French national museums.
My favorite story is about one of the vast, room-sized canvases from the Louvre (think the Raft of the Medusa or the Coronation of Napoleon). It was too big to hide in any conventional way, so they attached it, back-side down, to the ceiling of a restaurant. The restaurant became a favorite of the SS during the occupation and officers dined under it nightly, not knowing what they were sitting under.
Hey, I'm Catholic, and I am abjectly ashamed of my church.
I know that the number of sexual abusers is miniscule compared to
the number of priests in the world.
But even one is too many, and for the Church to have demonstrably
do nothing but hide the problem for so long fills me with so much rage that I hardly know what to do, except stop going, which I have already done (though for many other reasons apart from this).
And The Pope knows the true numbers, and yet in this last round of abuse revelations he chooses to say nothing, since he believes
the Church is answerable only to God's Will (ie: itself).
That won't cut it for me, nor for many other Catholics.
Pope Benedict XVI is angling to be the greatest pope of the 11th
century, not the 21st.
Pope Vows To Get Church Pedophilia Down To Acceptable Levels
VATICAN CITY-Calling the behavior shameful, sinful, and much more frequent than the Vatican was comfortable with, Pope Benedict XVI vowed this week to bring the widespread pedophilia within the Roman Catholic Church down to a more manageable level.
Addressing thousands gathered at St. Peter's Square on Easter Sunday, the pontiff offered his "most humble apologies" to abuse victims, and pledged to reduce the total number of molestations by 60 percent over the next five years.
"This is absolutely unacceptable," Pope Benedict said. "It seems a weakening of faith in God has prevented our priests from exercising moderation when sexually abusing helpless minors."
"And let me remind our clergy of the holy vows they all took when they entered the priesthood," he continued. "They should know that they're only allowed one small child every other month."
"The truth is there will always be a little bit of molestation—it's simply unavoidable," Vatican spokesperson Rev. Federico Lombardi said. "But the fact that young boys have gotten much more attractive over the past few decades is no excuse for the blatant defiance of church limits that have been in place for centuries."
"The majority of priests don't want to molest kids at all," he added. "But for those who do, we must make sure they're doing it at a reasonable rate."
"If a priest goes even one child over the limit, there will be hell to pay," said Prefect Emeritus of the Congregation for Bishops Giovanni Battista Re, explaining the Vatican's new "Three Strikes, You're Out Rule." "After the third offense, the offending priest will immediately be moved to another parish. This will give officials time to investigate the case, and will act as an effective deterrent since it usually takes months for priests to gain the trust of the new children."
As a "goodwill measure," Cardinal Re said all churches will also be required to display a sign next to the altar showing the number of days since the last molestation.
Criticism of the pope's new plan has already begun to emerge from within the Catholic Church itself. Rev. Walter Moore, a pastor at St. Peter's in Chicago, questioned the Vatican's methodology in calculating the molestation rates, saying the church's inconsistent definition of pedophilia may have skewed the numbers.
"Is it technically pedophilia if the child's clothes are fully on the entire time? What if he's asleep when it happens?" Moore said. "It's time we had some clear guidance from Rome on this issue. For instance, the church counts it as one incident regardless of whether the child is molested multiple times by the same individual or by two priests at once. That's just plain wrong."
"Plus, if it's supposed to be a special secret between the priest and the boy, is it even any of the church's business in the first place?" he added. "Maybe Brandon is just trying to get attention."
The Vatican would not release details of the pope's upcoming world tour, in which he plans to clear up any confusion on the matter by personally demonstrating what constitutes molestation
OMFG!
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOLOLOLOL You are a fucking GENIUS doc, your comment actually trumps your blogpost for satire and hilarity.
You are my idol. Seriously.
I must (reluctantly) admit that doc's comment was exceptionally brilliant, especially since no republicans were harmed in the making of his comment.
As a "goodwill measure," Cardinal Re said all churches will also be required to display a sign next to the altar showing the number of days since the last molestation.
I actually love this idea.
I think most Catholic Churches actually have this. They just don't ever get a chance to put the "1" up.
They could have number of hours instead, to give them a chance.
You meant minutes, right?
I think he means seconds.
This is correct, the priests do sometimes ask their boys for seconds.
LOL! Doc's got us back in the funny again.
Oral doesn't count, right?
The nice thing is that it wouldn't even require an official papal mandate for the signs to start appearing. Anyone with a few bucks and access to a Kinko's could make it happen at their area church.
"After the third offense, the offending priest will immediately be moved to another parish. This will give officials time to investigate the case, and will act as an effective deterrent since it usually takes months for priests to gain the trust of the new children." - Dr. B.
Looks like not much would change.
Just a quick question. If the Pope is infallible and he tacitly approved of molestation by covering it up (albeit before he was pope) does that mean that Catholicism, as a whole, is ok with child molestation?
I'm not catholic but my understanding is the pope is only infallible when he makes a statement saying that it is so, not everything he does, say, or think.
This is what my local minister told me when I asked about it years ago.
Strangely enough, doc's comment is the most precise I've yet seen about the Church Pedophilia!
Truly inspired satire from the master.
How sad is it that doc's comment tells the story of what is pretty much what seems to be the current state of the church.
I nearly spit up on myself laughing while reading doc's comment.
Vatican logic: Marry a consenting adult? Swift excommunication. Molest 200 deaf children? No big deal.
Bill Donohue, head of the Catholic League: "The vast majority of the victims of abuse by Catholic priests were post-pubescent so the problem is not pedophilia - but homosexuality"
http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/36075_Donohue-_Catholic_Abuse_Scandals_Not_Pedophilia
so let me see. the church did not cover up pedophilia. the church covered up homosexual rape and sent the rapists from parish to parish. so that is ok? wtf.
I don't even understand how this is supposed to work as a 'defense'.
The Catholic church keeps creating crises for itself. I will not be surprised if, in my lifetime, the US Catholic church splits from Rome.
So the Catholic Church's official position that the age of consent should be lowered to 12 or 13? That's the only way that Donohue's point has any significance.
Guess that lets Roman Polanski off the hook, right Donohue?
fuck Bill Donohue.
And the virgin he rode in on.
if anything the Catholic Church does or says surprises you, well then you're a little naive. I'm not aware of the Catholic Church ever admitting a wrong.
Galileo died in 1642. The Church "lifted its edict of Inquisition against Galileo" in 1992. So they occasionally pseudo-admit a wrong, but it takes a while.
True, they did apologize to Galileo.
Give these raped and molested kids 500 years, they'll get theirs.
Well, that's a poor attempt at spin.
It's NOT homosexuality, Donohue.
It's pederasty and pedophilia.
Those silly gays. Always screwing shit up.
Bill Donahue:
notorious Anti-Semite
http://www.beliefnet.com/News/2004/12/Bill-Jews-Are-Not-The-Enemy.aspx
is probably not a person you ever want to listen to regarding any issue of more significance than a choice of breakfast cereal. Even William F. Buckley knew Donahue was full of shit:
http://old.nationalreview.com/buckley/wfb200412211408.asp
Why people like Larry King
http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2010/04/the-popes-defenders-ctd.html
seek to actively give this "David Duke" of Catholicism any public platform at all to speak is beyond me.
And let's be clear, the Catholic League is really nothing more than its "President," Bill Donahue. I'm not even aware that "they" have other staff. At all.
Why do people let Bill Donohue excuse the rape of children, regardless of age or sexual orientation? Why is this nutcase on TV at all?
Pedophilia is a mortal sin and cannot be forgiven.
Homosexuality, on the other hand, is a venial sin. And every good Christian knows you only need to pray the gay away
If the Catholic church wants to spend millions and getting the laws changed to make the legal consenting age for sex be immediately after puberty, I'd love to see them try (and fail).
Huh, did a religious 'leader' just imply there was something worse than homosexuality, even unintentionally?
This guy makes me embarrassed to be an ex-catholic. Seriously, I grew up around Catholics, but my problem with Catholicism was that it was wrong, not that Catholics were douchebags that need to die in a fire.
Wow. The homosexuals have infiltrated the Church! And only one man stands in the way of these relentless sodomites and your children...
Bill Donohue! Protector of all that is Righteous!™
I tried to watch the video, but between Donohues insanity and sinead o'connor asking "what is post-pubescent" and "at what age do children become post-pubescent in america?" I just couldn't make it.
So Bill, you're telling all of us that priests sexually abusing post-pubescent girls is pretty much a non-issue as far as the Church is concerned?
Think about this argument for a minute.
Just think about it.
Donohue is using the semantics argument to defend priests who sexually assaulted people thanks to their abuse of power. Doesn't matter what the kids' age or sex are, that's what it boils down to. A person in power abusing their authority through sexual abuse. This is no different than a boss forcing someone to do sexual acts on them to keep their job. Last I checked, even when it's two adults, it's illegal. Even when it's two consenting adults, it's illegal. So basically, Bill Donohue is using semantics to defend sexual harrasment and sexual assault.
"Oh, it wasn't rape, she consented!" (under duress and false pretenses)
"Oh, it's not exploitation, she wanted to pose nude!" (because no one else would hire her and she didn't know where else to turn)
"Oh, it's not pedophilia, they had pubes!" (but were still two or three years from being legally able to consent)
Until the Bill Donohues in the world figure out that the problem isn't in the semantics, but the abuse of power itself, the Bill Donohues of the world are not fit to be in positions of power over anyone, let alone highly impressionable 10-14 year old choir boys who think that if they disobey their priest, they're going to hell.
Someone want to tell Donohue that quite a few artists employed by the church were what we now call gay and that it wasn't a secret and no one cared?
What the Christ? I sincerely doubt most gay men are attracted to 13-year-old boys anymore than straight men are attracted to 13-year-old girls.
Seriously, I don't even know what he's attempting to get at here.
that's exactly the argument he made. gay men are attracted to 13-year-old boys. and gay 13-year-old boys wanted it. and gay is the problem because they had pubes.
The real problem is that so many sexy gay teenagers were seducing those poor, innocent priests.
The Catholic church can "do no wrong." This is the fundamental principle that makes them so powerful.
They're just trying to cover it up while
1)deflecting the blame
2)relabeling homosexuals as pedophiles.
Granted, they're quadruple hypocrites for doing this, but remember, the Catholic church can do no wrong.
I believe in Latin the new policy is "If the field has grass, play ball."
Yeah, Catholic Church, real bad and molesty...say where's the outrage over the fact that public school teachers molest kids at a rate 6X that of Catholic Priests?
TROLL DEFLECT!!!!
Deflector shields up, Captain.
DEFLECT!!!!
Someone tell awakeandvomit that it's always the cover-up that causes the biggest scandal. There's less outrage about, say, the teachers doing it because they GET TURNED INTO THE POLICE and most of the time they GO TO FUCKING JAIL, thus getting JUSTICE FOR THEIR VICTIMS. They don't have their bosses covering for them and moving them to different schools and sending secret memos to other teachers warning them to keep their mouths shut in a massive criminal conspiracy to protect child molesters.
I'll turn this around on the other awakeandyodels out there: If a private school was caught HIDING TEACHERS THEY KNEW WERE SEXUAL PREDATORS, moving them to different classrooms, and treating their criminal behavior as an internal problem instead of reporting it to the police, and it was found that this had been going on for DECADES and involved the school's current headmaster, that school would be FUCKING SHUT DOWN. They sure as shit wouldn't be blaming the news media for exposing their massive criminal conspiracy.
It's unreal that someone capable of connecting to the Internet still needs this explained to them.
The main issue is that Bill Donahue is a sick pervert who I wouldn't trust to have within a mile of my kids.
It's not his full-throated defense of the Catholic Church. It's that he is a sick, sick pervert. Would you trust this man who thinks 12- or 13-year old boys are fair game? Just a little homosexual horseplay?
The mere fact that he attempts to downplay any of this reveals some deeply twisted sexual pathology that suggests he harms the Church's PR stance more than he helps. He clearly has a certain admiration for pederasty, and he should be seen in this light--as a perverted, dirty old man.
I watched this guy on foxnews several times spewing garbage. Shocking.
"It's unreal that someone capable of connecting to the Internet still needs this explained to them."
~~jdw1981
but that doesn't matter to him.
catholic church = anti-gay = good/conservative/republican
teachers = unions = bad/liberal/democrat
see? that's all that matters. to him the world is divided into those two groups. If someone in his group did something wrong, it's ok because someone on the other side did it and it's worse because "they" did it.
To guys like Donohue and awakeandasleep EVERYTHING boils down to liberal or conservative. Any normal person would say "rape, and covering up rape is very very bad and should be punished to the fullest extent of the law". But not them. All that matters is WHO committed the rape and who covered it up, and most importantly...WHAT political leanings do they have.
Uh, no. Teachers unions protect molesty teachers and shuttle them from district to district, and make it real difficult and expensive to fire them.
http://www.kpho.com/news/21297146/detail.html
so I go to awake and die's link -
"headline:Teacher FIRED Over Child Porn Allegations."
I swear you are one of the stupidest motherfuckers I have ever seen.
I've always thought you a crafty and subtle discerning troll, awake and obnoxious, changing your game based on the hot-button topics of the day. But c'mon, no one is going to give you the time of day after that. Let's not feed the troll guys.
Regardless of how you split the hairs, there's still a serious problem.
You guys in the Vatican need to fix it. If you don't resolve these issues and allegations, you're going to lose more than just your PR image, you're going to lose a lot of younger members of the church, and the next generation won't forget the abuse and cover ups.
My faith in the church has diminished a lot lately, and rather than be my theological teachers and spiritual guides, you guys are treating the faith more like a corporation with obvious issues hidden and dealt with behind closed doors.
As far as I'm concern my faith in God doesn't have to be correlated with my faith in the church. So fix the problem or these perverted priest, or lose me as a member.
Hey awakeandasleep -- I can give you a dozen instances, with sources, of teachers going to jail for molesting children or for having an illegal relationship with them.
Where are all of the stories of Catholic priests going to jail for the same thing?
See what has people outraged? (I'm guessing you still don't.)
Awake and drool: I pray that your troll skills improve. That's a really bad effort. Only Jesus can help you now.
this guy is our Fred Phelps. fuck you, a&s. Jesus thinks you're a dick.
I was raised Catholic and, despite not believing anymore, I have often thought it may be time to go back to church as a means of exploring my true thoughts and feelings on spirituality.
Then stories like this come up and I know that cannot be.
The lying, the attempts to excuse it all away, the abuse of trust. Sure, it may not happen on a local level, but then again it certainly may. How am I supposed to allow such an institution to guide me morally? I feel cheated.
You know, it's funny...The pastor of my church growing up was gay and I was an altar boy there. Never had a single problem with the guy.
Ladies and Gentleman welcome to the Vatican, and pay no mind to what's behind those doors. Please don't look there, thank you, we certainly don't condone pedophilia, no sir. Please enjoy this lovely cloth with a sketchy imprint. Excuse me, over here. As you can see we do not believe in carbon dating and hope you enjoy the show.
LOL
I have a taco that looks just like Christ! Step right up. That'll be $400.
Never mind the sex scandal behind the curtain! Look over here! The taco, people, the taco!
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
Deep.
If you've seen the Vatican Gift Shop, nothing will surprise you.
They STILL haven't gotten the Jesus stains out of that thing?
How did we get on the shroud of turin?
Hey gang, highandmighty says WE'RE on the shroud of Turin. Huh.
yeah, the vatican is dusting it off and putting it on display this month, no doubt to deflect attention from the pedophile priest business.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/italy/7530444/Turin-Shroud-to-be-exhibited-for-first-time-in-a-decade.html
Jesus was 2D?
I guess you could compare the shroud to the Birth certificate of Obama. Some believe it is real and others not. Each side can produce facts on both sides and yet the other side will refute.
This is not even close to a reasonable comparison. The birth certificate issue was long ago resolved.
http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/birthcertificate.asp
Only willful ignoramuses could possibly believe otherwise.
Awake and Douche: As long as you ignore the fact that one side can actually provide a legal birth certificate, while the other side screams "TEABAG" over and over again, sure, it's a perfect analogy.
Awake and Retarded: Buh-bye. Don't let the door hit you on the way out, etc. etc.
Awake and Retarded: Buh-bye. Don't let the door hit you on the way out, etc. etc.
This display should take the congregation's mind off buggery.
I don't know...check out the backside of that shroud.
HAHAHAHAHA
At the Shroud of Turin show, Jesus toast will open, along with a special guest appearance by Virgin Mary pizza
Please ignore our child-touching priests... HEY! LOOK! An old rag!
I am fascinated and intrigued by this exhibition. Of... wait, no. Actually I don't care at all.
Some bleach or some Tide should take care of that stain.
"Oooh, cloth. Take a picture, honey."
And you wash it down with a Bloody Mary!
Still a proven but 14th century fake. A decade ain't gonna miracle it into being real.
The funniest bit about this is that the Christ image is that of the Western stereotype version that people still, for some reason, think is what Jesus would have looked like.
Well, it's not exactly worthless. It can still be viewed as a Medieval work of art. But an actual image of Jesus? Of course not.
Another, more accurate, description would be, "catholic church sets up fund raising drive after their their charitable donation funds have continually dried up after the discovery of chronic and systemic abuse of children". That's all this is, a fundraiser and a way of making people ignore the whole pedophilia thing and stir up some religious fervor with a fake trinket.
Who has time to think about child-molesting priests when there's a rag to look at?
Babies being raped by priests? Oh no, how can we change the topic? Give them the nappie!
The fact remains that the Shroud of Turin has been conclusively shown not to be any older than the 13th century. It most definitely has been debunked.
However, it still has historical value because it is: a) very old, and b) still captivates millions of people all over the world.
And is a BIG moneymaker for the church, who everyone knows is destitute (sarcasm)
Discovered "Jesus-era"shroud proves Shroud of Turin is hoax
news.nationalgeographic.com — From a long-sealed cave tomb, archaeologists have excavated the only known Jesus-era burial shroud in Jerusalem, a new study says. The discovery adds to evidence that the controversial Shroud of Turin did not wrap the body of Christ, researchers say.
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2009/12/091216-shroud-of-turin-jesus-jerusalem-leprosy.html
If people would read the Bible, that's proof enough that The Shroud of Turin wasn't used to bury Jesus.
John 20:1-7 (NASB)
1 Now on the first day of the week Mary Magdalene *came early to the tomb, while it *was still dark, and *saw the stone already taken away from the tomb.
2 So she *ran and *came to Simon Peter and to the other disciple whom Jesus loved, and *said to them, "They have taken away the Lord out of the tomb, and we do not know where they have laid Him."
3 So Peter and the other disciple went forth, and they were going to the tomb.
4 The two were running together; and the other disciple ran ahead faster than Peter and came to the tomb first;
5 and stooping and looking in, he *saw the linen wrappings lying there; but he did not go in.
6 And so Simon Peter also *came, following him, and entered the tomb; and he *saw the linen wrappings lying there,
7 and the face-cloth which had been on His head, not lying with the linen wrappings, but rolled up in a place by itself.
The face-cloth was a separate garment. No great mystery. The Shroud of Turin is one piece. So..... Nope!
In October an Italian scientist "...reproduced the full-sized shroud using materials and techniques that were available in the middle ages."
http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE5943HL20091005
As a side note: I seem to remember something in the bible about worshiping false idols.
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