HILARIOUS ILLITERACY
Glenn Beck took to his whiteboard to demonstrate how various words revealed a disturbing hidden secret about the Obama administration. It sort of went something like this: Gimme an "Obama!" Gimme a "left!" Gimme the word, "international!" Gimme some "graft!" Here's the reference to "ACORN" that I am contractually obligated to mention once a show! Gimme a "revolutionaries!" Followed by "hidden agendas!" And now, give me a "Y," because surely, the world is staring at Glenn Beck and asking themselves, "Why? Dear God in Heaven, why?" What do you get when you take the first letters of those words and spin them through your Little Orphan Annie decoder rings? "OLIGARHY!" This is NOT A WORD, in any language on the planet Earth.
DIRE WARNINGS
OMGZ! Have you heard that Obama is fashioning himself a private Army, made up of Americorps volunteers? It's true! And who hasn't gazed upon the average gaggle of Americorps volunteers, fresh and clueless from college, and thought to themselves: "From this raw material, I could surely fashion a brutal cadre of fearsome shock troops that will finally bring Western civilization to its knees!" The mere prospect of such a thing happening led Beck to compare President Obama to Saddam Hussein, underscoring the way Hussein attempted to tyrannically "adopt" all of Kuwait's highways.
First, Americorps came for the seniors, and I SAID NOTHING, because it turns out Americorps was just bringing them food, listening to them tell stories about their childhoods, and promising to visit them and stuff.
BECK GETS EMO
Nothing really beats Glenn Beck when he goes on a full-tilt victimization binge. Here's how he ended his show (I didn't watch it, just read the transcript, as follows):
BECK: I'm tired of being a sheep. I'm tired of being a victim. I'm tired of being pushed around. You know what? The gloves come off.
I have no idea who is pushing Glenn Beck around! He gets his very own television show and radio show and book deals and he gets to say whatever in the world he feels like saying and people give him millions and millions of dollars for it. He can have, if he wants, his very own pony at his gigantic and secluded manse to ride on whenever he wants and can hire someone to bake him delicious funnel cakes any time he likes! These are the hard won perks of being a celebrity, earned from having a dedicated fan base.
Nevertheless, he says the gloves come off! A preview: the hands underneath those gloves will be free of callouses and as soft as an infant's tush!
.
132 comments:
Glenn Beck is a sorry excuse for a talking head. His former alcohol/drug addictions, his suicidal family history, his failed attempt at college, his conversion to mormonism, his adhd, his libertarian beliefs DO NOT make this guy a credible voice about ANYTHING.
I am not dissing anyone out there who has had to deal with similar issues or beliefs because we are all human and no one is perfect, but this guy gets on TV, plays the martyred misunderstood neocon and spouts NONSENSE.
Take a walk in the psych ward and you'll find the same misguided rants coming from the patients. Beck is making a fortune off the stupidity of his viewers.
You said: "Beck is making a fortune off the stupidity of his viewers." I couldn't agree more! If EVERYONE were informed, he wouldn't have a show at all! Just goes to show how uninformed and stupid most people are! Again... no child left behind is working! Dumbing a LOT of people down.
Man, when you come back, doc, you do it in a BIG way. Your hilarious satire today has been a good antidote for how down in the dumps I was all Saturday watching the coverage of Senator Kennedy's funeral. What could be funnier than Glenn Beck going full tilt insane.
Glenn Beck's missing "Y" must stand for YIKES!
Soon he'll be singing "They're coming to take me away Ha Ha"
He reminds me of McCarthy. I just can't figure if he's a closer match to Joseph or Charlie.
LMAO!!!
I decided to "take the gloves off", like Beck told me to, and burn all the books in my house (they're evil liberal propaganda), but ...I couldn't find any!!!!
I also decided to cancel any HDTV channels, it's just the Govmnt trying to brainwash me!...
"The gloves comes off." Technically, when you take your gloves off, you're done fighting. When you're in the ring, you have your gloves on. When you're done, the gloves comes off.
You're obviously not a hockey fan.
I thought that was a reference to bare knuckle boxing.
Beck is a waste of good oxygen.
*DRAMATIC MUSIC*...Tune in - next episode when Glenn pulls off his gloves...AND his mask to show the hideous visage of.....*DRAMATIC SCREAM*
So long as that's all he takes off, thank you.
It doesn't matter how many people WATCH this raving mad man.
If nobody's paying. He can do his little skit forever. Without advertisers. For free.
These are Mainstream American companies, refusing to be associated with Glenn Beck.
Walmart, CVS, Sprint.... Not exactly 'liberals'.
Clearly they prefer to appeal to Mainstream Americans--who are the President's supporters.
The loons on my nearby lake have asked that we stop calling Beck a loon. It embarasses and insults them.
Can you blame them? I'm actually fond of the music of loons...as opposed to the ravings of corporate sponsored lunatics.
LoL!! I love it!
Good. The more loony he gets, the more sponsors will be pushed away, and thus he'll get loonier.
A vicious cycle of self-destruction. Couldn't have happened to a more despicable man.
There are very few sponsors left to be pushed away. What will be interesting to see is if the ones who left will come trickling back in the weeks ahead.
I bet the average IQs of his viewers are in the low double digits.
Is there such a thing as a single-digit IQ??
ask my dining room table
Where is that "c", Glenn, as in oligar"c"hy. All praise to you, doc. Why would we care what the Heritage Foundation thinks? It's a Republican think tank --an oxymoron if I've ever heard one.
loonies watch loonies. crazies breed more crazies. moderates flee your republican party.
photo
I have never seen someone so afraid of a black guy in my entire life. lol.
"Obama is going to date your daughters america, he's going to put white people in concentration camps!" (to be fair that was more Michele Bachmann than Glenn Beck, but sometimes the crazy just melds together)
"And he's going to take your guns away! Better stock up on the ammo now! Hunker down whitey!"
And there's going to be drive-thru aborshun clinics too. Right next to Starbux.
I walked into a dealership yesterday for some repair work. As I was waiting, the TV in the lounge was tuned to Glen Beck. I watched for a few minutes and was baffled at the words coming out of his mouth and the way he talks to his audience.
I was disturbing almost as much as it was idiotic.
I asked them to change the channel and they handed me the remote. MSNBC instantly come on.
Three others in the lounge thanked me.
Texas is not all crazy1
GOOD for you!
That's a way to do it. I am the head of safety at a large resort. One of my responsibilities is to protect the guests and staff from harmful things. Fox is turned off on every TV we have.
This works! I ask for the channel to be changed ANYWHERE I am that Fox is on. Most comply when I tell them I won't stay unless they do.
I do the same. Most don't even question it, they just immediately change it. Once someone at a restaurant asked me why. I told her that the sights and sounds coming from their television was so offensive that I was losing my appetite.
She laughed and changed the channel.
Works every time.
You go! I am continually astonished at how many waiting rooms seem to think they have to have a TV going...and how often that TV is tuned to False Not-News.
Oh Glenn,
DO take off the gloves, and dangle them before the camera for effect, if you will...
The world is watching, the whole, big world.
By the way doc... thanks for watching so we don't have to!
Yea, thanks for watching for us doc. Faux news is almost always on tv in the waiting room when I go for appointments & occasionally I ask for remote. More often than not I just go wait outside in fresh air after hearing all that pollution...
doc only screens the crazies for us by searching online, like YouTube, mediamatters.com, etc. I'll bet you a year's income he doesn't watch Fox Noise EVER.
doc finds great pics and cartoons, current newsworthy videos and sound bytes (Rush radio for example) to satirize, or else posts videos of satirists like Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, etc, and the occasional Olbermann monologue. Whenever Palin opens her ignorant mouth, doc lets us know in his blog and finds a video for us of her. you have to see/hear the crazies to believe they're really spouting off this lunacy.
hey Glenn - could you please use "Oligarh" in a sentence?
My dog ate a purple crayon. What came out looked like oligarh.
Does that work? ;-)
It's okay. The people that watch Glenn Beck can't spell anyway. As long as the bile he spews serves as a justification for the prejudices his audience radiates, they don't care about facts either. Sarah can give a whole speech with the word "and" as her only form of punctuation.
Whether or not they can spell, I'll bet most of them can't define "oligarchy"!
Oligarchy may be defined succinctly as "rule by the few," often by the wealthy few.
Thanks i didnt know what it was or that beck spelled it wrong
you're welcome
Wait.....Americorps is Obama's army? Wow, better tell Crazy Michele Bachmann, because her son joined recently!
Glenn's going to have a major meltdown one of these nights. He's going to start crying on air..oh wait..ok never mind..he's going to start spouting really, really out there stuff with no basis in reality....oh wait..ok, well. he's going to have a serious drug problem..oh wait..ok, so a bunch of sponsors are going to boycott..ok never mind..ok so hes's going to sign a book deal and make millions of dollars..oh wait..wow..rewind..
It was like watching the cheese melt on a pizza.
Look on the bright side: all the crazies now have a place to go.
I hope that moon colonization thing picks up speed.
It doesn't have to. Remember, they are extremely gullible. Just tell them that the moon is ready for them, then launch them into the sun.
Sarah's rallies got Obama got elected. Beck's show will ensure Obama's reelection.
It would be almost funny if it wasn't so embarrassing... I sure hope Fox news is not aired abroad !
Well guess what, you can get it in England because I've seen it there. I've also seen Brits absolutely pissing themselves with laughter over the stupidity of it.
Many on the right are sort of adrenaline junkies.
They like how it feels to be angry, suspicious and fearful. It focuses their minds. The problem is, there is no cause for, or support for, the anger, suspicion or fear in the real world.
Their motivated reasoning compels them to seek out "data" and "information" to keep themselves hopped up, and the likes of Limbaugh and Beck provide it by the shovel-full.
So like addicts seeking their next fix, they flock to the radio and teevee when these gut-churners are on, sucking up the latest faux facts and manufactured outrage to slake their thirst for crazy - thereby boosting the ratings and making them look popular.
It is a sign of a sick society that there is no moral center or imperative strong enough within the media industry to simply shut these guys off, and make them stand on a street corner or mimeo leaflets in their basement if they feel the need to pollute the public square with such appalling drivel and bile.
Were media ethics still intact, these bozos would be relegated to the fringes of society where they truly belong - and the anger junkies would have one less thing to keep them hopped up.
Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
H.L. Mencken
Do they keep track of the number of people watching via the internet? I would imagine MANY of the people more likely to watch MSNBC watch it via computer.
False Not-news watchers, and Beckies in particular, are still trying to figure out the new-fangled remote control for the teevee.
ratings for all cable shows are a joke. small numbers, compared to the numbers that watch cbs news every night.... more people watched one episode of big brother than all the cable shows combined.
fox is the ultimate circus side show, behind the tent are freaks, and clowns... and rupert is the ring master.....
Quantity is not quality. Bigger is not better. Louder is not smarter. There are fewer viewers to other shows because there are fewer intelligent people.
I think it would be safer for everyone if Beck was placed in a rubber room.
He is. It's called FauxNews.
Good point.
You know what Beck needs to do to absolutely legitimize his show don't you? Big orange hair, great big round red rubber nose, great big red size 96 floppy shoes and a BOZO SUITE ! That's what !
I knew I had been missing Bozo the Clown since he went off the air, but the Glenn Beck show is just so close to the content (he just as well should get a little clown car too) that he might as well go the rest of the way and be all he can be. I love it. He would totally legitimize and once and for all visually explain his
zany and madcap ideas. Blow it Bozo !!!
love it -- i had a bozo punching bag as a kid, it brings back great memories in light of your comment. :-)
Beck says ask questions. My question is: "How did Beck escape confinement in a lunatic home?" He is absolutely out of his mind! Some day they will fit him for a straight jacket, as he sits squibbling on the walls about coming invasions.
Watching the show there is a sort of train wreck tension. When is he going to completely lose it?
This guy is not just a loon, he is a seditious loon.
Ummm... O-L-I-G-A-R-H spells "oligarh." Oligarh is not a word. LOL [The word is oligarCh. It has a "c" in it.]
If Beck's going to do something ridiculous like this, at least spell-check it.
Party on OliGARTH!
Party on Wayne!
lol I get it. Mike Myers and Dana Carvey from SNL's better days
He can also afford to buy himself a nice rubber room -- in his favorite color -- white.
I think if Faux is smart, they will give him plenty of rope and then after he jumps off the stool, cut him loose
i predict glenn beck will be in the state hospital within 4 years.
LOL.. I think that is why he is a conspiracy theorist... the fear of the impending irony is that it's a STATE run hospital.
you're generous... at the rate that he's losing sponsors, might be more like 4 months...
photo
I wonder if he's tired of being insane...
Do we know for certain that he isn't an escaped asylum inmate masquerading as a talking pie-hole? 'Cause he sure sounds like one! It's almost becoming a surreal, dream-like nightmare, and I keep trying to pinch myself awake ~ surely America is not becoming this insane and stupid ~ but alas, it's not working...
Note to self: put down bottle of water BEFORE reading doc's blog.
The "...he could buy himself a pony..." line: HILARIOUS.
The water up my nose? Less so.
Ask questions? OK.
Why doesn't Beck or any of the dozens of producers, writers, interns, cameramen, anyone at all in the studio know how to spell? Not one person in that entire production entourage, including Beck?
Why does he lash out at Obama for being pushed around, when he's only been in office 7 months and hasn't really managed to push all that much yet?
Is this sense of being pushed around a carry-over from the 8 years of being pushed around by the anti-Constitution Bush administration that pushed though thousands of covert policies, secret agendas, government expansion and deficit spending?
How can a rich white boy who does nothing but push people around via a giant media conglomeration claim to be pushed around and victimized? And why do people who HAVE been pushed around seem so inclined to believe him and empathize with him?
Yeah, it was funny. Beck, ok, he never went to college. But not one person in the room could help him? Not the producer when he wrote it on the board? He's got an earbud, right? "Ahh, Glenn, you're missing a letter"
That's the funniest part. His handlers chuckling in their sleeves watching him go down. EPIC FAIL.
WAIT!! STOP THE TRAIN!! Fox news for the longest time talked about how the LEFT always play the victims??? Now Glenn is the victim??
We have national security forces at work...called the army/navy/airforce/marines/coast guard. States have state policy and local policy...AMERICORPS are cleaning up communities and helping underprivileged kids. I think the Tin Hat is just getting bigger and bigger and eventually he'll go crazy on the air and it will be awesome television!!
Reminds of Sarah Palin slamming Hillary for whining... Then spending a year whining about everything.
photo
You'll be happy to know that both UPS and Chrysler have pulled ALL of their ads from Fox News. :)
http://foxnewsboycott.com/fox-news/ups-pulls-all-ads-from-fox-news-not-just-glenn-beck/
Hope that brightens your day a little. I was in the dumps watching the Kennedy funeral yesterday.
It most certainly does! :D
BECK: I'm tired of being a sheep. I'm tired of being a victim. I'm tired of being pushed around. You know what? The gloves come off.
This is precisely the demographic that Dr.Beck is going for - those who are victims. Victims of imagined conspiracies - the Federal Reserve, fluoride in the water- and imagined wrongs which are keeping them down and disturbing their lives -- affirmative action, desegregation.
And he is getting more bizarre because it's all about the Benjamins. The kookier the show the higher the rating. The higher the rating the more advertisers will want to buy slots.
You'd think so, but then why isn't it working? His psychotic behavior is driving away advertisers.
Maybe he's hoping to pull in advertisers that appeal more to his audience, like redneck beer ads
Yep. The deinstitutionalized mentally ill. Apparently 15% of so of Americans are paranoid schizophrenics. I think it's from the fluoride.
No Mr. Beck, ... I'm sorry, ... now let's take you back to your room where you can lie down until your medicines begin to work.
i never watched glenn beck until doc posted his videos... scares me to think this nutjob has a rabid audience.
Rightwing oracles:
An alcoholic.
and
A drug addict.
Way to aim high, repubs.
Awesome.
So now right wing nut jobs can now add "oligarchist" to the list of contradictory tags they hurl at President Obama.
Yep. They just will not spell them correctly.
As one who has watched Beck purely for entertainment since he first arrived on the CNN then Fox scene, ... I can tell you this man is coming totally unwrapped!
Even if I had never seen him before doc's tapes, I will tell you, ... there is not a lick of sense to anything this guy is saying. That Fox would give Beck a venue in which to spout his irrational paranoid diatribes, ... is a very frightening prospect. He has gone off the edge altogether. I have stopped watching him because it's no longer entertaining; it's painful.
If any radio or TV host had said this kind of stuff about Bush from 2001-2008, they'd have been labeled unpatriotic and scolded for publicly criticizing the president if not arrested for sedition. What a bunch of hypocrites, most all at Fox.
The DNC should run highlights of the Glenn show for weeks before the next election. And then show how the leaders of the GOP condone his insanity. I'm not sure that Reagan's deinstitutionalization of the mentally ill, which gave us millions of homeless people mumbling along our streets, was really a ploy to recruit GOP voters.
Great idea!
I think the sponsors are running away from Beck because they went from just focusing on his ratings to actually watching the show and realizing he is a l00ny they don't want to be associated with.
"From this raw material, I could surely fashion a brutal cadre of fearsome shock troops that will finally bring Western civilization to its knees!"
And they will all be black according to every visual that Glenn Beck has shown all week.
(doc, you aren't alone, I also have yelled out loud at the TV & myself for watching. How you can just mentally silently yell at your laptop so as not to wake Buffy puts me in awe).
The most disturbing aspect to Beck's shows was the film clips he used to foreshadow that the future army were of young black men only a few years older than my grandson.
This is dangerous to my family - otherwise it would simply be comical
Americorps revolutionaries?! Same as the SS or Saddam Hussein’s thug squads?! This is like comparing the Girl Scouts to a prostitution ring.
These are some of Americorps self-described activities:
"AmeriCorps members address critical needs in communities all across America. As an AmeriCorps member, you can:
Tutor and mentor disadvantaged youth
Fight illiteracy
Improve health services
Build affordable housing
Teach computer skills
Clean parks and streams
Manage or operate after-school programs
Help communities respond to disasters
Build organizational capacity "
I can see how fighting illiteracy would scare Glenn Beck. And he can't figure it out, he's "just asking questions."
Americorps is a program developed by the Corporation for National & COMMUNITY Service. All questions and more can be answered here:
http://www.nationalservice.gov/
http://www.americorps.gov/Default.asp
well, jeez, Americorps sounds like a bunch of Godless commies -- affordable housing, literacy? What is next, helping the elderly? My God, Beck is sounding a wake-up call we should all heed. (that is, if we are complete and utter morons...)
This a man who wears magical mormon underwear, and who belongs to a polygamous church.
It serves to prove that the sponsors did the right thing in leaving the show in droves. Who would want their brand associated with that nutcase?
Beck is just the tip of a very dangerous iceberg and we are the Titanic just cruising right toward it.
Look at Glenn Beck's bio on Wikapedia. With a past as troubled as his, it should be evident that this is a man who is seriously damaged mentally and psychologically. And he has the support of his ultimate boss, another damaged soul: Rupert Murdoch.
This is really frightening that fringe wackos that would otherwise be standing on a soapbox on the street are backed by Murdoch and paid tens of millions.
Send in the clowns.
just tune in to fox, they have nearly all of them
I am going to 'Beck-ify" a random thought I had the other day and pose it the same way Beck poses his 'journalistic reports' ...
"I understand that 90% of Republicans are hypocrites and cheat on their spouses even though they claim to be God-fearing Christians. I'm just putting it out there, now let's have a discussion regarding that"
I would only add to your pithy synopsis regarding Republicans that when they do cheat on their wives, it is often with a member of their own sex.
No. Vitter paid a woman to diaper him.
I think Glenn Beck's problem is that he may be slowly going nuts, due to the destruction of his brain cells from previous alcohol abuse and whatever he had when he was hospitalized last year, and it just so happens that the climate of the country, used to Sarah Palinesque statements about death panels etc, is ripe for his rantings. But I don't think its funny and I wonder why his family members don't step in and perform an intervention for the poor man. I used to listen to him on the radio locally before he got his TV show, and he was quirky with some strange ideas, but nothing like this. I think he needs help, way beyond finding more advertisers for his program.
Watch out for the Olagarh!!
LMFAO!! AZ, the other day you commented 'lol', and now you're making me laugh. What is this, if ya can't beat 'em, join 'em?
Way to go AZ. 'Watch out for the Olagarh!!' LMAO
glen beck's show is on at 5 on fox, so because of work, ive never seen him. doc's videos make me think becks a very sick man who cant spell any better than me.
sense of humor and actual insight... AZ has seen the light. Hallelujah
what's behind the change AZ... makes me a little suspicious....
your right, i was copying from forwarded emails and not thinking for myself. i stopped watching fox. i went to http://www.whitehouse.gov/ and read all that Obama's done so far, a lot, and also read this (sorry another copy:)
"Fox won a lawsuit that states the FCC regulations for truth in news programming was just a policy, and therefore unenforceable, so FOX is free to inflate, spin and fabricate the "News" as they see fit."
so i have been lied to, and i wont stand for it. their not fair and balanced, we report you decide, they are liers. I watched kennedy's funeral all day on msnbc and cried a lot for a man i didnt know all the good he did, just the bad car accident. Dems care for everuone, and repubs only for themselves. its like a lite has gone off in my head the fog has cleared and i see for the frst time in many years. im sorry to write so much and please eccuse my spelling and grammer.
you don't listen to rush or watch beck, so you weren't as brainwashed as most neocons, and it's probably easier for you to be 'deprogrammed'. You've come to the right place, AZ. Doc's blog and commenters will rehabilitate you, and with a sense of humor, you'll be just fine. :)
im not stupid and im not crazy, but i can really see how crazy beck is, bachmnann too, how stupic palin is, and how all the people on fox are lieing to america everyday, and doc wont let them get away with it so im on docs side here and wish i was smart like him but im not stupid either.
OK, dude we get it. you've escaped the dark side, and have come over to the light. Try the veal.
LOL be nice
How can people not realize, completely regardless of their voting habits or affiliations, that Glenn Beck is a crazy person? I mean, AZ just said he knows Beck's crazy.
Because the people that like Glenn et al are incapable of forming opinions based on facts and reasonable conclusions.
They are 100% emotional basket cases.
Their politics is driven by hyper-emotional responses to circumstance --
not by intelligent reflection or even sifting of relevant facts.
Glenn and his acolytes can't tell the difference between a fact and an opinion.
They do not have the mental capacity to find facts; they do not have the mental capacity to sift facts; they do not have the mental capacity to connect dots between various facts; and ultimately they are incapable of arriving at a reasonable opinion based on facts and evidence.
THEY DO NOT HAVE THE MENTAL CAPACITY TO DO SO.
Instead they rely on their visceral emotional response to things --no matter how irrational. illogical or ignorant-- and call that emotional response their "political opinion" -- their "position" on this issue or that. In short, their opinions are based on sheer emotional hysteria and nothing else.
And they believe that their groundless inane "opinions" should get equal weight as the opinions of intelligent thinking people. FOX gives their opinions even more weight... It's absurd. The "opinions" of these non-thinkers do not belong in the public debate. The MORONS who years ago dared not speak their ignorant "opinions" are now screaming them in front of cameras at town hall meetings.
iwent to a town hall meeting to ask quetions, most people did and it ran smoothley for a while till some aggitators shouted everuone down
So i didnt get my questuions asked, but i did get angry! at the republican goons! Now I'm FOR health care. I haven't read one good reason not to have health care reform, and no one'e going to scare me with fear lies and negative opinions I'll be checking out each of those opinions for truth, for facts! and i'm sure the breakdown will be Dems 90% truth, Repubs 10% lies.
stick around here & get 're-educated' I'm really happy for you.
BUT you may be highly vulnerable ... stay away from FOX. No talk radio. No Limbaugh. No automatically accepting and forwarding email propaganda, or going to rignt wing websites, or to teabagging or birther rallies, carrying posters someone told to to say.... none of this, until you think you can watch and listen detatched and objectively.
If we're gonna prosecute torturers then Glenn Beck has to go down for what he's done to logic.
Glenn Beck is so evil he's actually the opposite of good. Therefore good's existence necessitates there be Glenn Beck in the World.
Fact: Glenn Beck is more full of shit than your average septic tank.
another fact: Glenn Beck is so bat-shit crazy I'm amazed he's not one of my ex-girlfriends.
How can anyone listen to Glenn Beck for wisdom? He's a former coke-head & a current Mormon. Clearly he makes bad choices.
fact: Ann Coulter banged Rush Limbaugh in the ass with a strap-on and 9 months later he shit out Glenn Beck.
I wonder if Glenn Beck would support the new health care bill if we agreed to cover crazy pills?
Glenn Beck says most Americans don't see color. Which would explain why I always thought Glenn Beck was a really dumb black guy.
Post a Comment