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Dr. B.

Dr. B.

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Monday, August 31, 2009

AMERICA LESS SAFE WITH PALIN NO LONGER KEEPING EYE ON RUSSIA Former Gov. Urges Wasillans to Fill Security Void


Former Alaska governor Sarah Palin said today that America was less safe now that she was no longer keeping an eye on Russia, but added that she hoped other Alaskans would step up to fill the security void she has left.

"What with me being out and about trying to progress the agenda of so many Americans out there, it's not possible for me to be seeing when Putin's rearing his head like I used to be doing," she said.


She urged fellow residents of her hometown, Wasilla, to keep an eye out for the suspicious activities of any Russians they might see from their front porches.


"It's just like a neighborhood watch, only with the neighborhood being America and the watching we're doing not being for car thieves and all but for Communists with big furry hats," she said.


She also admonished the media to "quit making things up," adding, "that's my job."


In other news:

  • Congress urged Americans not to get sick until after the August recess.
  • Palin Update: A spokesman for the former Governor denied rumors that the Palins were divorcing, saying, "It's not like her to walk out on a commitment."
  • Carrots are good for your eyes but only if you take them orally.




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119 comments:

palin in a towel said...

Well, that sums it up.

Bookmark this page, and in 2012 simply email the link to everyone to remind them why to vote for anyone but her.

longtimeamericalover said...

great idea! of course it won't matter to some people, but the election restored my faith that the majority of americans know a lemon when they see one.

costadelbarto said...

You betcha!

Joey B said...

Palin may not be president - but she will probably become rich.

demninja said...

Maybe not at the rate she is going now. She should be raking in the speaking fees, but she keeps bailing on her engagements.

cynicallarry said...

She's too busy with her Facebook updates to be bothered to speak in public! ;-P)

123dee said...

Is this news?

I mean, she bailed from her elected office as governor! Of coarse skipping speaking engagements would be up her alley.

Dr Mum said...

Perhaps instead of speaking live, they can just put her facebook page on a jumbo-tron and she can write them a message.

freshfunk5 said...

I'm sure she can string together some Chinese fortune cookies and come up with a speech for any event. on short notice.

keepingfaith said...

I suspect Sarah is busy writing her book and the crayons keep breaking.

Wumpie said...

if she keeps disrespecting her own base like this, eventually even they will understand that the woman is some yeast short of a sourdough starter...

Lisa said...

She went to NY last month to get a face/neck lift. She is still recovering and will greet her public on Faux News after the swelling and redness is gone. wink, wink.

TXfemmom said...

She is totally scatter brained. I seriously think she had a nervous breakdown and that was the reason she left office. She appeared to have a shortness of breath and made sharp gasps for air between sentences. Now she has someone to manage her facebook postings and she just rambles incoherent twits every once in a while. You can surely tell when Sarah types and someone else types her messages.

snuffaluffagus said...

cookoo cookoo cookoo

hardcorelib said...

photo

How anyone could support this fruitcake is beyond me. This woman can't even come up with an original lie to post on facebook for pete's sake. She has to take someone else's lies and run with them. She's so disorganized that she can't schedule speaking events. Regardless of one's ideology, I just can't believe people support her.

Paka74 said...

Why should she go out in public when the media reports her Facebook drivel unchallenged? The media's constant reporting of her claims of "death panels" was an insult to journalism.

jimbei said...

Isn't she only an unemployed housewife and mother now? Who gives a shit what she says on her facebook page. As for speaking engagements, well... doesn't seem to me her gibberish is worth listening to any more, if it ever was.

3primecubed said...

She's looking in Manhattan for the best surgeon to give her a "B00B" job, she thinks stupid can be surgically removed. "I need to be more smarter, I'm gonna be on FOX!"

MObamican said...

Careful what you say........it might come true...

dianhow said...

She should get back in politics. The GOP needs another unstable female flake.

turkeyinthestraw said...

They have one, Michele Bachmann

Shar said...

And now Lynn Jenkins (R - KS), who said the GOP is is searching for a "great white hope" to stop President Obama's policy agenda.

Read more:

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/2009/08/28/2009-08-28_congresswoman_jenkins_says_sorry_for_great_white_hope_quip.html

semisarcastic said...

Palin, Bachmann, Jenkins, Taitz...

When will the mother reptile stop laying eggs????????

rumplestiltskin said...

LOL!!! Hopefully never; too entertaining!

yermammy said...

Don't insult reptiles by associating with these unevolved primates.

rxvettte said...

Semisarcastic also insulted eggs. Actually, anything you compare them to would be insulted.

alaskan99577 said...

She's either too busy Tweeting word salad slogans or attending emergency session with Thomas Muthee, her Kenyan witch-hunting exorcist.

adlib said...

She's a couple sled dogs short of a team.

The salmon don't run all the way up stream.

She's not the sharpest knife at the turkey slaughter.

Jacob Von Hogflume said...

She's a few cards short of a royal flush? lol

aaronx said...

She should be flushed.

miss mary said...

LMAO

nostradamus said...

Bailin Palin:

Organizers of an Anchorage event that has been billing Sarah Palin for weeks as a star speaker were left scrambling Wednesday after learning that the former governor won't be there for tonight's event and claims to have never been asked.

It would be at least the fourth time in recent months that an anticipated Palin speech has fallen through after Palin and her camp disputed they had ever confirmed it. That includes the brouhaha over whether she'd speak at the annual congressional Republican fundraising dinner in Washington, D.C., this summer.

http://www.adn.com/palin/story/912369.html

glitch said...

In all fairness, sometimes the facial swelling takes many weeks to go down after having work done. That being said, here is Sarah even denying she accepted this invite to speak AGAIN. She missed this anti-choice rally and that won't sit well with her tongue-talking base.

ranting tommy said...

photo

I can understand how some conservatives might appreciate Sarah Palin's philosophy, political and otherwise.

I CANNOT understand how they can overlook her irresponsible behavior, such as forcing her pregnant unwed daughter into the limelight, quitting the governor's job in the middle of first term, and now repeatedly making commitments which she doesn't keep. Is this the person they want in HIGH OFFICE?

All she is contributing at this point is blogs full of incendiary fabrications. By the time the next election campaign begins, I think her favorable rating will be somewhere around 30%, maybe lower. This is a relief.

I think that what God whats Sarah Palin to do is settle down and be a good mother ! I won't even begrudge her the money she's going to make from her book, if she just goes away.

revjeff said...

Wait--let me guess. She wanted to bring along her pack of kids, ex-first dud Todd, and both grandsons; and have them all fly first class, stay in a four star hotel, and get new clothing. Of course she would require a hair stylist and a makeup artist too, cause she's a saint and they get special treatment, and did you know Trig is special needs? Well, he is. Oh and also her facebook ghostwriter would need to come along too, so Sarah would have something to say, even if it all came out manic and garbled at the end like a certain resignation speech.

The sponsors thought about what clueless inanity was likely to come out of SP's mouth, calculated the risk to their organization, then read today that she was actually crazy enough to align herself with Glenn Beck, and said "thanks, but no thanks...you're not worth the trouble."

ThomasPatrick said...

Palin thinks so little of the people who still support her. How 'bout when the inevitable book signings come up, they tell her they'll show up and then nobody goes.

jewbag said...

....and then she would blame MSM.

Christina said...

Didn't Joe the Plumber have like 4-5 people? She'll probably have fewer (if she even shows up!)

sixfingers said...

OK, then event organizers just have to start paying her AFTER she shows up for whatever speaking event.

This pay-in-advance thing is obviously not working out so good...

palin 4 moosecatcher said...

Meg Stapleton: "The good news first: It's a speaking engagement filled with your supporters for a cause you champion. No MSM in sight, just your adoring fans."

Palin: "What's the bad news?

Stapleton: "It's in Alaska."

Palin: "WTF? If you think I'm leaving a luxury hotel where I can Facebook all day long with my friends, order room service at 2 a.m. and miss getting his and hers manicures and pedicures with Todd for a trip back to the tundra, you're crazy. That's why I quit, er I mean, answered my higher calling in the first place!"

mainemomma said...

she gets more attention from NOT doing something than if she did.
Shes a freaking genius.

stevier said...

She is a Borderline Personality Disorder

obamarican said...

BINGO!

abigail said...

Now we're insulting those with Borderline Personality Disorder.

cltclt said...

Please never put Sarah Palin and genius in the same sentence ever again. I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.

Andrew S said...

give her time and she'll be a Twitter quitter too

kiwiscanfly said...

She is just a mess. A train wreck in slow motion.

shanghai slim said...

This is incredible. What kind of administrative help does she have, if any? Why is everything getting lost?

Every invitation should be immediately acknowledged, and if it's turned down, explained as to why, i.e., Ms. Palin has a previous commitment on that day, to wrestle a late-night comedian in a vat of Jell-O.

This is not rocket science!

adlib said...

Palin: "Geez, for the soldiers sake, could you quit makin' stuff up? Rockets? Yes!! I'm for them. Science? No. I never did get that fruit fly stuff, so I'm going with no. Administrative help? Nope. Don't need any. 'Member I ran a state with a budget of zillions of tax payer hand out dollars, before I quit to fight of course. I got much more experience than that Barack whatzisname community organizer pallin' around with terrorist guy. And as for wrestlin' with late night comedians? I'll only do it over on Facebook. Or pay per view. I'll talk to Todd and get back to ya with that. You betcha!"

(seriously, I could do this all day, lol)

CommentoErgoSum said...

Ironic that she would abort a speech for the Alaska Family Council. I guess she just doesn't stand behind her silly beliefs...you betcha

heavyload6 said...

Color me surprised!! LMAO!

What a TOOL!! "Moosefuck Barbie" strikes again.

Anyone who thinks this (ahem) person has even THREE braincells that communicate regularly is beyond pathetic.

Excuses. Hypocrisy. Bigotry. And just straight up lies.

Yup! The complete package.

Average American said...

Bails out on another event? That's what she does. It's her job description.

maven said...

yeah, Bailin Palin is FAR too busy whipping up hate on her Facebook page to leave the house right now....

http://www.facebook.com/search/?q=sarah+palin&init=quick#/sarahpalin?ref=search&sid=1221652579.1781758158..1

magnus_the_rhino said...

Tough cookies, Alaska Family Council. You should know by now that the only thing the Quitter Queen can't quit quitting is quitting itself.

petra said...

She does not have the intelligence to address any public issue reasonably.

adlib said...

She's as reliable as a health insurance company after a cancer diagnosis.

goin broke said...

The dog ate her appointment book.

zakfish88 said...

Busy recovering from a face.lift.

Ravenback47 said...

from an eye realignment.

longtimeamericalover said...

This sounds suspect - Palin bailing on 4 events, that I am sure she knew about, regardless of what her spokesperson says. Isn't that what she claims she left the governor's office for - "to be able to help .... and speak on behalf of those that needed her."

Maybe she can't bill her travel/trips to the governor's office any more, thus she is a NSNC (no show, no call).

Big Sis said...

Or working on what's really important to make her a shoe in for viability as the 2012 republican candidacy: Some nip and tuck work so she'll be camera ready for all the Fox news interviews she's going to do.

Mnemia said...

hmmm interesting thought.. and totally plausible..

JerrysKid said...

obviously, there just isn't enough room in that pointy little head for details like speaking engagements, reading comprehension, nursing schedules, and honesty.

seenitall said...

....as well as governing a state that has less population than Memphis, TN

Gretchen30 said...

So she quit the governor's office so she would have more time to... not show up for engagements near and dear to her heart?

When will people see how much of a fake she is? I'd even pray if I thought there's a chance this fool could be prayed away.

canarypapers said...

yeah, it is strange that people don't see it like we see it. And she uses the same lame excuse every time - again, blaming someone else.

LibertyHiller said...

Yup. Remember she blamed McCain and his pesky staff because she lost her bid for the presidency.

mbdmamma said...

Praise our wonderful Lord Jesus Christ that I will finally get my wish to see our Sarah speak at tonight's event. I have been laid up in the hospital for eight months after a gory snow blower accident and convinced my doctor to let me out three weeks early to attend tonight's event. Canceled the down payment on the new mobile home to pay for airfare, but it's worth seeing my beloved Sarah. God bless you, and God bless Sarah.

Wait, what?....


fuck

trouzourt said...

If she committed murders her fans would ride along with her. that's how serious it is.

crystalwolf said...

Guess she's too busy preparing her next blog for her Facebook page. Must take hours to prepare such masterpieces.

pensiveobserver said...

Even though they look as they've been pharted out at the last minute.

loonatic112358 said...

Where and why is she hiding? That's the real question.

I'm thinking that Sarah thought she would be "better" by now and thought she could make an appearance, but she isn't, so she takes the low road and blames the organization who contacted her to speak. She's great at throwing other people under the bus.

What a flake.

I hate stupid people said...

She's reading and studying everything that she can get her hands on and working on her book night and day. She is also studying civics, history and political science so she can be as sharp as possible in the many debates she will have to endure on her way to her rightful ascension as the 2012 republican candidate for POTUS.

Or: She's getting a nip and tuck or two to keep her base in rapture and the eighty year old white men of her party all fired up when she walks into a room.

TheIndependent said...

She was probably asking for a guaranteed cut of the gate and when it didn't look like it was going to be big enough, she decided she'd never heard about it.

PhilipMunger said...

Sarah is in hiding somewhere. According to the article she isn't in Alaska but Stapleton wouldn't say where she is.

We know she cannot be allowed to appear in public because if she starts speaking the sham will be exposed. You can have a ghostwriter but you can't have a ghostspeaker - (well.. there are ventriloquists and their dummies... maybe she could move her mouth while Terry Fador throws his voice)

CatladyLinda said...

Same thing when she was the VP candidate---Her "Handlers" did not make her go out on her own, or appear on the SERIOUS talk shows without a script in her hands, they KNEW she was not capable. In other words...if they took off the training wheels she would fall flat on her face. Same thing happening now, only those handlers are not with her, what she has is "First Dude" and his pals "advising" her. There is no One to prepare her speeches, she can't do it on her own (polished one) anyway. So she is in a dilemma. Her charade is being exposed slowly ...and her fake "Knowledge of Stuff" will soon be put to a real test (which she is avoiding as we see). If she want's to be in the BIG LEAGUES, why not go and play with the Big leaguers? Sucking up to Beck and the like are not helping her resume one bit.

Ogre said...

I think Cheney has her in an undisclosed location and is downloading his evil plans for America on to her new microchip.

I just read that he is "vacationing" in Alaska right now. co-wink-e-dink?

gluchnurse said...

She's too busy watching Glenn Beck & updating new lies on her FB page.
That's where she started the death panel lie, on Facebook.

redelf said...

I bet she realized the speaking engagement was going to conflict with Glenn Beck's show. She never misses an episode. It's where she gets all her mavericky ideas from.

skippydoorknob said...

LMAO

ill in illinois said...

South Carolina has Mark Sanford. Alaska has Sarah Palin.

cclawyer said...

Apparently she's not in Alaska, maybe she's "hiking" somewhere.

ad hoc said...

Does she have a dude hidden in Argentina?

JerryFromCalifornia said...

Who the hell is paying the wages for the people in her "camp"?

DJ BA Rock obama said...

probably all free volunteers from the 800,000 'friends' on her facebook.

Do NOT go there, by the way. The sheer comment amounts of dumb and hate will revolt you

hawkrew said...

Only one of three reasons would fit this "absence" - let's vote


1) rehab

2) someones pregnant

3) a nip and tuck

Pancake said...

I'll take Door Number 1 Don.

obama4life said...

4) She still trying to figure out Twitter.

Kristen said...

must be doin' some readin' and cyperin':

Palin: I've read most of them, again with a great appreciation for the press, for the media.
Couric: What, specifically?
Palin: Um, all of them, any of them that have been in front of me all these years.

Anachronist said...

I always wondered why she had to have any of them, all of them, ''in front'' of her. What's amazing is that SP really thinks the Oval Office is in her future. I think not.

Ellyllon said...

Well, they look nice and I assume impressive looking to her when fanned out on a cocktail table.

TomInJax said...

She woulda done it...'cept it required her to speak more than 120 characters.

That was a problem.

madbonger618 said...

The quitter on Twitter, pullin' "facts" from the shitter.

proshot22 said...

Quitty Pants quit again.

Suck it up Buttercup, you're done.

She's probably in a booby hatch at an undisclosed location, whilst Todd gets the divorce papers in order.

Newsmonger said...

“Sarah Palin Flake Out”

1. GOP Winter Retreat in D.C. - said she couldn’t come because there was too much work to do back home, but was actually attending the swanky Alfalfa Club Dinner down the street.

2. CPAC Conference- Smitten conservatives on Team Sarah had online groups saving pennies to go hear their idol speak at the convention. Cancelled at the last minute stating she had never said she would be there despite claims by the organizer and heavy promotion on the website.

3. Republican Senate and House Fundraiser – According to organizers, she said yes to delivering the keynote address. Then she denied saying yes, and left the committee in the lurch forcing a last minute replacement by Newt Gingrich.

3A. Republican Senate and House Fundraiser Take II - Invited a second time. Said yes she would, then no she wouldn’t, then got disinvited and replaced by Newt Gingrich, then said yes she would, then they said forget it, but then she did….sort of.

4. Fancy Republican Women’s fundraiser in Simi Valley at Reagan Library - High priced tickets promoted online and sold, then the claim she never said she’d be there and money had to be refunded. Simultaneously thumbs nose at women, Republicans, rich people AND the ghost of Ronald Reagan.

And now this latest entry.

Where is she, and what is she doing? Sorry everyone counting on her appearance, that information is classified according to her mouthpiece Meg Stapleton.

Juno Mary M said...

In November 2006, she took a solemn oath to serve Alaska as Governor and bailed out. That is the worst bail out. Standing up salivating followers is nothing. Perhaps it is also designed to heighten the desire.

mspye said...

Bail on first scheduled event- shame on you.

Bail on second event- ..................

Bail on 3rd- ...................

Bail on 4th- shame on the desperate fool that set the thing up to begin with

JaneTheAvenger said...

What they need to do for poor Sarah is just have a laptop set up at the podium with a projection screen so that she can type out some facebook-style incoherent rants. That's her real forte. But maybe for the visual she could show up in some fishing waders.

oldenoughtoknowbetter said...

As long as Sarah stays behind the facebook (which I will never believe she writes) and stays out of public view we can move forward. When she comes out of her closet and into the light it better not be in the lower 48, for she will run right smack into the left. It will not be pretty and her family that she always throws under the bus will all be in the spotlight as well as her insanity. She is a loser and doesn't know her 15 minutes is over and has been over for a long time.

Sarah Palin is a moron said...

Not enough money to appear? Nothing to say? Catching up on her reading? Writing her memoirs? Can't reach Glenn Beck for some new material? Clothes from the RNC haven't arrived? Searching for health care coverage for grandchild, child of an of out-of-work, unmarried, daughter? Too cold in Alaska this time of year?

Maybe just plain tired of the work she's continued to do for her home state constituents since she quit her day job.

lyrical said...

the fact that she thinks she is qualified to be president is of little concern
the fact that others do
and would vote for her

is terrifying

docwang said...

Exactly! I am more terrified of her supporters. They are the most delusional people ever.
Just reading the comments on her facebook fan pages scares the shit out of you.

Example:
"WAKE UP AERICA, this collapse of capitalism will occur overnight and our freedoms will go with it."
" The government is plotting for decades against American people something sinister!...their are hundreds of thousand caskets are prepared for millions of Americans."
" there will be a marxist/socialist framework of a governmnt in place. If thi health care passes, te government will be in con...trol of 55% of our GDP."
"Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck - The beginning of an American Revolution"
" They can not refute the facts Glen is bringing to light about this administration"
"Obama Wants to Bankrupt YOU..."
"We must be nformed too !!!! Watch Fox TV."

All of those comments were from ONE SINGLE page of Sarah Palin's facebook.
I need a handful of xanax to relax me now.

mad cathy said...

Former voters of "W"?

AZ INDY said...

i just went to her facebook page for the first tiem. the people their are batshit crazy. I was for McCain a war hero and respectd senator , and didnt think much about her except how she looked, and obama, well im not racist i hope, but i really didnt think america would vote for a black man. Iwas wrong, and glad of it. if McCain had a heart attack or something and palin were president our country world b e fucked.

canto do galo said...

You weren't the only one suckered AZ. Sarah was a long shot, picked by Republicans because she could be manipulated (while appearing to be adamantly independent), and a person desperately seeking great status, and she had a connection with pseudo-religious people, rednecks, backwater people, and Limbaugh disciples. Also, she was good looking and fit the Republican desired image of rugged individual. My guess is that she will be dumped by Republicans when they feel they have exploited her as much as they can, and they will make way for a Republican candidate that has the right connections with the U.S.aristocracy. I believe "Joe the Plumber" the other great hope, has already been dumped.

alaskan angel said...

I moved out of Alaska - after 13 years, 12 of which I worked for state government, and better than 2 for Palin - a few weeks before she was picked by the McCain campaign for the VP slot.

As most Alaskans will attest, Before Sarah Palin (BSP), when traveling Outside, as an Alaskan I was generally met with good will and wonder, as people who had never been viewed Alaska as a place of mystery and awe, and those who had been confirmed this view.

But now, when I tell people I moved from Alaska after a decade plus, they respond with amusement and/or horror. To be sure, that reaction is not universal.

There are people I meet who believe Palin is the second coming of Ronald Reagan - but they give little thought to the natural wonder of the state, wanting instead for me to confirm their faith in her greatness.

It's just plain sad and embarrassing. 50 years after statehood, Alaska has become a national (possibly worldwide) joke in the eyes of most (even republican) Americans. All because the McCain camp failed to do their due diligence.

I have faith The Last Frontier will recover from the blight that is the Sarah Palin Phenomenon, but it will take many years before the state recovers its mystic pre-BSP.

obamamama said...

I don't blame Alaska for electing Palin! How can we point a finger at you, when this country elected Bush twice?

nana4g said...

Well, sort of 'elected' Bush. :)

spaindad said...

I hold John McCain and his handlers responsible for the Palin debacle, and not the people of Alaska.
I knew she was a danger (and stupid, to boot!) the MINUTE she snarkily put down community organizers in her convention acceptance speech. I knew girls like her in junior high through high school. They were bullies, and master manipulators. She's a propaganda pro, but I'm finding her more and more impotent every day. Now she's nothing more than an unemployed housewife/mother as an earlier commentor said.

eskimolover said...

Don't forget the canary in the coal mine....Anne Kilkenny. When I googled Sarah Palin the day McCain lost his marbles, I found Anne Kilkenny's detailed, factual letter about her own experiences with Palin in Wasilla...and I started reading everything I could.

Anne really had an astounding impact with that viral letter, and in an indirect way saved us as much as anyone from John McCain's astoundingly shallow judgment call.....

If anyone hasn't read it, just google her name. You will see in a nutshell why the voters made the right decision and said NO to McCain/Palin.

Trifecta said...

YIPES!

ProudObamacan said...

As a conservative, Christian Republican, I was first thrilled with the selection of Palin who had such high ratings in her own state.

In only a matter of days, I realized the "Naughty Monkeys" were empty and then I wondered how she had convinced Alaskans to elect her governor.

Thanks to the wonderful Alaskan bloggers who kept telling the truth while the McCain team tried to cover up the facts.

I can not remember a more polarizing political figure in recent years. How can this woman call herself a Christian and spew forth such hatred and venom?

It is thanks to her that I voted for President Obama and switched parties. Best thing I ever did.

Gustavsaves said...

Bush had 8 years to destroy our economy, and run this country into the ground, and still the Republicans are gaining ground because it hasn't turned around in 7 months.

I mention this because I strongly believe Palin will be back, and I am very fearful that next time we just may be apathetic enough to elect her.

I have seen her Facebook page. She has a frightening number of very frightening followers.

Anais said...

It is those followers that frighten me too. She brings together the scariest of fringe groups: The Anti-Women's group, the Evangelicals, and those that think the Second Amendment is the only Amendment in the Bill of Rights.

In other words, three single-issue voters with only their racism in common.

adlib said...

Sarah Palin's solution for America includes retro-fitting houses with new energy efficient "death panels"

ikeedikeed said...

Reading the ravings of Sarah Palin's fans on her Facebook page feels like bathing in a waterfall of stupid.

guitarhero said...

LMFAO

jodi said...

ROTFL

oregon_ivy said...

LOL

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