In a landmark deal that could provide much-needed cash to America's anemic economy, China agreed today to acquire the naming rights to the U.S. for a reported $1.4 trillion.
The deal, which is expected to be signed by President George W. Bush and Chinese president Hu Jintao sometime before Inauguration Day on January 20, was hailed today by Mr. Bush as a "win-win" for both countries.
"We get 1.4 trillion dollars, and all we have to do is change our name to 'Panda Garden,'" Mr. Bush told reporters at the White House.
The president said he decided to make the extraordinary deal after being shocked to learn that the U.S. was in a recession, when it was reported yesterday in Duh magazine.
According to President Hu, the Chinese had originally inquired about purchasing the rights to two American sports facilities named after troubled companies, Ford Field in Detroit and Citi Field in New York, but then decided it might be more cost-efficient to buy the rights "to the whole shebang."
In addition to the $1.4 trillion, the Chinese government said that it would provide $10 million to commission a new national anthem that would somehow incorporate the words "Panda Garden" in the lyrics, and to redesign the nation's flag, which will henceforth be known as "the stars, stripes, and adorable bear."
(PS: It's official: We've Been in a Recession since Dec. '07... The National Bureau of Economic Research declares what most Americans already knew: the downturn has been going on for some time). http://money.cnn.com/2008/12/01/news/economy/recession/?postversion=2008120115
46 comments:
This recession began the day that some Republican economist decided that "Deficits don't matter." It accelerated when other Republicans pushed a approach to governance that the "markets are the best regulators of themselves".
Essentially, this recession began under the administration of Reagan and all the past 8 years did was bring the Reagan "borrow and spend" philosophy to its logical end. Republicans have nearly gotten what they strived for, the destruction of FDR's New Deal.
Since Reagan's policies began to take effect in mid-1982, the economy has only experienced two short and shallow recessions, one from late 1990 to spring 1991 and the other in 2001. In contrast, the economy before Reagan's policies took effect experienced the massive 1980 to mid 1982 double dip recession, the nasty mid-1973 to mid-1975 recession, the late 1960 to late 1970 recession, the 1960 recession, the nasty 1957 thru 1958 recession, and the mid-1953 to mid-1954 recession. In hindsight, it appears that the economy performed significantly better under Reagan policies (1982 to present) than the previous policies, although the growth period of 1961 to 1968 was substantial until the winds of inflation made the unions greedy and the wage inflation remained rampant and uncontrolled until Volker stamped it out by 1982.
Tell us how wages have increased to keep up with inflation.
Baloney. These events correlate better with wars than with Reagan.
http://americanhistory.about.com/library/timelines/bltimelineuswars.htm
[keepingfaith: "In hindsight, it appears that the economy performed significantly better under Reagan policies" ]
But you'd have to be ignoring the massive debts he and other Republicans have created, thus failing the "Deficits don't matter" requirement
In late 2006 is when I started seeing the housing market slow down. By 2007 it was really slow and by 2008, it was dead in several parts of the country.
Speculators don't have to tell us when they assume recession began. The American public KNOWS when it truly began. We're in a depression right now. What do you call an economy in foreclosure hell, millions of people unemployed, vehicles repossessed, empty food pantries and much more?
Ok, here's the deal. The markets are said to look ahead and be out in front by at least 6 months. In fact, looking at dips many pundits humorously observe that the market has called 21 of the past 5 recessions. Now it seems with the high being in October, 2007 that the recession started essentially one month later. Also, it only backed off its high by about 10%, a normal correction in a bull market, in the spring of 2008, 4 months into the recession. The crash in this case happened in September of this year, 10 months into the recession. This behavior has happened one other time. In 1929, the recession began in the summer while the market peaked in September; it only backed off a little prior to the crash in October of 1929. The rest as they say is history, enjoy.
Paragraphs? Anybody? Hello? (sigh)...
The S&P 500 dropped 20% off its October 2007 highs in both January and March of 2008. The stock market crash in September occurred because of the turmoil in the credit markets. The current economic weakness is occurring mostly because of the seizing up in the credit markets from September until now, although it's better now than in late September and October. I don't understand your attempted correlation of the stock market to the economy between 1929 and now.
yawn......
That you fail to grasp the obvious is not surprising. In both cases the markets did not anticipate the recessions. In both cases the markets remained elevated until well into the recessions. The breif dips you describe were follwed by retracements to higher levels. This pattern indicative of a normal correction in a bull market. The pundits at that time said as much. It is intrinsically obvious to the most casual observer that these two scenarios are similar and both are distinctly different than usual market behavior in past recessions.
Maybe in about two more quarters, you will.
This recession began more than 1 year ago...
It's just that the old indicators no longer apply...
People have been suffering and feeling this since just after 2004 when Greenspan had to start raising the interest rates he kept low falsely to prop up this failed Bush administration....!
I agree 100%. Greenspan's artificially low interest rates were a main culprit in this crisis. If they had been set at a more prudent level, the "free market" may have corrected itself a little better, and maybe some of the pain could have been avoided. Maybe a little. Just FYI, I'm in no way a believer in "free markets"...
Greenspan should be arrested.
somebody send in the clowns!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Guess the fundamentals of the economy weren't so strong after all, eh Senator McCain?
It normally does not take them a year to pull this rabbit out of their nether regions.
There's a stinky rat in this somewhere.
Follow the money.
Wrong. The start of this recession was 2000 in the last months of Bill Clinton's term. Bush took over and decided to keep it around for 8 years though his terrible economic plans. We have been in a single long recession for the entire Bush presidency.
Um wasnt the whole GOP convention about how the recession was all in the Democrats heads? I dont think that we can believe one number that comes from a Republican until they get their acts together.
At least now I feel vindicated after all these months I have been saying the economy is in a recession while my GW lap dog acquaintances shouted me down for not knowing what I was talking about. All I can say to them is see I told ya so.
I bet we find out sooner than later that bush was cooking the books
No no no no no. EVERYBODY knows the recession began at exactly 11:00pm Tuesday November 4th, 2008 when the networks officially called the election for Barack HUSSEIN Obama! It's all His fault! it will always be HIS fault! Don't bombard me with facts! LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA
US Recession Began One Year Ago, Government Says
no shit, sherlock
My sentiments exactly. What really made me go beserk was the business news everyday saying the market went down due to "FEAR" of recession. Now that we know that we have been in recession maybe the fear will go away and the market will just go down because we ARE in recession.
Bush should have been impeached. He has led this world into a craphole recession and now its gonna take one man to clean up the mess he has left behind. His legacy will go down as the worst president ever. I just wish we can throw him out now and put Obama in.
let's not impeach Bush. Wait till January 20th and ARREST him.
Whoa, wait a minute! All the so-called experts on Fox News were telling us the past year that the economy was growing and in good shape and that any recession was not in the foreseeable future.
Then we had Bush and his propaganda wing telling us that everything was fine, nothing to worry about, as they doled out stimulus checks.
Then we had Phil Gramm telling us it was all in our heads, that we were delusional if we actually believed we were in a recession.
Why were they behaving that way one must wonder? Oh yes, electioneering. Trying to rig the outcome of an election just like in 2000 and 2004.
I see what they were trying to do there....
this means that the Bush Administration knew this more than a year ago and lied to the American People for either political or personal reasons. This deception must be shared by Paulson and Bernanke and that implies that the bailout could be another fraud on the public. I assume this extends to the lack of transparency and the restrictions on the SEC to do their job over the last year.
We're in a recession?! What?! But, but, but....I thought we were just a "Nation of Whiners" and that it was only a "mental recession"! I thought that "the fundamentals of the economy were strong"! And how could the recession had started back in December 2007 when Rush Limbaugh has been calling it "The Obama Recession"?!
This can't be! The Republicans are for Family Values and are good Christians. They wouldn't lie to me! And they couldn't be mistaken because God talks directly to them every day! I'm confused!
Nothing like working at the speed of Government! Unfortunately, in a year they'll be telling us we are NOW in a Depression.
wow--they finally woke up.They were the last to know as usual. Wake up Washington
you mean for most working people the recession began 6 years ago...we are now in a depression...negative growth....
That's it!
A N O T H E R Bush/Cheney LIE! That FOTHER MUCKER!!!!!
Those "stimulous checks" were NOTHING more than a diversion before the sh*t hit the fan. Bush knew it and Paulson knew it too. And, no surprise that Bush even suggested there might be another round of stimulous checks RIGHT BEFORE AIG collasped and then Wall Street. They thought they could B.S. again without us hopefully noticing 'when' it was going to come crashing down on all our heads. Guess Bush ET AL thought we'd take another sip of the Kool-Aid because we've done it sooooooo many times before. So instead, with big cajonnes they boldly went before Congress with no more than a 2 page document and asked for $700 Billion. REALLY think about that!!! How does one spin that? Recall how after Paulson went before Congress, the FIRST time, and met with a select group of Congress, how Congress came out of that meeting in total shock!!! Congress KNEW they couldn't go before the American people and tell the TRUTH about how this collaspe was in the works for some time because Congress' hands were dirty too. So, we've ALL been taken by BUSH AND CONGRESS AND THEY STILL WANT MORE FROM US, THE TAXPAYERS!!! WHEN ARE WE GOING TO WAKE UP AND SAY, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH - TAXATION WITHOUT REPRSENATION HAS TO STOP!!!!!!!
Hmmmm werent they trying to say we werent officially in a recession back then?
No Kidding!
Duh
Wow... they just figured that out. We have been shedding 100,000 jobs each month for the last 11 months. Oh wait in July & August the fundamentals of the economy were strong. Its true because Bush & McCain said so.
Anybody living in the real world here in the U.S. was aware it began quite a while ago. Only the lying, denying GOP pols had the audacity to pretend it hadn't. It wasn't that many weeks ago that McCain, who couldn't even remember how many houses he owned told us that the economy was fundamentally strong. Why does it take utter economic disaster before these lying idiots stipulate to the blatantly obvious truth? Yet the 30 percenters applaud the "competence" and "leadership" (thinking people here on Planet Earth call it greed and corruption) that caused the problem . . Pathetic.
So it's now official: We are in the second year of our third Bush recession.
Good Riddance; January 20th can't come soon enough.
NO freaking kidding? You don't say. I'd have to argue that we've been in a recession for the last 30 years, and that the only thing keeping us from noticing has been the unbelievably huge credit debt we've been collectively racking up.
The republicans have held the Whitye House for 20 of the last 28 years and the congress for 12 of the last 14 years. Republicans really do exist in their own world with their own reality. It's good for the rest of us that they will not be in the majority anytime in the foreseeable future.
And in that time, republicans had a record number of filibusters preventing anything remedies passing from the democrats, and if anything DTD, Bush was right there with his veto!
I'm sorry, but your arms and legs really WERE broken after all.
I know I'm your DOCTOR and you counted on my diagnosis, but if I'd told you that you needed traction,
you might have sued me for that prescription that made you jump off a cliff!
But you didn't. And you paid my new higher fees, thank you.
Anyway, we're going to have to re-break your arms and legs to set them properly. Ouch!
excuse me while I wash my hands
It sure feels recessiony.
And the products will soon be recalled after they poison some republican children...
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